“I see,” he said. “But you’re not infectious?”
“Not now, no. But the virus can flare up and?—”
“What if I didn’t care about a possible virus?” He came around the kitchen island to where she stood in the living room. “What if I thought you were worth the risk?”
“I’d say you should care.” She glanced down at Ginger, who was sprawled at her feet. “I wanted to be honest. With you. With myself. This is why grad school and a career are more important to me than ever. Love may not be in the cards for me. I don’t want to pass this virus on to anyone I love. I’d feel like a bad princess in a Grimms’ fairy tale.”
She was so serious. As if a virus truly rendered her loveless. “Elizabeth, I’m pretty sure people who’ve had mono or Epstein–Barr marry and live full, romantic lives.”
“Maybe, but that’s not a risk I’m willing to take.”
“Even for love?”
“Even for love.”
“Elizabeth, it doesn’t matter to me. Are you sure this is not just an excuse to?—”
“If you want me to go with you to your boss, let me know.” She bent to scratch Ginger behind the ears.
“Yeah, okay, if you don’t mind. That’d be great.”
“Text me when,” she said, walking around him for the kitchen door.
Ryder startled a little as the door softly clicked closed behind her.
16
Going to see Ryder made her late for a shift at Ella’s. But she’d texted Tina she’d be in as soon as possible.
She also felt a bit silly bringing up the kiss with Ryder, all in the name of honesty. Replaying the conversation in her head on her way home, she concluded she sounded more rude than honest. Also, a bit of a martyr.
…I can never kiss a man, ever.
Should she apologize? Do a take-back on the whole conversation? Maybe she would kiss a man, one day, if they pledged themselves in a lifelong commitment. But not during a summer romance. Ugh, relationships…This was why she preferred school and career, logic and order. On the job, she knew the rules. Knew the boundaries.
Granny caught her when she walked into the kitchen from the mud room. “Good, you’re home for dinner.” She was removing a roasted chicken from the oven. “Set a place at the table.”
“Actually, I’m late for Ella’s. Tina needs help. One of the servers called in sick,” Elizabeth tried to pinch a piece from the chicken, but the steaming bird was too hot. “I took some papers over to Ryder.”
“What sort of papers?” Granny said without looking up. She was pouring the juices into her gravy mixture. “And you can tell Tina no. What happened to our pact to keep you from working so much?”
“I’m fine, Granny. I promise.” Though she was feeling tired today. “Papers. Purchase orders and invoices.” She paused on her way to the stairs. “Granny, how did you know you loved Pops?”
Granny whisked the gravy while she thought. “I had a list. Your Pops ticked off all but two, and it turned out to be a good thing. He was handsome, kind, generous, loved Jesus, and worked hard. He treated his mother well. Always look at how the one you love treats his parents. If they are rude and unforgiving, that will spill over into your relationship.”
“What if his parents weren’t around much?”
Granny eyed her. “Ryder?”
“Just asking, Granny.”
“You see how Ryder treats Pops and me. When his parents are in town, I know for a fact he goes out of his way to spend time with them.”
Elizabeth came back to the stove. She needed Granny’s wisdom to wrangle with her thoughts. “We’ve almost kissed a few times.”
“I see.” Granny never broke rhythm on whisking her gravy.
“I told him tonight that I couldn’t kiss him because of EBV. I think I sounded kind of cold.” Elizabeth picked at the small thread protruding from the side of Granny’s apron. “I should apologize.” She gave Granny a forced smile, waiting for her approval.
