“Okay, but when? Not now.” August was only five months away. She’d have to starve herself to get down to her modeling weight, and frankly, she didn’t have the heart for it. Five-eleven, a hundred-and-thirty-two just didn’t seem feasible for a grown woman.
“She wanted to meet right away, but I put her off until September. Charlotte likes to launch new faces over the holidays. So, do you think you could, well, pull yourself together by then?” Jinx squeezed her hand. “CCW is willing to shell out big bucks to get you, Harlow. Likenever-before-seen money.”
“Harlow, darling, isn’t that marvelous?” Mom carried Harlow’s glass of milk to the kitchen sink and dumped it out. “You’ve always wanted to work with CCW, and here they are coming foryou.”
“To be honest,” Jinx said, “I think Charlotte hired me away from Icon for the express purpose of bringing you in one day.”
“I don’t know.” Harlow gathered her pajama top, missing the popped button. “CCWhasalways been a goal. Harlow Hayes likes their brand, history, and products.” She flipped to third person seamlessly. “Are you sure they don’t want Kim Alexis or Christie Brinkley?”
“It’s all you, sweetie. They believe your time away from the scene will make you all the more intriguing when they roll out their new campaign.”
Hmmm, this put a wrinkle in her wallowing. If she couldn’t have what she really wanted, hadalwayswanted—a husband and kids with the house and sprawling yard, white fence, dogs and cats, a hamster on the wheel, and eventually the PTA and a mommycarpool—why not get back to work? Sign with CCW? She’d given her life to modeling. Trimmed the edges of her education, even friendships, to go along with Mom’s grand scheme of creatingtheHarlow Hayes,supermodel.
In that moment, the clouds parted, and she realized if she let her hard work go to waste, continued to give Xander Cole power over her, she was denying her very being.
On the other hand, she’d become accustomed to sleeping in, eating whatever she wanted, whenever she wanted, and parking on the couch from one to four every afternoon forAll My Children,One Life to Live, andGeneral Hospital.
“I can prescribe diet pills.” Dr. Tagg clicked her pen.
“No way, Dr. T.” Harlow moved around the small space to think, to stretch.
“There’s more,” Mom said, nearly as expectant as Jinx had been. “Icon called and—”
“Icon fired me.”
“They want you back. Designers are asking for you, missing your focus and work ethic.”
“I’ll go to Wilhelmina or Ford before Icon.”
“I knew you still had some fight in you.” A giddy Anne Hayes launched into full cheerleader mode.S-u-c-c-e-s-s, that’s the way wespell H-a-r-l-o-w.“Darling, let all this with Xander go, and get back to work. You’re Harlow Hayes, the Most Beautiful Woman in the World.”
Yeah, about that ... The title was almost four years old, and she’d been eclipsed by Jaclyn Smith, yet every time her name was mentioned, the moniker tagged along. And she was proud of it. She’d worked hard at her craft, and the world took notice.
“I don’t know if I was ever the most beautiful, but I did work hard.”
“Exactly,” Jinx said. “So don’t lose all your hard work over aman.”
Dr. Tagg nodded as she doodled faces on her prescription pad.She’d done that through most of Harlow’s sessions last year. While she was grateful to talk to someone, Harlow never really gained any power over her troubles. The best part of each session was the subway ride afterward to Lombardi’s for a slice or two. Food was more than her solace. It was her late-in-life rebellion.
“One last thing,” Jinx said. “You can’t keep living in my closet. I was fine when you landed here last fall, but that room is not safe for you physically or emotionally. Not to mention it’s the only closet in the apartment.”
Harlow sank down to the nearest chair. “I figured this day would come sooner or later.”
“Darling, you’re coming home with me,” Mom said. “We can work on getting in shape together.”
“I’m not going to Atlanta, Mom.”
“Whyever not?”
“Because I’m not seventeen. I’m almost thirty. I’ll find a place. A room to rent.” It would deplete the last of her savings, but she was squandering her money anyway, one takeout at a time.
However, if she signed with CCW, she’d be in the black. “How big of a contract, Jinx?”
“Let’s just sayI’llbe asking to room withyouat your Park Avenue penthouse.”
“That’s it, you’re coming home with me.” Determination powered Mom’s words. “We’ll do this together, Harlow. It would make meso happyif you—”
“Anne, don’t. Harlow is not responsible for your happiness.” Dr. Tagg said what Harlow couldn’t. What she wouldn’t.
