‘It’s okay,’ Mary said. They had to go on as normal, for Harrison.
‘Okay, I have a minute. What’s the problem? Stop, don’t click on anything. The virus will spread. If that happens, pow.’ He rolled his eyes and his face formed a joking expression as he covered the handset. ‘Some people should never own a computer. I’ll put the kettle on in a minute, love.’
She felt as though she should put the kettle on. He’d been out there searching with the police and the community while she had remained in the warm. She smiled and focused her attention back to Harrison as Howard went off to his office. ‘Right, Harrison. Shall we put the cars away and read a story?’
‘Story, Nanny.’
His little eyes lit up. How could she have missed all the signs he was giving her? He needed a bit of attention just like Clare had back then. She felt herself choking up. After the death of her ex-husband, she had just left her two kids to fend for themselves. Clare never understood what it was like when the maintenance stopped. Their father had accrued no assets, had no life insurance, it was just her, alone. She had been responsible for keeping a roof over their heads and food in their mouths. Money for trainers, money for youth club, money for trips and shopping days. She’d ended up in debt too, all to try to make them happy. She hadn’t appreciated that Clare had put her life on hold; that she’d essentially lost her teen years so that Mary could work as many shifts as possible. After her shifts at the hospital she would also go to a local care home and help with the bedtime routine.
Clare had it tough doing the job she, as a parent, should have been doing. It hadn’t been a flurry of dates, college courses and summer jobs. She’d grown up and become second mother to Susan. The afternoon with Harrison had given her time to reflect. Deep down she knew she’d lost Susan despite what everyone was still saying, but she wouldn’t lose Clare and she certainly couldn’t even contemplate losing Phoebe. She gulped back a sob. Harrison couldn’t see her heartache.
She picked up her phone as the little boy looked through his books. No messages. She parted the curtains and looked out of the window into the darkness and spotted a van. A woman stepped out and knocked on the door. Hurrying, she answered.
‘Lyndsey Saunders of theWarwickshire Herald. Can you tell us a bit more about Susan and Phoebe? We’re looking to run an article in the morning. We can help you.’
The press camping on her doorstep, that’s all she needed. She’d seen press camp outside houses on television, normally when a celebrity had been arrested.
‘I’m sorry. The police are looking for her.’ She knew from the police dramas that what the press published could compromise cases and she wasn’t going to let that happen, not when it involved her family.
She spotted Clare running down the path. The reporter left her and went for her daughter.
‘You’re Susan’s sister, aren’t you? Tell us about your relationship with her. What’s it like with you being made redundant, a bankrupt and living with your parents while she has a nice house and family? Did you resent Susan?’
Clare barged past the woman. ‘Piss off.’
Mary stood there, unable to move. That’s the first thing she’d heard about her daughter being bankrupt. What else was she hiding?
Clare nudged the reporter out of the way and dragged her mother into the hallway, slamming the door on her. The letterbox was pushed open.
‘We can help you all, if you just tell us your story. The public will help, get behind you and look for your sister.’
‘And they need to know I’m a bankrupt for that.’ Clare slammed the letterbox back down and poked her umbrella through it.
Howard hurried out of his office and held the umbrella in place for a few seconds. ‘I’ll stay here, you two go and get warm. Damn it. Bloody parasites.’ He stood against the door, as if holding back a stampede that was about to burst through.
‘We’re calling the police,’ Mary yelled. The pushing at the letterbox stopped and they heard Lyndsey’s heels as she stepped away from the porch.
Mary hurried into the living room where Harrison was sitting in the middle of the room yelling and screaming.
‘Nanny, Nanny.’
‘Come here, sunshine.’ Clare picked him up and held him close, rocking him back and forth. Spotting a tear forming in the corner of her daughter’s eye, Mary hurried over to her. ‘I’m so sorry. Please forgive me for everything. I’ll always be here for you.’ She kissed her daughter’s sodden face.
Clare pushed her away and began to bawl. ‘Why haven’t they found Phoebe? No one is doing much.’ She hit the door. ‘I miss Susan so much and she’s going to be so upset with me.’
‘Why? What is it, Clare? You can tell me.’
Harrison began twisting Clare’s unruly curls.
‘I’ve done something terrible. What I’ve done is unforgivable, Mum. Please don’t hate me.’ Her legs crumpled as she fell to the floor. Mary grabbed Harrison just in time.
Sixty-Two
A rat scurries along what was once a skirting board. It squeaks as it reaches its nest. I love how the rats freak little Susan out as they scurry along the floor. They love blood and decay and the rotting of her flesh. ‘Shut up.’ And on cue, the whimpering begins again. Go do your work rats. Strangulation is too fast for that one. I grin as I suck on my vape, puffing out the vanilla scent through the gaps around the edge of the door. That should cover up the stench, if only for a few moments.
I kick the door open and laugh as the little beady-eyed creature nips at her ankle where the rope has dug into her soft flesh. Shivering, hallucinations, fever – you’ve had the lot, but now, you look like you’re back. You understand what’s going on. You see me and you wait for what’s next. Have I broken you? Have you given up the fight and accepted that death is just around the corner? ‘Don’t worry, darling. It will all be over soon.’ I’m telling the truth too, but first, I need you to see the truth. In your dying moment, you will see the man for who he really is. He’ll come, I know he will. He kept this side of himself from you but all will make sense, I promise.
My bags are packed and I can’t wait to leave, then Phoebe and I will drive off into the sunset. I’m finally taking back what I lost, what you took from me.
