Well, shit.Believing he had somewhere better to go had reassured me. I hoped Miguel was right, that I’d have asked him to stay if I’d known that wasn’t true, but it was hard to think back to that swirling morass of guilt and yeah, blame. “Were you okay? You found work?” I realized I cared a lot that he hadn’t struggled like Austin did.
“Yeah. Had a couple of tough months, started drinking too much. But you can’t work around horses drunk, so I pulled my ass together. I did some rodeo, won a prize or two, and met a woman who bred saddle broncs. Her top wrangler had busted his shoulder and ribs coming off a bull, and she took me on. That job led to another. I’m training cutting horses now.”
“I’m glad. That’s what you always wanted.”
“Yep.” He chuckled. “Got me a boyfriend too, if you can believe it. Not a jealous bone in his body. We fuck who we want, as long as we come home to each other. It works for us.”
“I’m glad,” I repeated, though I couldn’t imagine truly loving a man that way.
“What about you?”
“Huh?”
“Who’s the guy?” Miguel laughed when I said nothing. “Come on, you didn’t suddenly decide to reconnect out of thin air. I bet there’s a guy. Am I wrong?”
“No,” I admitted. “He’s… a temporary hand, might come back next summer. He’s not like you.”
“A good thing too. I wasn’t who you wanted. You wanted a guy to take care of, maybe order around a bit, and spoil rotten. You backed off when I told you to, but I wasn’t that guy. Is he?”
I thought about Austin, his careful hands and lush mouth, the way he listened to me, the way he settled in my arms. “Could be.”
“Then hang onto him,” Miguel told me. “You deserve someone good, you hear me? Whatever we did or didn’t do back then is water under the bridge. You’re a good man, Seth Grant, and you deserve a guy who can appreciate that.”
I forced, “Thanks,” through my tight throat.
“Don’t be a stranger. Send me a picture when you get engaged.”
I choked a laugh.
Miguel said, “Hey, it’s 2013 and you Californians just made gay marriage legal, not like us here in New Mexico. Take advantage.”
“I don’t think Austin and I are close to there yet,” I told him.
Miguel chuckled. “Sure. But when you are, I want to see this Austin, see if he’s good enough for you.”
“It’s the other way around,” I said.
“Then I’m happy for you. Take care, Seth.”
“Bye.”
I stared down at my phone as the call dropped.
Miguel was okay, happy, working a job he loved, and it didn’t sound like he blamed me for driving him off the Star & Bar, eight years ago. Another piece of the guilt and anger I’d carried so long fell away.
Miguel was happy, and Austin was okay, safe, even if he was working in crappy retail and living in a dump. I could call Austin now and hear his voice, anytime I needed to.
“Wow,” I murmured, a smile crossing my face. “All right, then.”
I stuck my phone in my pocket and left the barn, feeling lighter than I had in a long, long time.
Chapter 13
Austin
“Here, let me get that down for you.” I lifted a framed print off the display wall and propped it up on the counter for the customer to look at.
“Wow, that cowboy looks just like you,” she said.
