“I mean, I’d happily take any of them, don’t get me wrong, but I’m aiming for the top spots,” he told her, stretching out on Evie’s bed beside her on one of their rare date nights just before Halloween. “Thorn hasn’t given a single hint about who’s in the lead for any other positions. He should really consider taking up playing cards; his poker face is legendary at the office.” He rolled over to face her. “And he’s either been giving you lessons, or they aren’t telling you anything either.”
Evie chuckled. In truth, Thorn hadn’t breathed a word to her about it; Tommy, on the other hand, was a completely different story. He liked to drop hints and clues, but they often contradicted each other, so she had given up trying to decipher them.
“Nope. When we told them we were seeing each other, that information superhighway shut down hard.”
Alex asked her to come to one of his therapy sessions in mid-November. After Evie told the therapist, a middle-aged man who kind of reminded her of one of her university professors, named Dr. Lewis, her side of what had happened when they were dating the first time, he asked Alex to leave the room so he could talk to her alone.
“So first of all, I want to let you know that Alex was sincere and upfront about what he did when you were together before. His stories matched yours pretty consistently, though he downplayed certain aspects, like how he pinned you to the bed and caused you pain to the point of tears. He deflected it by saying it scared you and made you cry. I now understand thatyes, he was scaring you, but he was also hurting you and ignoring it.”
He paused and checked his notes. “I think part of the problem you two had was that he didn’t give you all the information you needed in order to enter a dom and sub relationship with full consent. You said he gave you websites so you could look into it?”
“Yes.” Evie nodded. “And I did do some research on my own, but it was more to understand and explore the kinks I thought I might have.”
“Would you happen to still have those websites?”
“I couldn’t tell you their names now, but I’m sure I can find them,” Evie said after a moment of thought. “It would just take some digging on my old computer.”
“Would you mind doing that and sending them to me?” Dr. Lewis leaned over and picked up a card from the table next to the couch where Evie was sitting. “My email address is there.” He crossed his legs again and gave her a gentle smile. “But getting back to Alex not giving you all the information, did he explain that in a healthy relationship like that, the submissive sets the limits?”
“No.” She blinked and looked down at her hands as she tried to remember. “I mean, he told me he would always listen if I told him to stop…” She paused. “But what do you mean by that?”
“In a proper dominant and submissive relationship, the boundaries and rules are set by the submissive. That’s what creates trust. A dominant’s power comes entirely from the trust their partner chooses to give them.”
“If a dominant starts pushing past the limits his partner set, or gets carried away during a punishment session, thattrust erodes. What replaces it isn’t submission, it’s fear. And if he keeps going because he’s chasing his own pleasure without regard for yours, that isn’t dominance anymore. It’s abuse.”
Evie shifted uneasily. “Oh.” Her voice was small and hesitant as she absorbed that bombshell and tried to make it fit her experience with Alex. “I don’t think he wanted to abuse me.”
“No,” Dr. Lewis said gently. “What Alex did was harmful, but it wasn’t deliberate. What I see in his history is a young man who wanted to be a dominant before he understood what that meant.”
Evie drew a slow breath. “He made it sound like he’d been part of the community for a while.”
“He was,” Dr. Lewis confirmed with a small nod. “But his dominance was self-serving. He wanted the parts that excited him, the toys, the fantasies, the power exchange, and he ignored the foundational parts about consent hierarchy, negotiation, pacing, and emotional responsibility.”
She gave a humourless smile. “That doesn’t really surprise me.”
“The first several months of his therapy were spent unlearning what he thought dominance should be,” Dr. Lewis continued. “Alex came in believing dominance was something he performed. Something he did to someone. I had to help him understand that real dominance requires control, restraint, and patience. Not force. Not improvisation. Not fantasy.”
“Like when he ignored the safe word?” She leaned her head against the back of the couch and looked up at the ceiling, not wanting to meet the doctor’s calm gaze anymore.
“That was the moment he lost control. And his reaction afterward, the panic, the shame, the over-the-top apologies, tells me he was frightened he’d pushed you too far. He didn’t intendto ignore you. He simply didn’t have the emotional regulation or training to manage his arousal and maintain a scene safely.”
Evie looked down at her hands. “He kept promising he’d do better. And he would, for a little while.”
“And that inconsistency is exactly why it was so confusing for you,” Dr. Lewis said softly. “Good aftercare and praise don’t erase pain or fear. And they don’t excuse a pattern of losing control.”
She nodded; quietly grateful he’d put words to what she couldn’t articulate at the time.
“What matters,” Dr. Lewis went on, “is that he recognizes this now. His remorse wasn’t manipulation. It was immaturity, guilt, and a lack of tools. He underestimated how much structure he needed to be safe with a submissive. You were inexperienced, and he didn’t know how to lead someone entirely new to this world.”
“You were not the problem,” Dr. Lewis reassured her, firm but calm. “Alex led you to believe he had a skill set he didn’t have. And you were doing what new submissives do, you trusted him to know the rules.”
“Alex understands all of this now,” he added gently. “He knows why things went wrong. He knows why you were afraid. And if the two of you choose to try again, it will be at your pace, with structure, with clear boundaries, and with ongoing check-ins with me.”
Evie hesitated, her hands twisting slightly in her lap. “I honestly don’t know if I’m ready for anything yet,” she admitted. “Not with him. Not with anyone.” She drew in a slow breath. “But I do know I don’t want to make the same mistakes again. I don’t want to rely on someone else to tell me what’s safe and what isn’t.”
“I want to understand it for myself,” she said, feeling a spark of confidence as the decision settled into place. “All of it. The psychology, the rules, what healthy dynamics actually look like.”
“That makes perfect sense,” Dr. Lewis said warmly. “And it’s a very healthy instinct.”
