“Darling, forgive me, but isn’t that a sign? You dreamt of us andhere I am. The universe is telling you something.”But was it?“You must miss me too. Listen, I won’t deny or excuse my behavior, but know I’m sincere when I say I love you. I want to marryyouand havethatfamily walking on Cole Island.”
Harlow set her glass on the counter with a thud. “Okay, what’d Davina do? Change her mind? That’s why you’re here? Davina doesn’t want kids.”
“Ichanged my mind, Harlow. Davina is gone. I’m over her. I’m free.”
“But I’m not, Xander.” Her loud reply could’ve been heard at the Starlight. “I came here to get free of you and here you stand. I don’t want to ride this sick merry-go-round of she leaves you, you leave me, now you’re leaving her.”
“I know you love me. Why else would you dream of me?”
“Maybe it was more of a nightmare.”
He laughed low. “Okay, fine, I get it. I showed up out of the blue. You need time to adjust. I think you’re here in Sea Blue Beach because you still love me.”
“That’s a stretch. I came here to get back the power I let you have over me when you broke my heart.”
“I’ll go slow, win your trust. But I’m as real as I’ve ever been.” He was saying all of his words but not listening to hers. A trait she’d overlooked before. “Come back to New York. I’ll pay for you to get a place. We’ll work on us while you get in shape for CCW.”
“Jinx told you about CCW?”
“She knew I’d be proud of you. Darling, that’s fantastic. You always wanted that gig. It’s the perfect job while we raise our kids.”
No, no, this was all wrong. “Can we just cut the crap? You’re here because Davina’s done something, right? Or you heard I might be the new CCW It Girl and wanted me on your arm?”
“Absolutely not. None of that, Harlow. I’m here for you alone. Davina and I have parted company for good. And take CCW off the table, I don’t care. Be a wife and mom if that’s what you want. I’ll support you.”
Harlow stepped onto the back porch and faced the Starlight.Tell me what to do.
“When did you decide this?” she asked.
“Probably six months ago.”
“And you just now decided to tell me? But first you warmed me up with your generous gift. This house. Well, I’m not giving it back.”
“I’m not asking you to give it back. It’s yours free and clear. Harlow, believe me, I love you madly.”
“Don’t saymadly. It doesn’t suit you.”
“You want more of the story?” Xander propped against the porch post. “About six months ago, I was on my way home from work, thinking about the evening ahead, and it hit me. I expected to see you on the other side of the door.” He touched her chin and turned her to face his. “I expect you to be there when I wake up. I think of you all the time. I’m here to offer you what you want, Harlow. A family. The house, the white picket fence, children, dogs and cats. A hamster for all I care. I’ll even clean the cage. I’m offering you all of me.”
His presence, his tone, was the Xander she’d loved. “I’d never been in love before you,” she said. “Never made love to anyone. You swept me off my feet. You were so charming and kind and generous, and I thought we had so much in common. AFather Knows Best,Leave It to Beaverfuture. When you proposed, I was the luckiest woman in the world.”
Between Matt shoving her down the Beachwalk with a sack full of flyers and this conversation, she was spent. And starving. “My whole life was orchestrated by Mom. I trusted her. Leaned on her. Then I met you and transferred all my dependence on her to you. With Mom, I had this twisted idea that I had to make her happy. With you, I had some twisted idea thatyouwould makemehappy.”
“I can’t make you happy, Harlow. That’s too tall of an order. But I can be there for all the ups and downs, loving you with all my heart and creating our own happiness. If I’m honest, thehappiest I’ve ever been was with you. So give me a chance. Giveusanother chance.”
She regarded him for a long moment, sinking into his petition. “I don’t know. ... This is so confusing.”
“Then listen to your dream. Trust the vibes of the universe because they’ve been making me think about you like crazy, darling.” He saiddarlingwith the patricianHof all blue blood New Englanders. “The question is do you still love me? Even a little?”
“Look at me, Xander.” Harlow stepped back, allowing him to take in her body. “I’m not the Most Beautiful Woman in the World anymore. I’m nottheHarlow Hayes, supermodel. What if this is me?” She struck a pose. “Can you love this girl?”
“Harlow, I will love you however, whenever. You are beautiful and sexy, clever and smart. I love the woman on the inside as much as—”
“I think you should go.”
Xander hesitated, then took her hands. “Will you at least think about us? Please?” The gold flecks in his hazel eyes seemed to glow as he spoke. “Can I call you?”
“You can do what you like. No guarantee I’ll answer.”
