He approaches the tree as if he’s not quite sure this is real.
“This one says ‘To Axel, From Santa,’” he reads carefully, his finger tracing each letter.
“Well then, I guess you better open it,” Cassidy says, settling cross-legged on the floor beside him.
Axel tears into the wrapping paper with enthusiasm. When the tablet emerges, his eyes go round as saucers.
“Is this really mine?” he breathes.
“Really yours,” I confirm, crouching beside them. “It’s got games and books already loaded on it.”
He clutches it to his chest, then reaches for the next package. The clothes aren’t exciting by most kids’ standards, but Axel examines each item like they’re treasure.
The sunglasses make him laugh. A sound I realize I’ve never heard from him before.
When he puts them on, he looks like a miniature movie star, and Cassidy giggles, leaning into me. “Very cool,” she declares, and Axel grins so wide I can see the gap where he lost a tooth.
The cologne makes him scrunch his nose when he sniffs it, then his face lights up. “Like Mr. Ethan,” he says.
“Just like me,” I manage.
Axel carefully arranges all his gifts in a neat pile. When he’s satisfied, he looks up at us with shining eyes.
“Thank you. These are the best presents ever.”
“You’re very welcome, sweetheart,” Cassidy says, reaching out to smooth his hair.
Then his expression shifts, becoming uncertain again. “Can I take these with me when I go to my new family?”
The question stops my heart. Beside me, Cassidy goes perfectly still.
“Axel,” I start carefully, “remember when you asked me if I was your father?”
His face immediately shutters, and he looks down at his hands. “Yes,” he whispers. “I’m sorry. I know you don’t want me to know, but Mama told me. She said you were my daddy, but you didn’t want me cause I’m bad.”
“Oh, sweetheart,” Cassidy breathes, reaching for him, but he shrinks back.
I swallow hard, my throat burning. “Axel, I am your father.”
His bottom lip starts to tremble. “I know you don’t want me,” he whispers, tears beginning to roll down his cheeks. “It’s okay. Mama said I’m a whiny pest, and that’s why you never came. I’ll try to be better for my new family.”
I drop to my knees in front of him, bringing us to eye level. “Axel, look at me.”
He reluctantly meets my gaze, tears streaming down his face.
“You are not a pest. You are not whiny. You are not bad.” My voice is fierce, urgent. “You are smart, and kind, and brave. You are patient when things are hard. You take care of yourself when adults should have been taking care of you. You are everything good in this world.”
His chin wobbles. “But you didn’t come see me.”
“That’s because I made mistakes. Big ones. But none of it was your fault.” I reach out slowly and cup his face. “You are wanted, Axel. By me. And by your aunt Cassidy. So very much.”
“Really?” The word is barely a breath.
“Really,” Cassidy responds.
I brush away his tears with my thumbs. “I want to teach you how to throw a baseball. I want to help you with homework. I want to take you to school and pick you up and read you bedtime stories. I want to be your dad, if you’ll let me.”
He stares at me for a long moment, hope and fear warring in his expression.
