Muffled footsteps announce Ahstahl and Aercek’s arrival back into my camp, and I raise my head out of my hands. I’m not sure what they see on my face, but both flinch in reaction. Ahstahl strides over and kneels in front of me, his pretty green eyes soft. Hesitantly, he reaches up, and when I don’t move or react, he wipes tears I didn’t know were there from my cheek.
“Keelie, surely Aercek and I didn’t upset you this much with our little tussle? Tell us what is wrong, so that we may fix it.”
A broken laugh escapes before I can stop it. “That’s just it, Ahstahl. This isn’t something you can fix.”
Ahstahl looks up at Aercek, and I realize he’s hovering over Ahstahl’s shoulder, his face full of confusion.
Aercek leans down, his face serious. “Does this have something to do with the faint scent of a human male clinging to you and your mention of a ’Wayne?’
My eyes widen in surprise. Wayne and I were married for almost two decades, but it’s been almost two years since he died, so I’m surprised they can still scent him on me.
“Wayne was my husband and died of cancer.”
Will they still want me now, knowing I belonged to another first? Knowing that they would always be second?
Both of them still, and I see Aercek’s face go slack in shock before he nudges Ahstahl out of the way and scoops me up into his arms, carrying me over to the spot they claimed beneath an oak tree. Sitting, he adjusts me in his lap, angling his huge set of markhor-esque horns to lean back, and waits for Ahstahl to settle next to him. To my surprise, Ahstahl maneuvers himself where his head is in my lap, his kudu-shaped horns pointed away, and peers up at me.
Waiting… but what is he waiting for?
Once Aercek starts talking, his voice heavy with old grief, I have the answer to my question.
“Ahstahl isn’t my firstfrater vinculum,and you’re not my firstanima tenetur.Many seasons ago, when I was young, I had others. Rahyk and I grew up together, as is usual for our species, and we met Luulae shortly after we reached maturity. Rahyk and I had barely sealed our bond with Luulae when they were both killed in a freak transporter accident. I was alone for many seasons until the gods saw fit to bond me with Ahstahl. Annoyingly perky frakyn male that he is.”
Ahstahl rolls his eyes at that comment, and I have to stifle a laugh. They really are polar opposites as far as personalities are concerned. Taking a second to process everything Aercek just told me, I choose my next words carefully.
“So, you understand loss and losing the ones that mean the most to you. Then the feeling of being utterly alone, even when you’re surrounded by others.”
Peering up at Aercek, I see him nod. “You are correct. After the accident, my family groupings tried to support me, but how could they truly understand my loss when all of them still possessed what they held most dear?”
Ahstahl’s wing extends and wraps around Aercek in a display of genuine fraternal love, before he speaks. “Just because I am not Aercek’s firstfrater, doesn’t make our bond less. It’s merely different. I’m not Rahyk, and I never will be, nor does Aercek long for me to be his lost brother. Wayne will always be your first, and my discovery of you made you mine second, but if you consent to our bond, you would be ours forever, little female.”
Aercek nods decisively at that. “Ahstahl is correct. It is much the same for you, Keelie. Neither of us will be your Wayne, nor would we ever try to replace him or the place he holds in your heart. But that doesn’t mean that we do not long to be loved by you and to love you in return.”
They’ve certainly given me a lot to think about.
Was it just this morning that I met them?
I can’t deny that something deep inside me is urging me to trust them and let them take care of me. However, I’ve never been someone to blindly trustanyone. Stroking Ahstahl’s snout, I’m surprised that the blend of scales and fur is far softer than I expected it to be. His eyes close, and his face becomes blissful as my fingers trail across him.
Aercek lowers his head, tucking his chin on my shoulder, his warmth soaking into me everywhere our bodies touch, and I relax into his embrace. Just for now.
I’m not sure how long we sit there together in silence, each of us consumed with our inner thoughts, but by the time I’ve made a decision, the fire has burned down to embers. The only light is that of the lantern next to my chair. Yawning, I give Ahstahl’s face one last pat and reach up to cup Aercek’s jaw.
“I’m not saying no, but considering I found out that aliens are real, survived being attacked by a bear, learned I’m y’all’s fated mate, Aercek’s second chance at having a mate, and dealing with the fact that y’all aren’t freaking human… my brain is fried and I need some sleep.”
Ahstahl lifts his head, and my lap grows cold with his absence. Aercek helps me get to my feet before he and Ahstahl stand, their massive bodies looming over me in the dark.
Any human in their right mind would be terrified right now, but I feel… protected. Like nothing in this world or any other could ever hurt me. Ahstahl smiles, and I don’t flinch this time when his teeth are exposed.
“That is more than fair, little Keelie, and all we are asking for is a chance to win your heart.”
Aercek solemnly agrees. “Your consent to our bond is a requirement. We will nevertakefrom you. We only wish to add to your life.”
Standing on my tiptoes, I reach up and cup each of their jaws in my hands. “Come back tomorrow, and I’ll feed y’all breakfast.”
Smiling at them, I turn and walk over to my tent, sealing up to the sight of them grinning like idiots.
Chapter 12
