Gemma glanced back to the mirrored closet doors and caught the corner end of a large box. “What’s this?”
Imani jumped in front of her. “Nothing. It’s private.”
“What kind of private?” Gemma pushed aside the doors. “What’s in the box?”
Imani’s eyes filled. “Something.”
“Why can’t you tell me?”
“Gemma, you don’t own me. Even if you are about to be my mom. I’m sixteen. Not a child. It’s my private stuff. Don’t you have private stuff you store in a closet?”
“You want to talk about the video? Then let’s talk.”
“No, I don’t want to talk about the video. Only that I defend you every day at school. Justin punches guys who are watching it in the locker room. I know you had your reasons, but you have a lot of nerve coming in here and acting like I’m up to something with Justin when I’m not.”
Gemma dropped down to Imani’s bed. “I’m sorry, Imani. How embarrassing for you. And you’re one hundred percent right. I have no business treating you like how I was at your age.” She pointed to the window. “Dash used to sneak into that window. Or I’d sneak out. We told my folks we were going to the movies, then go park in the woods off Ox Bottom.” Gemma flopped back on the bed. “Don’t even get me started on the road I traveled to win fame and fortune. Sold my soul and sacrificed my body.”
Imani sat next to her. “Is that how you broke your hip?”
“Yes. I fell.” She forced herself to look Imani in the face. “If you don’t want me as your mama anymore, I’ll understand. I keep waiting for your grandmother to write to me, tell me she saw the video on Facebook and how unfit I am.”
“I want you to be my mom. I mean, no other girls’ mama has a rocking body like you.”
Gemma’s burst of laughter was followed by sobriety. “Don’t joke about it. I was nothing but skin and bones. Please do not admire me. Imani, you cannot know the shame. Taking off one’s clothes for entertainment is not freeing, it’s humiliating. I had to lie to myself every day we filmed to get through. It was blessed relief when I fell.”
Gemma,” Imani began, her voice low. “It’s not that I don’t have feelings for Justin. You know, likethat,but I’m not ready. Granny Cook used to preach to me even as a kid how a girl had to wait. Boys too. I didn’t really know what she was talking about, but I know my parents waited for marriage. I kind of had it in my head I would too.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I don’t know. It’s kind of awkward.”
“Tell me about it. I never talked to my mama.”
“Gemma, Justin’s a good guy. We’ve talked about sex because his dad told him to. He knows I don’t want anything physical. Well, except I do like to kiss him.” She blushed. “It’s gotten out of hand a few times.”
“You know, when I moved to L.A., I was going to be the girl who did it right. I knew of actresses who refused to bare all for a part. Who understood dignity. I planned to work hard, study the craft, network, audition, audition, audition, and earn each role for my talent, not my exposed body. But after a few years, when things didn’t break open for me like I thought, I got desperate. Running with the crowd I did, my values and morals slipped. Then Matt came up with the Vegas idea and…” Gemma held Imani by the chin. “Never, ever let some man make you do something you know in your heart is wrong and shameful. Hear me? For that matter, don’t let any woman either. I’ll tell you, the other actresses on the show and the female producer were no picnic.”
Imani stood to retrieve the box, bumping and banging it against the closet walls. “I found this after Granny died and Uncle Roy was cleaning out the house. He was going to throw it away.” She raised the box lid to reveal a mountain of white silk, lace, and tulle, along with a photo album. “It’s Mama’s wedding dress and their wedding album. When I miss them, I put on the dress and look through the album.”
“Oh Imani.” Gemma reached for the book, her tears already spilling over. “You didn’t have to hide this from me.”
“I didn’t want you to feel bad, and…I don’t know.” She shrugged. “It felt personal. As if I was spending time alone with them.”
Gemma squeezed Imani’s arm. “And here I was badgering you. Please forgive me. But anytime you want to talk about them, come to me. I can tell you all about their relationship, how much they loved each other, and their wedding day. How proud your grandparents were on both sides when they graduated from college with honors and went looking at Manhattan apartments. Though don’t get me wrong, neither side wanted Yankees in the family.”
“Was it hard for them? Being an interracial couple?”
“Some. Hearts Bend had been through racial strife in the past, but your parents knew what they were about. If they encountered anything negative, they just went on with their business, their life, their goals. They had the support of their families and friends.”
“Justin’s parents don’t care I’m interracial.”
“Why should they? I don’t care that Justin is white.”
Imani laughed. “I’ll tell him. He’ll be relieved.”
Gemma tapped the teen’s heart. “It’s what’s in here that counts. Don’t let anyone tell you differently. Don’t let anyone define you but—”
But who? Herself? She was only as strong as her weakest link. Gemma wasn’t doing well defining herself.
