She hasn’t shown up at the ranch either, which is weird. When I went out to the barn today, there was even someone else from the clinic in Katie’s place.
Even when she was at her most fed up with me, she never blew off work. That’s just not who she is.
One thing I know for sure, if I just sit on my ass in front of my computer thinking about it I’m gonna make myself nuts. Between Katie going radio silent and all my job applications going bust, this place is starting to feel like it’s jinxed.
Wandering out front between the barn and the house, I catch sight of the vet’s tail lights heading for the main road. Seeing it kicks up a queasy twist in my stomach.
The prospect of going into the house doesn’t help matters any. My sister and I may have reached a kind of peaceful stalemate, but things with my dad are still pretty edgy.
I’m half tempted to hop in my car and zoom into town, just to get away from how fraught everything here on the ranch feels. Down a bucket of beers to take the edge off and not come back until everybody is in bed.
But that’s not how I’m trying to do things these days. Everything with Katie and the baby means turning over a new leaf, and I should stick to my guns.
Mary’s alone at her laptop in the kitchen when I step inside. Getting her alone gives me a chance to get some info on the vet situation. Hopefully without sending up too many flags. By this point, Mary is by far the person whom I have the easiest time talking to at this whole ranch, which is wild to think about.
“Hey,” I say. “Whatcha working on?”
“One of the beef retailers we partner with asked me to take a look at ways to help with their branding. Just getting familiar.”
“Nice.” I help myself to a cup of coffee, leaning against the counter as casually as I can. “I saw the new girl heading out,” I say, trying not to sound too interested. “How’s she working out?”
“Not bad.” She shrugs, studiously keeping her attention on her screen. “It was just a round of vaccinations today and your dad wanted one of the cows checked for an abscess. False alarm.” Boy, she knows how to keep her cards close.
“Good, good.” Much as I might not want to, I have to try a more direct approach. “So, was Katie off on another job today, or…?” I let it hang, and Mary smiles faintly, then closes her laptop. She turns to me.
“They didn’t say. But if you ask me…” She paused, then cocks an eyebrow. “It might have something to do with her pregnancy.”
“You think there’s a problem?” The urgency in my voice betrays my alarm as my mind races as to all the reasons for days of no contact. Maybe something bad happened.
“No.” Mary lets a weary laugh and shakes her head. “Pregnancy is hard enough all on its own. Have you considered that?” The question hits like an arrow in my chest, and she knows she hit the mark. “Wayne, I get that you’re being as helpful as you know how, but what are you doing to support Katie.Reallydoing?”
“I… um…”
“Because if I were her, I’d be looking for real support. Someone ready to start building a life together as a family. Not just,” she waves her hands vaguely. “Whatever.”
“Ah.”
It’s like getting splashed awake with a bucket of cold water. Here I’ve been doing what I thought was my best—is it possible that’s just beenwhatever? Numb tingles steal over my body and I nod slowly, unsure what else to do.
I haven’t done enough. Not by a long shot.
“Thanks,” I say. “That was, um… Thanks.”
Wandering out of the kitchen for my room, I pull out my phone again. Nothing from Katie. I want to ring her again, but I get the feeling she wouldn’t answer. Not that I would know what to say if she did.
I was adrift before, but now I’m downright miserable.
All I do in my room is pace the carpet feeling sorry for myself. What can I actually do? The last time I showed up at Katie’s apartment out of the blue, it went poorly. I don’t have the stomach for it, and I damn sure don’t want to put her through that again. Especially this late in the day. It’d only mean a shitty night’s sleep for both of us, and she doesn’t need that.
My phone pings on the nightstand, and I pounce on it like a leopard.
When I see it’s just a text from my buddy Cody, my heart drops.
Cody: “Hey, some of the guys are going out for an impromptu beer. You in?”
Man, back in the day none of these boys would have used the word “impromptu.” It makes me feel impossibly old. I text back that I’m not in the mood tonight.
Cody: “Since when do you turn down a beer?
