“Briley is a horse. Gemma did something she’s not proud of. Do you want me to subject her to ridicule the rest of her life?”
“Shouldn’t she decide? Are you choosing for her or yourself?” Emmanuel waved to a sorrowful-looking woman sitting alone two tables away. She immediately perked up and smiled. “You are disappointed in Holland, but that does not negate your love for her or hers for you. Gemma, your best friend, as you say, has a dark past she’s not proud of, but a friend, I’ve found, sticks closer than a brother. Of this I am very familiar.”
“How do you know all of this? Are you an, an—” John couldn’t say it. He was a man of science. Of letters. “An angel? A spiritualist? What?”
“Many years ago, when I was going through a particularly trying season, I wanted nothing more than my friends to be with me.”
John hated the non-answer answer. “And were they?”
“Almost to the bitter end. Then I was alone, but my father saw me through.”
“Are you saying I’ve turned my back on Gemma?” He confessed what he knew was true. “I’d still like to know who you are and how you know anything of my relationships.”
“Have you reached out? Telephoned? Texted?” Emmanuel dipped his fish into the creamy sauce, then worked on a chip or two.
“She left without a word. I decided she wanted it that way. What else was I to do? I have enough with Mum’s illness, the memorial ceremony, and the wretched investiture, and the accusations against Holland. Not to mention the antics of Hamish Fickle.”
Any more excuses in the box?
“One blessed thing about Gemma Stone,” Emmanuel said. “You know all of her secrets going in. She may not have told you her secret, but she never lied about it. She wanted your respect, John. With Holland, you knew none of her secrets, but you must forgive her. Forgiveness is free. To ask for, give and receive. It’s eternal and the most liberating thing a man can do. On top of that, it costs you nothing, yet gives you everything.”
John gave his attention to the fire to avoid the embarrassment of tears.
“He who’s forgiven much loves much.”
“Are you saying I need to be forgiven? That I’m a sinner?”
“There’s only one man in all of humanity who never sinned, and I don’t believe you are him.”
John laughed. “Well, you have me there, Emmanuel.”
“My dear friend, you will never know the truth about Holland. She’s left this life for another. Forgive her and move on. Now Gemma, oh sweet Gemma, is called to greater things but she believes she’s disqualified herself. If you ask her the truth, she will tell you, John. She needs her best friend.”
“She has a funny way of showing it. She’s not reached out once.”
“Nor have you so the field is even.”
“You have me there.”
“I have one question for you.”
John waited, slightly irritated but he had to listen.
“What are you doing sitting here?”
“Can I propose my own question?”
“Please.” Emmanuel waited.
“What do you want with me? Why are you…chasing me?”
“Don’t you know? I came to set you free.”
John felt as if the logs on the fire had fallen on him. Perspiration began to soak his skin and he could feel it dampen his shirt. His heart became a drum against his ribs, and for the life of him, he felt a wind against his face and hair. Tears pooled in his eyes until Emmanuel became wavy lines.
“I’ve not always been a good man, a good son or brother.”
“Shame weights every soul down. But you don’t have to stay down.”
