Of course he knew how. “Money.”
“I’m a fraud, Matt. An Anne Hayes/Xander Cole composite. Fulfilling Mom’s dreams to rub elbows with the rich and famous, to touch the beautiful people, Hollywood. For Xander, being the envy of every man in the world. Makes me wonder if Harlow Hayes can actually do anything on her own. Does she have any ambition other than to keep her mother from crying? Think, Matt, a childhood perception has informed my whole life.” She smacked the wall with her hand. “This,thisplace—ha, a metaphor for Harlow Hayes. A prisoner of someone else’s doing. No, her own doing.”
“HH, slow down, back up. What’s this about your mom? I’m missing some details here.”
“That Sunday after you called me, I went snooping.” She told him what she’d discovered, a story of a secret pregnancy and unrequited ambition.
“So that’s what your mom was crying about when you were seven years old? Because she never got the chance to be a model and actress?”
“Pretty much. She saw potential in me. Had the connections. Dad went along with it to make her happy. To make up for his part in ruining her dream. He also thought I wanted to model because I never protested. Never rebelled. Oh my word, just listening to this story sounds like aDynastyplot.”
“Write me into the script, will you? I’m a successful actor carrying around guilt for his part in ruining his best friend’s life, stumbling into an unbelievable career, which he doesn’t deserve because of what he did to his friend. And to be honest, wondering if acting is really his life’s calling.”
“Aren’t we a pretty pair?”
“Well, you are,” he said with a wink.
“Stop.” But Harlow blushed a little, and his lips buzzed again. “What’s the magic formula?” she said. “How do we find out what we were put on this earth to do? Dad knew he was the cookie monster of Hayes Cookies Company when he was a kid.”
“Granny became the keeper of the Starlight, which fit her perfectly. Dad apprenticed with a construction company before the war and found his calling.”
“If it’s any consolation, you’re a fabulous actor, Matt. Maybe you’re so successful because you were born to do it.”
“You, Harlow, are an amazing model. And a good actress. Maybe you’re successful because you were born to do it. Granted, your folks went about it the wrong way.”
“Yet here we are, two famous and beautiful people, sitting in a jail cell. The metaphor continues.” There was a bit of sarcasm in her voice. “Wonder what it would feel like to be free. On the inside. No more guilt. No more eating my pain.” Harlow walked over to the cell bars. “No more not liking myself.”
“My former publicist said I should figure out what’s eating me. Dad said the same thing, suggested I call Booker, try to make amends. But even thinking about it makes me queasy. I can’t shake it. I’m still the guy who came home for Christmas right after my first movie, saw Booker at the Starlight, and got torn to shreds. In front of everyone. He blamed me for everything wrong in his life right down to his latest relationship flop. Said my big mouth ruined his life.” Matt joined Harlow at the cell door.
“I get it. I’ve borne the weight of Mom’s tears all these years. Maybe that’s what my weight is all about—Mom’s tears. Yet we’re all responsible for our own actions. I can blame Mom or Xander all day long for why I ate myself out of a career, but no one put the food in my mouth. Just me.” Harlow lifted her gaze to Matt. “Seems we’re prisoners of our choices.”
“Maybe I hit Dale because I see myself in him. I wish someone would punch me.”
“Look at us, a couple of philosophers. Maybe what appears to be random events or accidents is just part of the journey to our destiny.” Harlow lightly touched his arm. “I wouldn’t have had such an amazing kiss last night if Xander hadn’t broken my heart. If I’d not lost my job.”
“You think the kiss was amazing?”
“You couldn’t tell?”
He pulled her into him. “About that kiss . . .”
“And your declaration.” She rested her hands on his chest.
“I meant it.” He held her a bit closer. “I’m in love with you, Harlow, but since you didn’t answer me—”
“Matt, I really need to get clear of Xander first,” she said. “And work some things out with my mom. When I tell you what’s in my heart, I want there to be nothing weighing me down.”
“See, there’s the HH I knew on set. Wise, reasonable, in command, and breaking my heart.”
“Oh, gag me with a spoon, why don’t you?” She laughed. “On set you were gaga for your real co-star, Hazel Rosen.”
“Only because I didn’t stand a chance with you.”
“You have a chance with me now, Matt. But do you really want me?” She broke free of his embrace and motioned to her tall frame and full figure. “I’m not the girl on the cover of aSports Illustratedswimsuit edition. I never will be again.”
“I want the girl on the inside, and just so you know, the girl on the outside is darn sexy. Though it might be good to stop sabotaging yourself.”
“Fair enough. I’d like you to get rid of the guilt over Booker. Call him, Matt.”
