Ethan’s expression falters. “That’s impossible. You were… No! No!”
The back door slams open, cutting off our argument. Axel stumbles inside, snow clinging to his coat and tears streaming down his red cheeks.
“Are you fighting about me again? I heard you yelling.” Axel looks from one of us to the other with those too-serious eyes. “I’m sorry,” Axel whispers. “I didn’t mean to make you mad at each other. I’ll go with my new family soon.”
“Hey, buddy,” Ethan says, reaching out to brush snow from Axel’s coat. “We weren’t fighting about you.”
“We were just... discussing Christmas plans,” I add lamely. “Adults sometimes talk loudly when they’re excited.”
Axel looks between us skeptically, but the hope in his eyes breaks my heart. “Really?”
“Really,” Ethan confirms. “In fact, I think we need to help you build the snowman. Every little boy needs a snowman.”
“And maybe we could make snow angels?” I suggest, forcing brightness into my voice. “I bet you’ve never made one of those.”
Axel’s face lights up despite his tears. “Can we really? All of us together?”
“Absolutely,” Ethan and I say at the same time.
Five minutes later, I’m digging through Britney’s closet looking for something warmer than my thin sweater. The clothes smell faintly of cigarettes and cheap perfume.
I’m pulling down a heavy cardigan from a high hanger when it knocks into a stack of books on the shelf above. Several fall, scattering across the floor with soft thuds.
With a sigh, I kneel to gather them. Mostly paperback romances with creased spines, a few notebooks, and a yearbook. As I’m stacking them, a small leather journal slips from between two books, its pages fanning open as it lands.
I almost close it immediately. Reading someone else’s journal feels wrong. But a date catches my eye. December 20th. Eight years ago.
My fingers hesitate over the page. I shouldn’t. But that date...
Britney’s familiar handwriting sprawls across the lines:
C + E are back for Christmas. He has a ring. Saw it in his bag. Always Cassidy, never me. But he doesn’t really love her, he loves me. He always helps with homework when I call and always answers my calls. Lila says her brother’s stuff mixed in his drink will make him relax enough to admit the truth. Just need to get him alone. I’ll prove to Cassidy that Ethan wants me. She can’t win everything forever.
I flip to the next entry. Then the next. Each page reveals more of my sister’s scheme. They detail Britney’s resentment, her fixation on Ethan, the elaborate plan she’d concocted with her friend Lila to gain Ethan’s interest.
When I reach the entry dated two days after Christmas, I pause, pressing my hand to my mouth. The casual way she wrote about the aftermath, about watching my relationship implode, her satisfaction in knowing I would never forgive Ethan…
The journal slips from my numb fingers.
All these years, I thought... I believed...
I sit back on my heels with a strange buzzing in my ears. Eight years of pain. Eight years of doubting myself, of wondering what I’d done wrong, of blaming Ethan, then blaming myself.
All because my sister couldn’t stand to see me happy.
My phone buzzes loudly, startling me. Ms. Rodrigue’s name flashes on the screen.
“Hello?” My voice comes out strangled.
“Ms. Morgan? I have wonderful news. We’ve found a placement for Axel.”
The words don’t register at first. I’m still staring at Britney’s diary on the floor.
“I’m sorry, what?”
“A foster family. The Hendersons have agreed to take Axel immediately. They have a snowmobile and can pick him up tonight. I know it’s short notice, but with the holiday—”
“No.” The word bursts out of me before I can think.
