Page 48 of Doubts and Desires


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“I know, it is rather awful.” Louisa said, without looking up. “It shocked me as well.”

“And yet you stayed with him,” Maxwell murmured, as much to himself as to Louisa.Most women would have hoisted their skirts and fled. Or fainted on the spot.

“Yes, indeed,” Jane said. “You obviously have a strong constitution, Louisa.”

“I think not, since my first reaction was to run.” Louisa placed a domino. “But, as I said, something about him touched my heart. I now realize there is nothing to fear.”

Maxwell gazed down at the woman he’d married and tried to imagine Sybella in her place, playing dominoes with a disfigured simpleton. He couldn’t. Indeed, he doubted Sybella would haveeven consented to spending an afternoon at the rectory with Charles and Jane.

“What happened to him?” Maxwell asked. “How was he injured?”

“We have no idea,” Jane replied. “He came here from a rather miserable asylum in York, referred to us by a pastor friend of Charles. Before that he was in Chester, I believe, in a church-run institution that burned down, which is how he ended up in York. Where he was before that is unknown, though we suspect he’s spent most of his life in institutions, so it’s remarkable he’s lived this long. He’s very calm and seems to enjoy his solitude. Never causes a fuss.”

“Then he’s all alone in the world.” Louisa shook her head at Samuel to indicate she must miss a turn. “How sad.”

“He has no blood relatives, but I wouldn’t say he’s lonely,” Jane said. “Young Tom spends a lot of time with him. They play dominoes for hours. Tom reads to him as well, though I’m not sure Samuel understands any of what is said. I’m still puzzling over the fact that he spoke to you. I wish I could hear it for myself.”

“Well, it seems I am defeated.” Louisa turned over her remaining dominoes as Samuel placed his final piece. She pushed back her chair and stood. “I have to go now, sir, but—”

“Play,” he said, and began to overturn the dominoes again.

Jane’s hand went to her throat. “Oh, my heavens!”

“There you are, Jane, your wish has been granted.” Louisa shook the creases from her skirts. “And no, Samuel, I’m afraid I cannot stay any longer. It’s getting late, and we must—”

“What on earth are you all doing in here?” Charles’ voice boomed from the doorway. “Has something happened?”

“Yes, dearest, a miracle,” Jane responded. “It seems Samuel is having a conversation with Louisa.”

Charles flinched visibly. “That’s not possible.”

“Well, not a conversation, exactly,” Louisa countered. “But he has spoken.”

“Good heavens. What has he said?”

“Play,” Samuel said again, his gaze still fixed on Louisa.

Charles’ brows shot upward. “Well, I never!” he exclaimed. “This is quite remarkable. What prompted it?”

“I’m not certain.” Louisa repeated the tale of how she’d retrieved the scattered dominoes. “I didn’t realize he’d never spoken before.”

“Play,” Samuel reached out and took her hand. “Play gray.”

Maxwell tensed. Conversation was one thing. Touching, quite another.

“I’m afraid I cannot, Samuel.” Louisa pulled her hand free and drew a cross over her heart. “But I swear I’ll come back and visit you again.”

“‘Play’ I understand,” Jane said. “But ‘gray’? I wonder what it means.”

“Only he can answer that.” Charles stepped forward and squeezed Samuel’s shoulder. “I always believed there was something going on behind that mangled face of yours, good sir. You’re a wonderful mystery.”

The man showed no awareness of Charles’ contact. His gaze remained fixed, unflinchingly, on Louisa.

“Do you know how old he is?” Maxwell asked.

Charles shook his head. “We estimate he’s at least in his sixties. Then again, with the life he’s led, he could be a good bit younger than that.”

“He’s certainly taken with you, Louisa,” Jane said. “I wish we could all spend some more time with him, but we really have to leave.”