She let it go that evening as they sat on their penthouse deck, cuddled under a mound of blankets, fragrant logs crackling in the fireplace, a winter sunset painting the Manhattan sky. Until he announced he wanted Davina at their wedding.
“After all, we weremarried for fifteen years.”
“Xander, did you have lunch withher? Annis saw you. Said you looked rather cozy.”
He could’ve won an Oscar for his reaction. Surprise, shock, contriteness, and repentance.
“Yeah, babe, I did. I meantto tell you. Does it matter? I didn’t think... Wow, so sorry. Men are dolts.”
Harlow shoveled a large dollop of ice cream, chocolate, and peanut butter into her mouth. It was cold and sweet, filling all the cracks Xander exposed.
The day after she asked about his lunch with Davina, he came home with a diamond necklace from Tiffany’s.
“Forgive me, darling?”
“Of course I forgiveyou. But you don’t have to buy me expensivejewelry.”
She chose to believe Xander’s lunch with Davina didn’t meananything. Didn’t want to rock the boat because she had an eye onherprize. A family of her own.
Sucker! Harlow breathed in all the lingering scents of her comfort and took another large bite of ice cream, which brought on the brain freeze. If only her braincouldfreeze out reality.
“I’mstill very much in love with you.”
No, Xander Cole, you’re in love with yourself.
She washed down the ice cream with a swig of cold, watery Diet Coke. Now she needed something salty. Where was the bag of Lay’s? Ripping it open, she dipped a large, perfectly fried potato chip into the ice cream. Gnarly to the max. Someone should invent salty, fried potato spoons for eating ice cream.
When the concoction of chips, ice cream, and peanut butter and chocolate was gone, Harlow Hayes crawled off the floor, rinsed her hands and face, then returned to her spot, the stupor of her consumption settling in.
Oh grody, she was supposed to be at work. What time was it—five thirty? No wonder the kitchen shadows were so long.
Sorry, Matt.
She should call him. The afternoon skate was over, but as of right now, she’d not make the evening shift either. Never mind that she abandoned the mission of passing out flyers. So if she called him, what would she say?
“Hey, um, I’m eating my emotions right now. Can’t come towork.”
The zig-zag-zing of shame split her in two. She’d been doing so well. Now her dress was stained with ketchup and mustard, ice cream and chocolate. Why did she let herself get out of control?
“Harlow Hayes, this is not how your mama raised you.” Exactly. Which might be part of the problem. Nope, Dr. Tagg would tell her this was Harlow Hayes’ mess.
Draining the last of her soda, she stood and surveyed the mound of food wrappers and decided to clean up tomorrow. As she enteredthe living room, the shadow of theTfrom the Starlight sign once again made a shadow on her floor.
Harlow curled up on the window seat and observed the entirety of the Starlight sign. What had been on Prince Blue’s mind when he built such an extravagant rink?
“You were building your ship, weren’t you?” He understood real heartache. “Only this time on land. A safe harbor for all. A place to sail through life.”
The Starlight had become that for her in the last four weeks. She came down to claim the only possession she had, but instead Sea Blue Beach and the Starlight claimed her.
Though at the moment, she felt lost and confused, definitely a “woman overboard” moment. She was tired, so very tired. And sick. Why, why,whydid she let Xander do this to her? Moving a three-thousand-calorie haul through her system required a fiery furnace, and the first drops of digestion sweat beaded up on her forehead, down her neck, and under her arms.
Harlow collapsed backward on the bench seat and stared at Xander’s gaudy crystal chandelier swinging from a rustic beam. An eighty-thousand-dollar monstrosity.
“The house has to look liketheXander Cole andtheHarlow Hayes.”
He’d said that a lot, didn’t he? The Xander Cole and the Harlow Hayes. Maybe that’s why she thought of herself in third person.
When she told him she planned to change her name to Cole after they married, he’d said,“No! You’re Harlow Hayes,”as if somehow changing her name, making them a family, would cause her to lose her identity.
