Page 70 of Doubts and Desires


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Drawing breath, she moved toward him. “Good day to you, Samuel,” she said brightly, slowing her step as she approached. “I’ve come to visit with you again. I hope you remember me.”

As before, he showed no indication he’d noticed her. That is, till she bent to retrieve the errant tile. She sensed his awareness while still crouched at his feet and looked up to see his mangled face gazing down at her, his one good eye widening in recognition. A sound escaped him; a raspy groan that surely implied delight, followed by the scrape of his chair as he pushed it back. Then, to Louisa’s astonishment, he rose to his feet, stretched out a hand, and waggled his outstretched fingers, the intent unspoken but quite clear.

Here, let me help you.

From somewhere behind her, she heard Jane’s soft gasp.

Louisa regarded his outstretched hand, which trembled slightly. The papery skin, mapped with irregular veins, bore the telltale stains of age, but was otherwise unmarked. The fingers waggled again, demanding, encouraging. Long, fine fingers, the kind one might easily imagine dancing across the ivory keys of a piano.

Louisa placed her hand in his, his flesh cool against hers. Then he closed his grip, surprising her with his strength as he helped her to her feet.

“Thank you, sir,” she said, as he released her. He said nothing, but merely regarded her through his one blue eye, which narrowed a little, as if assessing her.

“Do you remember me?” she asked, placing the single domino with the others. “I was here not long ago. You spoke to me and asked me to play.”

Then he touched her cheek with his fingertips and his lopsided smile appeared. “Gray,” he said, and sat down, pulling up his chair before shuffling the dominoes. “Play.”

Louisa glanced at the others, her expression a silent request for approval.

“I have no objection,” Charles replied. “All right with you, Maxwell?”

Maxwell nodded. “He seems calm enough.”

“It truly is remarkable, Louisa, the way he responds to you,” Jane said. “Not only speaking but offering you his hand the way he just did. As far as I know, he’s never displayed that kind of behavior with anyone else.”

They played as before, except this time they played more than once. Samuel remained engaged throughout, constantly encouraging Louisa by making the same, odd little sounds. She, in return, talked to him, encouraging his moves, asking him all kinds of questions, trying to tease another word out of him. But to no avail.

“It seems ‘play’ and ‘gray’ is the extent of his vocabulary,” she said, after conceding the last game to him. “I wonder if there’s something else we can do besides playing dominoes. How mobile is he? Maybe we could take a stroll around the gardens.”

“He walks well enough,” Charles said, his eyes flicking to the window, “but bright sunlight bothers him. I’m not sure if it’s because of his sight or the scarring on his face. Maybe both. In any case, today wouldn’t be a good day, since the sun keeps putting in an appearance.”

“Play,” Samuel said, having just mixed the dominoes atop the table.

Louisa cocked her head. “I should think you’d play all day long if you could, Samuel. Am I right?”

“Have you had enough, dearest?” Jane asked.

“I believe I should be asking you that question,” Louisa replied. “If you’re all agreeable, I’d like to play one more. He’s obviously enjoying himself. Besides, if I win this one, it will make us even. Right, Samuel?”

“I have no objection,” Charles said. “I’m more concerned about how he’ll react when you leave.”

Since Samuel had won the previous game and obviously anticipated another, he’d already picked his first tile; a double four. “Play.” His mouth twisted in another smile. “Play gray.”

Louisa held up a forefinger. “Just one more. All right?”

He didn’t respond other than to regard her expectantly. Though he couldn’t communicate with speech, he communicated nonetheless, she realized. His good eye was like a small window, displaying what lay behind it, expressing what his tongue could not. Right now, it was expressing anticipation and a touch of impatience.What are you waiting for?it seemed to say.Get on with it.

Louisa smiled, chose her first domino, and the game began.

“That makes us even, sir,” she announced sometime later as she placed her final tile. “Three games each. I’ve enjoyed your company, but I have to go now. All right?”

Samuel responded by shuffling the dominoes atop the table again.

“No.” Louisa shook her head and placed a hand atop his, halting his movements. “No more today.”

He lifted his head to look at her.

“Louisa,” Maxwell muttered, his tone cautioning.