Everything changed. Her faux sense of confidence. Her propped-up hope. Jeb Kornowsky had come for the horses.
She kept her back to Daddy, shuffling through a stack of junk mail like she might find she’d won a million dollars, a sadness pouring through her.
“Gemma,” Daddy said. “I know this ain’t easy but—”
His gentle confession popped her building bubble of emotion. “Easy? Do I act like any of this is easy? Do you think losing my precious farm, my herd, my furry family is not ripping out my heart? This isn’t one of those, ‘You’ll get them next time, Gemstone,’ moments, Daddy. This is, ‘You screwed up. You make bad decisions.’”
“Don’t put words in my mouth. We’ve done talked about this and—”
“You’re too kind to me. You give me too much credit. Daddy, you’ve not said one word about the video. I know you know. You may not have seen it. Oh I pray to the good Lord you’ve not seen it—”
“I haven’t. Your mama’s seen a few seconds. All the boys at work have seen it.” Was there a slight blush on her father’s whiskered cheeks? “Some of them many times.”
“Then say something. Your silence is killing me. I didn’t even realize it until now. Tell me how I lost my way, gave up my values and virtue, surrendered my reputation and dignity, all for a shot at fame. Tell me how I let myself, you and Mama, the family, the town, down. I was the golden girl, Daddy. The one who was going to change the world, do good, help people, set an example. I was smart, beautiful, and talented. Now look. I walk with a limp and my former golden glow is draped with a black curtain of shame. Scottie O’Shay didn’t lower herself for a shot at something better. She worked for it.”
“Scottie O’Shay had advantages that you didn’t. I’ll take the blame for that.”
“No, Daddy, I’ll take the blame. You and Mama raised me right. I chose my own path of destruction. I guess I can tell you now Prince John proposed to me. Yeah, he did. The night of the ball. But I turned him down because I knew what type of person I’d been in Vegas. I was afraid if I stepped any further onto his stage, one of those shows, especially the one your coworkers have lingered over, would make it to the surface. Matt assured me they’d been destroyed with his hard drive. But ah, we were foiled by a nerdy porter at the Delafield Hotel who’d discovered it when Matt uploaded it a couple years back. He took it down but it was too late. When I saw it blew up the internet, I knew,I knew, I had to run. So don’t tell me ‘this ain’t easy,’ Daddy. Tell me how much I’ve disappointed you. How I’ve let myself and everyone down. How I don’t deserve a man like Prince John. Shoot, even Hooley can do better than me and he’s missing half his teeth.”
“Don’t seem like I need to say anything. You’re doing a mighty fine job of beating yourself up. Seems you have it all decided.”
“Am I wrong? Have I missed something?”
“You have it all wrong, Gemma. But we ain’t got time for this. Jeb is here.” Daddy pushed open the screen door. “We didn’t ask you about it because you didn’t seem to want to talk about it. But if you want to know what your mama and I think, ask. Don’t assume. Don’t think and speak for us. In that, I know we raised you right. Now come on.”
Gemma bowed her chin to her chest, sniffing back the tears, Dad’s rebuke tender and kind. Tearing a corner of the roll of paper towels on the kitchen table, she dabbed the tears from her eyes and headed out.
A glint of light bounced off the cracked mirror tacked to the doorpost. She leaned for a close look. Her hair was knotted on her head and her T-shirt saidPort Fressa Wharf.
To her surprise, there was a bit of a glow about her. Maybe her speech to Daddy freed her up a bit. But this sort of light seemed to sparkle. It reminded her of the Heart of God.
The bags under her eyes were faded and her formerly pale lips boasted a rosy hue. She was going to have to speak her mind more often.
Taking a step back, Gemma rose up on her tiptoes to examine her breasts and waist. She wasn’t the bag of bones she’d been before the accident. She actually liked her curves. They’d filled out the feather dress rather nicely.
She leaned just a bit closer and smiled. The light in her eyes seemed to sway and swirl, and goodness but if she didn’t bring home some of the Heart of God light.
Gemma unhooked the mirror from its nail and settled it in one remaining box. Sorry Kingstons, but she was taking this with her.
Outside, she met Jeb Kornowsky in the yard as he stood by the open trailer gate. “Gemma.”
“Jeb.”
On the other side, Justin and Imani sat on her lowered truck gate. Twenty yards away, Gemma could see the tears in her eyes.
The herd was leaving. After she’d promised them a forever home. But Jeb was a good man.
“I’ll take good care of them, Gemma. I promise.”
“I know, Jeb. Doc said we couldn’t find a better place.”
Gemma turned as Daddy led Whinny out. That’s when it hit her. A deep sensation of loss. Hold onto the girl in the cracked mirror. Hold onto the girl that understands life moves on.
Hold on…hold on.But the tears were rising hot.
Daddy handed Whinny’s reins to Jeb.
“Up you go, girl.” Jeb owned a large spread northeast of the new highway. His daughter and son-in-law just moved back to HB with the grandkids, so the horses would get plenty of attention and love. And carrots.
