Jesse stood. “Path to love? Who said anything about theLword? She’s great, in fact. She’s playing Esther in the movie, but we’re not a thing.” No, certainly, they were not a thing. “I haven’t talked toher since the wedding. Which is good. We’re... we’re both in the movie, and it’s best if we... Besides, I don’t think—”
“You can forgive yourself?”
Jesse peered down at Smitty. “W-what... do you mean?” He’d never discussed his past with Loxley. Not with anyone in LA.
He fled here to forget. To immerse himself in the world of pretend. Why bring it up?
“Look, man, I know something’s been eating at you since we met, and I figure it had to do with a woman so, if I’m right, forgive yourself. It’s been at least eight years.”
“You don’t know anything about it, Smitty.”
“Maybe I don’t, but confession is good for the soul.” He glanced at his watch, stood with a jerk, and made his way to the door. “I’ll text you the address of the place. I’ll meet you here to help you”—he glanced around—“pack.” Smitty paused in the kitchen. “If you don’t tell me, then tell someone.”
When he’d gone, Jesse made his way to the third-floor deck, drank his coffee, and enjoyed the view one last time.
How had Smitty surmised anything about him? About forgiveness? Beyond the whole, “Oh, by the way, you’re not a legal tenant here,” it was as if Smitty had crawled into his head and took notes. Ted telling him about Chloe? The intuition about a girl in his past? If he’d said her name, Jesse would’ve pummeled him and demanded to know where he got the information.
His brother? His mother? Those two were talkers. But Smitty had no reason to be in contact with them.
The sunrise draped a golden path across the ocean’s surface. So brilliant, so wide, as if Jesse could walk to the edge of the horizon. Seagulls hovered on the breeze, calling to one another, and in this quiet moment, the man of science ached to be a man of faith.
Forgiveness felt like a cure. Almost too good to be true. But how? He’d spent eight years trying to put it all behind him. Yet Smitty saw... detected.
He’d love to confess his sins and seek forgiveness if it’d bringhealing. If his confessor would not despise him by the time he was through. But how could a person not? Jesse despised himself.
Beholding the heavenly splendor over Santa Monica, Jesseknewa divine Creator existed. There were too many unanswered questions regarding the universe for Someone not to have put it all in motion.
But did that Creator see him? Know him? Care about him? If so, where was He that day on the beach?
From his bedroom his phone rang. Leaving his contemplation on the deck, Jesse went in to answer.
It was his brother.
“Hey, Dan, what’s up?” Jesse crashed against the pillows and headboard, shoving aside the small, ridiculous hope it was Smitty calling back to say, “Never mind.”
Or deep down, a small hope that Chloe had acquired his number and called.
The conversation with Dan was typical.How are you? I’m fine. When does the movie release? Don’t know, haven’t even started filming yet.
“Listen,” Dan said. “I wonder if you could make it home this fall? Dad’s talking Octoberfest. I wanted to get it on your calendar. And, oh man, you should see Gran’s new pool. It’ll be too late to swim, of course, but Dad went nuts when she contracted it. She spent at least forty grand. Remember that pool we saw in the Bahamas?”
“I didn’t go to the Bahamas.”
“You didn’t? Yeah, sure you... Oh, right.” Dan lowered his voice. “Sorry. Anyway, Octoberfest. What do you say? I know Mom is missing you.”
“She was just out here.”
“Last summer, bro.”
Had it been that long?
“And you have to see our new office. DiamondBros is right in the center of downtown Boston. I have a harbor view.”
“Just like you always dreamed.”
“Wealways dreamed. I miss you, Jess. DiamondBros isn’t the same without you.”
Diamond brothers. Their nickname for themselves growing up, playing sports, chasing girls. Diamonds were tough yet classic. Just like the Gates boys.
