He kept up his sweet sensual torture; each brushing caress of his thumb followed by an intimate stroking that layered sensation upon sensation. It was heaven and hell and everything in between.
She knew what would happen…her release would not be a new experience, since she had never been shy about private exploration, and her reading material over the past few years had filled in many gaps.
She knew all these things, and yet this was, truly, her first time.
Her first time under the clever direction of a man she cared for—deeply. Her first time being half-naked with said man, revealing her womanly parts to his gaze without shame or inhibition.
She adored the feel of his hand between her legs and his lips and mouth on her breast. She knew she would adore the sensation of his naked skin against hers. If and when that would occur, she did not know. But one thing was becoming abundantly clear.
It would happen. She could no longer deny the idea.
Her mind slowed, lethargic thoughts surrendered to physical responses. Her thigh muscles hardened as a sharp and blissful tingling sensation began to flood down her spine to her loins.
Her breath caught, sped up, and then threatened to desert her all together.
James seemed to sense the imminent eruption because he held her tightly and worked his hand fast now, driving her up—and up—and over.
She opened her mouth to cry out but he was there, sucking her scream into his lungs, squeezing her against him, moving his fingers in time with the rolling spasms and guiding her over the crest into a maelstrom of blind ecstasy.
It felt as if lasted forever. Eons of sensation rocking her from her toes—which curled—to her eyebrows. It was a breath away from pain, a violent explosion from within, made even greater by the sensation of a man holding her, touching her. Her breast rubbed against his jacket as she squirmed, an additional abrasion that brought a sob to her throat.
She choked on words she could not voice, sighed as the peak passed and the world began to restore itself to normalcy, and finally opened her eyes to see James’s face looking at her with a mixture of awe and affection. At least that’s what she hoped it was.
Wait. No she didn’t. What was shethinking?
“God, you are beautiful in your passion, Letitia.”
She sighed. He always said the right thing in the loveliest of ways. And he said it with such sincerity, she could almost believe it.
Did she want to? Did she want a declaration from this man?
She wasn’t sure that was what she wanted. She didn’t want to be seduced by a clever turn of phrase. And she realized, with a horrid shock, that she wasafraidhe might tell her he loved her. She didn’t want that. It brought nothing but pain. She had spent her youth watching her mother’s misery, and had vowed not to repeat it.
Yes, she was afraid of that level of intimacy. Nothing in her experiences had convinced her that being in love could be anything a mistake. If you were lucky, like Edmund and Simon, it worked. It could be terribly tragic if luck chose to desert you.
Being inlust, however? That was something she viewed as acceptable.
Taking the verbal bull by the horns, Letitia looked at the man holding her. “I want you to fuck me, James.”
He blinked. “Now?”
She rolled her eyes and began to disengage their tangled limbs. “No, of course not.”
“I mean I will if you want…” He seemed rather precise, his words crystal clear.
She noticed the large bulge in his breeches and deduced his discomfort. “No, we can’t. Not here.” Her bodice restored, she urged him to move. “I suppose what I’m saying is that you’ve started something now. We’re on a road to something between us that we cannot ignore.” Her skirts followed as he half-fell, half-rolled off the sofa, and picked himself up.
“I know.” He held out his hand and assisted her, which was a good thing since her legs felt oddly weak.
She wasn’t even going to mention the sticky state of her thighs. “So we are agreed?” She moved away from him and tidied a few strands of hair. “We shall finish this. To its inevitable conclusion.”
He looked at her with an odd expression. “You want me to fuck you.”
She nodded. “I do, yes. I am eager to learn about the ultimate expression of intimacy. And this has demonstrated our compatibility.” She turned to him. “Did you not think so?”
“Oh I agree,” he nodded, watching her carefully. “In fact, I’m very much looking forward to it.”
“Good, then it’s settled.” She looked around and picked up her reticule. “We must return, James. I would not wish our absence to raise gossip or cause trouble for Aunt Venie.”
