“What about you, Riggs?” Aaron asks, smiling at me over the rim of his glass. “You got a girl waiting for you back in Billings?”
“God, no,” I scoff. The bartender brings me a new drink, and I toss back half of it within seconds. “I still like to have fun.”
Travis rolls his eyes at me.
“We have plenty of fun, man. The definition just changed,” he says. “Sure, I go out for a couple of beers, but at the end of the day, I just want to go home to my wife. That’s what happiness is, just being at home with people you love. We’re not kids anymore, Wayne.”
I try not to let my irritation show. No shit, of course we’re not kids. Wanting to let off some steam doesn’t automatically make me immature. I’ve had a rough couple weeks, and yesterday was a nightmare. The way Katie looked down at me while I was covered in cow shit was one of the most humiliating moments of my life, and now everyone around me is telling me to step up and be an adult.
I make more money than any of them could ever fucking dream of in their blue-collar jobs. So what if I don’t have a woman waiting for me at home?
“Yeah, but come on,” I say with a disbelieving laugh. “Me? With a ball and chain? Or akid? Settling down would only hold me back, man.”
I spot Katie out of the corner of my eye as the words fall from my mouth, and a sense of guilt immediately sinks down on me. I feel like I just did something disgusting, and the unimpressed look she shoots my way dashes any hopes of her not noticing me.
She’s with the dark-haired girl she was with the first night I saw her here, and she turns her attention away from me immediately. They join a table of other people, and Katie doesn’t glance at me. I hate that her disdain bothers me. Itshouldn’t. What I said is true. I don’t have time for a wife and kids, I’ve got a career to build.
“Hey, whatever you say, man,” Aaron says with a shrug. “I didn’t think I was ready until I met Joy, and look at me now.”
He waves the gold band on his finger in the air, a warm smile on his face. I stare at it far longer than I’d expect to. This is the first time in my life that I’ve ever felt a pull of desire for something like that.
Maybe it’s just because I feel a little adrift right now. It definitely has nothing to do with Katie standing across the room ignoring me.
Maybe I should go talk to her. Not about any of this shit, obviously, but the last time we talked in this bar turned out pretty damn well for me. She’s been dodging me at the ranch, but that’s probably just to save face. I mean, my dadiskind of her boss.
I’m looking for an excuse to step away from the boys for a second when I feel a warm body press right up against mine. Fingers wrap around my wrist and give me a squeeze. I look over to see Vicky’s dark hair and signature red lips curled into an inviting grin.
“Hey there, handsome,” she purrs at me. “Long time no see.”
She drags her hand down my chest, her long fake nails scratching over the fabric of my shirt. They’re dark purple and pointy, just like always. It makes me think of all the scratch marks they left on my back when we were a thing. Vicky’s great in bed, even if we can’t stand each other. It would be an easy way to let loose for a bit.
“Hey, Vick,” I say, grinning down at her. “How’ve you been, sugar?”
“Could be better,” she says suggestively, tapping her nails against my belt buckle. “Why don’t we get out of here? We can catch up somewhere quieter.”
She’s not at all subtle when she tugs at my belt loop, but it doesn’t send heat rushing through my veins like it usually would. For some reason, I glance over at Katie instead of answering, and that sense of guilt settles deeper into my gut when I meet her eyes. She glances at Vicky’s hand draped on my chest before looking back at my face, an unimpressed smirk on her lips. Her lack of surprise is written all over her face, and she shakes her head before turning back to her friends.
“Wayne?” Vicky asks impatiently. “Hello?”
I look back down at her, watching out of the corner of my eye as Katie and a few of her friends gather their things to head out.
“Uh, sorry,” I say, stepping back with an awkward laugh.
I overhear Katie and her friends saying something about catching a movie as they pass. It’s a slap in the face to see everyone around me doing things that are so at odds with what I’m doing. The person I have the most in common with right now is my high school ex, and that’s just pathetic.
“I need to go home, actually,” I say, my brows furrowing in confusion even as the words fall from my mouth. “I’ll catch up with y’all later.”
The guys all glance between me and Vicky in surprise before raising their glasses in silent cheers. I know they’re confused — hell,I’mconfused — but I feel a sudden need to get the hell out of here, away from it all. I leave Vicky shell-shocked, blinking after me. It’s barely even 8:00 PM, far earlier than I’veevergone home from a night of drinking, but I very suddenly just don’t want to be here anymore.
My mind is a mess as I drive home, thoughts of Katie — and not Vicky — circling relentlessly.
Why do I care about the way this hot veterinarian looks at me? Why do I care what she thinks about the idea of Vicky and me getting back in the sack? It’s not happening. Sure, Vicky looks better than ever, but we fucked around plenty when we were younger, and I have no desire to go back for seconds. Katie won’t seem to leave my mind, though.
I storm into the house, feeling dirty and off-kilter. The places Vicky touched me burn, but not in any pleasant way.
As soon as I get to my room, I shuck my clothes off, tossing them haphazardly in any direction as long as they’re away from me. I don’t know why I’m suddenly so worked up, anger and frustration and disgust all swimming in my gut. I want to blame the alcohol, but I know I’ve only had a few drinks, so that’s no excuse. There’s something in my chest that is telling me to grow the fuck up.
I shove my way into the bathroom and turn my shower on as hot as it’ll go. The heat feels good, even if it doesn’t clear my mind the way I’m hoping it will. I rinse the night off my body. I hope that I’ll just need a minute to figure out where any of this is coming from, and I’ll be fine.
