It doesn’t make the foundation for a child, either.
I settle my hand on my stomach protectively, my mind filling with certainty even as my heart shatters. I’m going to figure this out.
Staying with Wayne is pointless, even if he does get past his current excuses and decide to try. He’s nothing more than aspoiled teenager at heart, and I’ve been an adult for a long time. It would be nice to have someone hold me and tell me things are okay, but they’ll be fine either way. I’ll make sure they’ll be okay.
Wayne isn’t going to grow up, and sitting around hoping he will is just a recipe for heartbreak and disaster.
I’m capable of doing this on my own. I’ve done everything else in my life on my own, and I can do this, too. I’m going to make sure my child has a life where they’re taken care of and loved.
It’ll be one more thing to handle on my own, but this is worth it.
I’m certain of that.
WAYNE
Idon't sleep for shit.
Katie’s words bounce around my head, refusing to let me sleep.Pregnant.I mean, what the fuck?
How am I supposed to react after coming home tothat?
The shock of it is finally starting to wear off, but I still have no clue what to do. Katie walked back into the barn yesterday and got right back to work. I haven't seen her since. Haven't heard from her.
Nothing.
Just the news that I'm going to have a kid, and then nothing.
I’ve been living carelessly, now that I look at it. I've been living formyself, but that all changed last night. My whole world is upside down, and everything is settling into an entirely new place.
I have a kid to worry about—because in reality, I'm not stupid enough to think Katie was with someone else, even if it was my first assumption. She's not that kind of person. Regardless, life isn't just about me anymore. If I'm honest, it hasn't been like that for a while now. I wasn't ready to admit it, but Katie is important.
Not just because she's carrying my kid, although that's a pretty fucking good reason to get my act together. Even if I didn't care about her, I would never forgive myself if I didn't do the right thing here, but I know that’s not the case. No, Katie has been important this whole time. I've just been too scared to admit it, even to myself.
But I don't have any excuses left. I can't run from this any longer, and I don't want to. I want to show Katie that I can step up and be what she needs. I can be a dad, a partner, aman.
First things first, though, there are a lot of things I need to fix.
I can't magically get a job immediately, but I need to make that a priority. No more pissing around. The ranch has kept me busy, but I can't rely on that forever. My dad is impatient to have me gone, and the feeling is mutual.
For now, I need to focus on what I can fix.
I spend a few hours preparing things as I rehearse what I want to say over and over in my head. I go through about a hundred revisions of it before I settle on something that feels right, and by the time I've got that sorted, everything else is ready, too. Thank God for old friends who are willing to do me a favor.
All I'm missing now is the star of the show herself. And a few props.
My first stop is the florist. They put together an elaborate apology bouquet for me, and I strap it safely into the passenger seat of my car after paying.
I'm nervous as I drive over to the clinic. I don't even know if she’ll be there today or if she’s out for a house call, but I cross my fingers that I'll be able to see her. My heart pounds all the way up into my throat, and I'm pretty sure if she's not there, I'm going to lose my nerve entirely. I don’t know what I’ll even do then.
A sigh of relief tears out of me when I pull into the parking lot and see her car.
I rehearse what I want to say under my breath one last time as I park. Setting my spine, I gather the flowers and head for the clinic door.
I ignore the people and their pets waiting and walk straight up to the receptionist, my most winning smile is firmly in place. She glances between my face and the flowers in confusion.
“Is Katie in?” I shift the flowers in my arms. “I’ve got some apologizing to do.”
The receptionist goes from a little suspicious to positively charmed, and smiles widely before nodding her head toward the back. I expect her to guide me, but the phone next to her rings just as she moves to stand up.
