‘Harte?’
‘Briggs.’ She’d only left him at the station a short while back. If he was calling to ask her if she was okay again, she was going to lose it with him.
‘Where are you?’
She shrugged her shoulders. He’d called to ask her that.
‘Sorry, I didn’t mean to pry. I was a bit worried about the way you hurried off.’
She exhaled under her breath. ‘I’m just visiting my mother.’
‘You said your mother was dead.’
‘She is. I’m at the graveyard. I’m sorry. I just need some time to myself, can you understand that?’
‘Of course. Call me when you have something. If you need to talk, you know where I am.’ Briggs ended the call, leaving Gina once again in solitude.
‘Sorry, Mum. I have to go. Did I tell you I’m a detective now? I know I didn’t. I wished you’d have been around to see me climb the ranks. When you last saw me, you must have been so disappointed.’ Her mother would never know she’d joined the police and carved out her career over the years, finally becoming a detective inspector. ‘All you saw was a failure. I must have been such a disappointment.’ She’d once been a young woman with no direction in her life, living with a man her parents could see was bad for her. ‘I hope you’d be proud of me.’ How could anyone be proud of her after what she’d done? Finding bad people was all she could do to make it up to the world. She owed it that much. She stroked the rough headstone and used the top of it to help her stand.
Under the moon’s light she could see the blood mingled with dirt on her hand. As always, she wore her black trousers. Wiping the muck and blood on them, under her coat, she began the walk over the grass back to the car. Something felt wrong. Walking away felt like she was leaving her mother all over again. A tear began to trickle from the corner of her eye. ‘Not now, Harte.’ She wouldn’t cry. She’d never allowed herself to properly cry over her mother’s death. She didn’t deserve to grieve and feel that sense of relief that comes with letting it all out. She couldn’t take people’s love and sympathy after she’d been such a bad person. Forgiveness had to be earned and, up to now, she hadn’t earned it. Another day, another month, another year – however long it took, she’d continue to endure the pain of regret.
‘Bye, Mum.’ She raised the rest of her hot chocolate and drank in memory of her mum’s special hot chocolates. She pulled her hair into a scruffy ponytail and got into the car knowing that there was one thing she could do. She had to do it, maybe then she’d allow herself to grieve. She had to find Susan and take her back to Mary.
She struggled to release the handbrake with her frozen fingers, eventually she pulled hard enough and began driving away from the darkness of the graveyard and the darkness that stirred within her.
Eight
‘Shut up! You know what will happen if you squeal one more time.’ I carefully move the brown lock of hair that falls over Susan’s eyes before leaning over and kissing her tears away. Her stare makes me shiver, it’s like she’s reading my thoughts but I know her well, better than she knows herself. As I look at her, I’m slightly sad. It’s always those closest to us who deceive us. They can after all get away with it, we trust them. I trusted you.
A crow squawks in the eaves of the building, flapping as it escapes through the roof, into the night. I grin before breathing on her, enjoying seeing her squirm. She asked for it and I’m going to deliver.
‘They’ll come for me,’ she murmured as defiantly as ever.
‘Really?’ I roar with laughter as I lie next to her on the threadbare couch, feeling the dampness soaking through my jeans. ‘Aww, bless you. You think someone will miss you, don’t you? No one is looking for you, I can tell you that.’ I place my arm around her shivering body just like I used to back then and I smile before kissing her again on the forehead. She flinches.
I roll off the couch and grab the gaffer tape from what is left on the desk, accidentally scraping a nail full of mould as I grab it.
‘No, please. I won’t make a sound. Not the tape again—’
‘It’s okay, darling. I have work to do, but I’ll be back. Or will I? Maybe I’ll just leave you here to rot, like you did to me back then.’ I pull the blanket over her shoulders, the one that my wife knitted for our daughter, square by square – the only thing I have left to remind me of her. ‘That should warm you up a bit.’ Hands tied, feet bound, I know Susan has no option but to be grateful. I’m in control now.You don’t get away with ruining my life, however much you all snivel and cry.
A stir comes from the other room and it isn’t just the pigeons. One look at Susan tells me that she knows what I hide from her. Tears well up in her eyes.
‘At least you’re not alone any more. Maybe I will come back with another friend for you. The whole gang can be together again.’
Shaking her head, she makes a feeble attempt to kick out with both legs, further tangling her bloodied hair around her face. She splutters as she tries to spit it out. I like to see her in discomfort. I pull off a strip of tape and place it over her mouth, rubbing it firmly over her lips. I don’t see fear at the moment, I see anger. I flick the torch off plunging her into darkness, locking the door as I leave. I know that not being able to see will play on her mind. I will get fear, I promise you. This is just the beginning.
Nine
Thursday, 14 November 2019
Gina and Jacob finished the rest of their coffee as Ryan paced between the living room and the hallway.
‘Jasmine, don’t argue with me. Brush your teeth now.’ He glanced back at the detectives. ‘They don’t seem to understand that I have to make sure we’re all out on time so I’m not late for work.’ He grabbed his drink and slumped into the chair. ‘As I said, on Tuesday Susan called me about picking the girls up from school as she had work to do, that’s all I know. She hasn’t called me and she hasn’t answered any of my calls since.’
Gina placed the cup on the side table. ‘Mrs Hudson mentioned that you and Mrs Wheeler were going through a divorce.’
‘Oh here we go. Wife goes missing, it’s the soon-to-be ex-husband’s fault. I have no idea where she went. None whatsoever. Do you think I want this? I have two kids and as it stands I need to get them ready for school so I can get to work on time. She’s just gone off on one.’
