Oh, great. The million-dollar question. Not exactly my favorite topic, but if it keeps my celestial chimichanga engaged, I'll bite. Figuratively speaking, of course.
"Buckle up, buttercup, 'cause this story's a doozy," I warn her, taking a deep breath. "Picture it: England, 1822. I was a strapping young lad of twenty-two, living the simple life in a quaint little village. I had a family, a job, and a future so bright, I needed shades."
Seraphina leans in, her honey-gold eyes fixed on me, and I can't help but feel a twinge of something in my chest. It's probably just indigestion from all the rum.
"Enter Lilith, the fire-red-haired temptress who sashayed into town. She was a vision, all pale skin and emerald-green eyes. Every man in the village was tripping over themselves to get a piece of that, myself included. Little did we know, she was more interested in our jugulars than our hearts."
I pause, the memories rushing back like a tidal wave of shit I've tried to bury for centuries. "Long story short, Lilith took a liking to yours truly. And I got a one-way ticket to Bloodsuckersville, population: me."
Seraphina's eyes widen, her hand coming to rest on my arm. The touch is electric, sending shockwaves through my undead body.
"Turns out, Lilith is a very old vampire and had a thing for turning pretty young things into her eternal playthings. I was just another notch in her bedpost, another pawn in her sick little game. She made me do things, Cupcake. Things that still haunt me, even after all these years."
I clench my jaw, the anger and betrayal as fresh as the day it happened. "I was her puppet, her little blood-sucking protégé. She reveled in the kill, in the power she held over me. And I hated every fucking second of it."
Serphina's gaze is still locked on mine. "How did you escape her?"
"It took decades, but I finally grew a pair and broke free—made her release me. I struck out on my own, vowing never to be anyone's bitch again. Until I met my brothers, we all share the same maker. I use my wit and charm to mask the pain. It's a lot easier to crack jokes than to face the darkness, you know?"
Seraphina nods, her thumb tracing soothing circles on my skin. "I know we're still getting to know each other, but I want you to know that you don't have to hide with me. I'm here for you, Lucian, no matter what."
I swallow hard, my throat suddenly tight. "Careful, Cupcake. Keep talking like that, and I might fall for you harder than I already have."
She smiles, and it's like the sun breaking through the clouds. "I think I can handle that." I want to kiss her badly. "May I ask how you made her release you? What does that mean?"
I let out a breath and take a swig of rum, letting the burn distract me from the memories. "In Vampire 101, when a Maker turns you, they basically slap a 'Property of' sticker on your forehead. It's like being stuck in a never-ending game of 'Simon Says' where Simon's a sadistic asshat."
I clear my throat, trying to dislodge the lump of centuries-old pain. "Eventually, I got fed up with being her blood-sucking puppet and pulled the ultimate 'uno reverse' card. Told her to cut me loose, or I'd punch my own ticket to the great beyond. Of course, she folded faster than a cheap lawn chair at the thought."
Seraphina gasps, her eyes wide with horror. "Oh, no, Lucian. You wouldn't have... you know...?"
"Kill myself?" I finish for her, watching her gulp and nod. "Back then? I was ready to swan dive into the great unknown. It was a horror show, sweetheart, and I wanted out of that toxic circus more than I wanted my next meal."
Her eyes, those gorgeous pools of honey, fill with worry and something that looks suspiciously like... care? For me? It's enough to make my heart do a little jig.
"So, she released you? What does that mean for you, now?"
I let out a laugh about as laughable as a funeral dirge. "She cut the puppet strings. Now I'm a real boy, Pinocchio style, minus the growing nose and the whole 'wanting to be human' schtick."
I take another swig of rum, letting it burn away the bitter aftertaste of memories. "It means I'm free to be the charming pain in the ass you see before you without any vampire mind-control shenanigans. No more 'Simon Says' from the bloodsucking bitch who turned me."
I shrug, trying to play it cool, but there's a hint of relief in my voice that I can't quite hide. "As for Erik and Rhyland, well, misery loves company, right? We're like the world's most dysfunctional boy band, brought together by thesame psycho manager. I'd bet my left fang their stories are about as pretty as a dumpster fire in a glitter factory."
I catch that giggle, but I'm not fooled. Her swirling gold eyes are like a mood ring; right now, they're screaming, "sad puppy." If she only knew the half of it... Hell, if she knew even a quarter of the shit I was forced to do, she'd probably sprout her wings and fly far, far away from this mess of a vampire.
But I'll be damned if I'm gonna taint my celestial snack cake with that level of fucked-up right now. No way am I unleashing that Pandora's box of horrors on her angelic ears. She doesn't need that kind of nightmare fuel.
So instead, I plaster on my best 'everything's peachy' grin. It's about as convincing as a dollar store toupee, but hey, I'm trying here.
"Oh, man. Talking about Lilith dredges up all kinds of fucked-up memories. Azrael and Paige…? Those sadistic bastards tried to pull the same shit on me. They wanted to mold me into their perfect little killing machine, just like Lilith."
It's like déjà vu all over again. I knew it was all kinds of wrong—hated every second of it, especially when they made me kill that poor girl.
I may not have had my memories, but I sure as hell had my conscience, and that shit didn't sit right with me.
Seraphina stiffens beside me, her grip on my arm tightening, "Azrael tried to…?
I nod, my jaw clenching at the thought. "Yeah. Fucker thought he could mold me into his own personal murder machine—joke's on him, though. Turns out, even with a case of supernatural amnesia, I'm still the same stubborn, rebellious bastard I've always been. But you know what? Fuck 'em. Fuck Lilith, fuck Azrael, and fuck anyone who tries to control me. I'm done being someone's plaything. I may be a vampire, but I'm nobody's bitch. Not anymore. I've spent centuries learning to be my own man, even if that man is a sarcastic, emotionally stunted work in progress. But hey, at least I'm a work in progress with a great ass and a killer sense of humor."
