Page 59 of Doubts and Desires


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“No, it doesn’t. As Charles said, Samuel is a wonderful mystery.”

“So, it would seem.” Julian narrowed his eyes. “I can tell the episode had quite the effect on you. Either that, or there’s something else amiss. Tell me the truth, Lou. I get the distinct impression something is bothering you.”

“Nothing is bothering me. I told you. Everything is fine.” She smiled and switched the conversation to more comfortable territory, enquiring after Josiah and Arthur.

“They’re both well, as far as I know,” Julian replied. “Arthur’s excelling in school and Josiah is, I expect, still happily wielding his brushes.”

Louisa regarded him, looking for a sign that he was aware of Josiah’srisquéventures. She saw none.

“You’ll see them at Uncle Isaac’s party,” Julian continued. “It’ll be the first time the family has all been together since your wedding.”

“Can’t wait!” She almost told him about Maxwell’s Glasgow meeting but decided against it. There was yet plenty of time to change Maxwell’s mind. Instead, she glanced at the mantel clock and rose to her feet. “It’s getting late, brother mine. I’d best be on my way.”

He stood also. “Are you sure you won’t stay the night?”

“I’m sure. Though in hindsight, I wished I’d told McKinney not to expect me. Maxwell won’t be back till tomorrow night, so I could have stayed till the morning, at least.”

Julian followed her out to the hallway and waited while she stood in front of the mirror and settled her hat atop her head.

“You look so much like Mama,” he said, a touch of wistfulness in his voice.

Louisa smiled and turned to him. “Dawkins used to tell me that all the time. Be sure to give Mama and Papa my love. And the demonic duplicates as well, of course.”

Julian grinned. “Will do. Shall I escort you back? Partway, at least?”

“Thank you, dearest, but it’s not necessary.” She raised up on tiptoes and kissed his cheek. “I love you, Jules.”

“Love you too.”

A short while later, Louisa halted Byron beneath the oak tree and looked back toward Highfield, feeling a familiar twinge of sentimentality.Julian was right. It will always be my home.As she urged Byron onward, she wondered if she’d ever feel the same about her marital home, no matter where it was. Perhaps she might when she had children, if and when they came. In any case, the visit with Julian had proven to be a much-needed boost to her spirits. Perhaps that’s what she lacked more than anything—simple conversation and a sharing of thoughts andperspectives. Well, perhaps notallher thoughts, but enough to lighten the burden.

Feeling calmer than she had in days, Louisa kept Byron at a jaunty walk. A thin, patchy mist had drifted across the land while she’d been at Highfield, though it was nothing of any real concern. Consequently, she allowed her mind to wander through her memories of family, marriage, and recent events. She was brought back to the moment when a couple of grouse fluttered out of a nearby clump of heather. Byron danced on his hooves and whickered, tossing his head. Demanding.

“All right, my boy,” Louisa muttered, shortening the reins. “Let’s go.”

Chapter Seventeen

Dusk had creptover the land by the time Maxwell alighted the carriage. He gazed up at Northcott Manor’s impressive façade, where a couple of the windows glowed invitingly, and his gut tightened with anticipation. Undoubtedly, Louisa would be surprised to see him. He’d spent much of his journey home figuring out what he would say to her. In the end, he’d given up trying to memorize a script. He’d simply tell her the truth without any embellishment.

“Your trunk, Mr. Harlow,” the driver said, setting it on the ground.

Maxwell muttered his thanks, stepped up to the door, and pushed it open to see Osborne hurrying toward him.

“Welcome back, Mr. Harlow. Is everything all right, sir? We weren’t expecting you till tomorrow.”

“Everything is fine, Osborne. Simply a change of plan.” He removed his hat. “I trust all is well here?”

“It is indeed, sir,” the man replied, taking the hat.

“Where might I find Mrs. Harlow?”

“I’m not sure where the mistress is at the moment, sir.” He took Maxwell’s coat as well. “She visited Highfield this afternoon, but I overheard Mr. McKinney saying she’d returned a short while ago.”

“That’s all right, I’ll find her. Have my trunk taken upstairs, will you?”

The man nodded. “Of course, sir. Right away.”

Maxwell first went to the sitting-room, expecting to see Louisa seated on the settee, her nose tucked into one of her beloved books. But the room was empty. Next, he checked the library and the east parlor. All empty.