Xander launched out of his chair. “What do you want me to say? That I’m a selfish, evil man who didn’t care if I hurt you?”
“That’s what it felt like to me.”
“I thought . . .” He sighed and faced away. “I thought if we cut it cleanly without a bunch of drama, we could both move on.” He knelt beside her chair. “But I was wrong, darling. Very, very wrong.”
“Once upon a time, I thought hearing that would make me feel better, but it doesn’t.”
“Now you’re just punishing me. How long are you going to make me pay? Another year? You’ll be thirty going on thirty-one. I’ll be forty-five in two months. I’d like to have children while I have the energy.”
The conversation quieted as a steward carried out their breakfast.
“I’m not punishing you, Xander,” she said when they were alone again. “But you can’t come in here, crook your finger, and expectme to come running.” She stirred her eggs with her fork but didn’t take a bite. “My whole life has been one big manipulation.”
“What do you mean?”
“Nothing.” She took a forkful of eggs. They were creamy and cheesy. Very good.
“I promise that is not what I’m doing. I just want the woman I love to come home.”
“Xander, do you really love me? Or am I just filling the hole left by Davina?” That felt good. “I walked straight from Mom’s world into yours. I loved you, but I see life differently now. I’m notthatHarlow Hayes. I love Sea Blue Beach. I love working at the Starlight. I’m reading business books.”
“You want to start a business?” He raised his glass to her. “I have it on good authority, I’m a brilliant businessman. So you’re not going to take the CCW job?”
“I’d be crazy to pass it up. Jinx said the money is amazing. But I have to lose the weight.” She shoved her mimosa aside. “Otherwise, I can do that job in my sleep.”
“No doubt. You’retheHarlow Hayes, Most Beautiful Woman in the World.”
“I’m starting to resent that title.”
Xander regarded her for a moment. “How’s the diet going?”
“It’s going.”
“Since we’re being honest, Harlow . . .” He sighed and glanced toward the Starlight sign. “I may have been the reason you turned to food for comfort two years ago, but now you’re just stonewalling yourself.”
“Yet you served me orange juice and champagne.” Harlow leaned toward him. “Do you want me or the beauty? Am I okay like this, Xander? When I gain weight with each pregnancy, will you still want me? I can’t live under that false standard anymore. Maybe I am being rebellious because I was alwaystheHarlow Hayes and never plain ol’ me. I grew up on rabbit food and powdered drinks, diet soda and bread that tasted like cardboard.”
“I’m not saying what the industry demands is fair, but I am saying if you want to go on with it, you have to fit the mold. The same will apply to your business. I don’t hire an engineer to be my accountant.”
“But you hired a crook to be mine.”
“I was as surprised as you.” He took a bite of his omelet. “And yes, I will love you no matter what. But, Harlow, even you can’t fight how extraordinarily beautiful you are. Even now, you captivate everyone around you. I mean, when they were deciding on the Most Beau—” He stopped suddenly. “Oh, hey, did I tell you I finally closed on the new plant in China?”
“Don’t change the subject. When they were deciding on what? Finish the sentence.”
“Harlow, it’s not...” He glanced away. “Nothing.”
“You know your eyes twitch when you lie, Xander.” Sounds from the shore drew Harlow’s attention to the tourists on the beach and a couple of buff dudes hustling to the water with surfboards under their arms.
Suddenly, she saw Matt in her mind’s eye, lacing on a pair of skates so she could pass out flyers, telling her she could do it, then shoving her down the Beachwalk while he chatted up the pilots on the beach.
Boldness welled up inside of her. “Xander, finish your sentence. What were they deciding? Don’t tell me it was about a plant in China or some financial portfolio because you said it on the heels of me somehow being extraordinarily beautiful.”
“You know how the world works, Harlow. Figure it out.” Xander moved to the edge of the deck with his mimosa in hand.
The first time he took her out on theFortune, Harlow leapt from the deck without hesitation. While she hated the sensation of falling, falling, falling, then hitting the water and sinking down without restraint, she loved kicking to the surface and inhaling the first glorious gulp of air. Once upon a time, she loved doing things that scared her a little.
“Why don’t you tell me how the world works, Xander?” She moved next to him.
