‘Everything okay?’ Ryan began buttoning up Rory’s coat.
Mary shrugged. ‘Is there something going on between you two?’
‘What?’
‘You and Clare.’
He rolled his eyes. ‘I think Nanny’s lost the plot, son.’
‘Answer me.’ She had to know. The phone calls. Clare making sure she was well preened for his arrival.
‘Just shove off. My daughter is missing and all you can do is accuse me of sleeping with Clare. Haven’t you got more pressing things to think of?’ He dropped his hands in frustration.
As he turned, Clare was standing in the doorway, holding Harrison in her arms as he tugged at her hair. Clare turned and fled to her room, slamming the door behind her. Harrison’s yells once again filled the house.
‘Now look what you’ve done.’ Mary tucked her hair behind her ear.
‘What I’ve done? You just blatantly asked if Clare and I were having it away together. The mother of my children is missing, my child is missing and the bastard I caught her at the pub with all those months ago has been murdered. I’ve got bigger things on my plate than all your petty little dramas.’
A tear welled up in Mary’s eye. She’d only asked him a question but he was right. As always, she’d put her foot in it. She should have asked Clare but she knew her daughter wouldn’t tell her the truth. Maybe Clare simply had a crush on him. He was handsome in a rugged way and he was about to become single.
‘I’m sorry.’
‘I can tell. Until next time. You never did think I was good enough for Susan and that rubbed off on her. She obviously went looking for someone you’d approve of, being a mummy’s girl and all. You should take a good look at yourself.’
‘Is that why you followed her?’ Mary snapped.
They stood in silence. The veins in his neck pulsating as he ground his teeth. She’d pushed him this time. Maybe that’s what he’d been like with Susan when she challenged him. If he couldn’t have her any longer, maybe he’d hurt her or said something that had driven her away.
‘She was lying to me.’
‘Did you follow her the day she went missing?’ She wasn’t sure whether to push much more but her grandchildren were now in his care and he’d already lost one of them. If he was abusive in any way, she had the right to delve deeply in order to protect them. It mattered to her and she had doubts. She didn’t buy Clare’s version of events, that Susan was just attention-seeking or that she dramatised some of the things she mentioned in the divorce papers.
‘Daddy, look at the birdy.’ Rory pointed to the sparrow bobbing around in the garden with a dried mealworm in its mouth.
‘Come on, son. Time to go. I’ve got you some chocolate buttons in the car. I have all of ten minutes before the bloody family liaison woman comes back.’ He stared into Mary’s eyes as he gripped Rory’s hand and led him out into the hall before slamming the front door and leaving.
Mary’s shoulders dropped as she exhaled. Something about the intensity of his gaze fixed on hers had made her hold her breath, not wanting to let him see how tense she’d become. He’d left without giving her an answer. Had he followed Susan the day she went missing? Her body crumpled as she fell onto the stool and sobbed. Her arms ached to hold Susan and Phoebe again.
Clare thundered down the stairs, Harrison screaming with every step. She burst into the kitchen. ‘Here, have him. I need to pop out.’ She thrust the wriggling child at her, his arms waving dangerously as he yelled.
‘Wait…’ Before Mary could continue speaking, Clare had slammed the door and left. Harrison accidentally whacked her in the eye.
‘Nanny crying as well.’
She placed him on the floor and his whimpers calmed down.
‘Nanny hug.’
She looked at the rosy-cheeked child, tears glistening all around his eyes and a trail of snot leading from his nose to his ear as he held his arms out for a hug. She stood up, unable to feel the same connection with him as she did with Rory. She grabbed a dishcloth and began wiping his face, causing him to sob again.
‘Nanny, hug. Harrison sorry,’ he bawled.
What had she done? Her heart should be melting and she should want to hold him and comfort him. He was her grandchild, but she felt no connection to him at all. She had simply been lumbered with him. He cried as he held his arms up, pleading with her to pick him up.
‘What’s going on?’ Howard entered the kitchen, rubbing his eyes and picking the child up. ‘Come here, sport. What’s with the tears?’
The child instantly calmed down and hugged Howard. She’d failed and she knew it. This is exactly why Clare was so resentful. She was doing the same with Harrison and Rory as she did with Susan and Clare. She reached out to stroke Harrison’s cheek, just like she often did to Rory and he turned away from her. She’d lost him too and now it was too late. She’d lost them all, her daughters and her grandchildren.
