I pulled the hotter plate out, started the second one, and chewed on my lower lip. Things had been so easy between us and I’d fucked it up. Seth was gone long enough for me to set the plates on the table, fill water glasses, and wonder whether he was actually coming back. I perched on my chair and stared at the steaming plate in front of me, regretting my big mouth, until Seth returned at last with an open laptop.
“There.” He set the screen where we both could see the slightly grainy image of the cow standing in her stall. She looked quiet, merely shifting her weight slowly from one back foot to the other.
“Not happening yet,” I said. “You want me to rewarm your food?”
“I’m fine.” Seth sat kitty-corner from me where I’d left his plate and forked up some chicken.
We ate in a silence that wasn’t comfortable. The strain showed in Seth’s hands, the way he fidgeted with his fork as he ate. He kept his gaze on the little screen, like that sleepy cow was the most fascinating thing on the planet.
I scraped my plate clean because, no matter the ball of regret in my stomach, food was food.
“You want something more?” Seth asked, pushing his plate aside. “I bet there’s cookies. Davis likes to bake.”
“I’ve never said no to cookies.” Right then, I’d have said yes to anything he suggested. “Let me clear the table.”
After cleanup, we migrated to the great room with the laptop on the coffee table and a box of cinnamon cookies between us. Seth fiddled with the remote for the TV, but didn’t switch it on. I stuffed a cookie into my mouth.
“Okay, so.” Seth clicked a button, and a commercial blared at us from the screen. “Oops.” He switched off the sound. The colors flickered across his face. I watched him, not the dancing sponge on the TV.
“You don’t have to tell me anything,” I said. “I owe you a whole lot, not the reverse. I didn’t mean to push.”
“You probably should know, if you’re staying a week. People might mention…” He frowned down at his hands, then set the remote on the table and stared off into space. “I was with a guy here, for a while. As boyfriends, I mean. We met when Kendrick hired him as a seasonal hand. Miguel was…” Seth shook his head and huffed a laugh. “He was something else. He did the gay rodeo circuit, bronc riding, and he was never one to hide, you know? Wicked laugh, bright black eyes, body like an athlete,which I guess he was. Made it to the World Gay Rodeo Finals once. I’d never been with a man like that.”
I felt an ugly flash of jealousy I had no right to. I stuffed another cookie into my mouth and nodded.
“Don’t know what he saw in me,” Seth mused. “I wasn’t much older than him, but I was boring, in the closet and planning to stay there. He wouldn’t let me. Said we were too good together to hide it.” Seth closed his eyes and tipped his head back.
“Is he dead?” I whispered.
“Huh? No. There was an accident. Not involving Miguel, or only indirectly, but a young hand named Zachary got hurt bad. When the dust cleared, well, Miguel and I split up. He was training horses, last I heard. I haven’t looked for his name in a while.”
The pain on Seth’s face suggested he wasn’t over Miguel. I wanted to find the guy and shake him hard for ditching a man I already respected a hell of a lot, except I was selfishly glad Miguel was gone and Seth was here. “Sorry,” I offered.
“Yeah, wasn’t a good time. Anyway, Davis, Kendrick, Tiffany, and John were all around to see me kissing Miguel. Colby signed on later, but I’m sure he’s heard about it. No one’s going to give you a hard time here for being queer.”
“Good to know—” I stopped, staring at the laptop screen. “Hey, looks like Ebony might be starting.” The cow was down in the straw, her head turned to watch her butt. I couldn’t tell if she was having a contraction or not.
Seth leaned closer. “Right. Let’s throw the clothes in the dryer and head over to the barn.”
When we stepped onto the front porch, a gust of wind drove heavy snow into my face. “Holy shit.” I stared into the darkness. “Wasn’t this supposed to come after midnight?”
“Yeah.” Seth frowned. “I’ll call the guys up at Mama’s once we’re in the barn, tell them to head back now.”
We forged across the yard through at least five inches of new snow on top of the old, with the wind blowing drifts and valleys, and stinging our faces. Seth wrestled the barn door open for me, then let it blow shut behind us and flipped on the overhead lights. “Wow, that’s really coming down.” He pulled out his cell phone and hit a contact, then tried again. “Fuck. No bars. What about yours?”
I waved my empty hand in the air.
“Oh. Crap. We should’ve called them from the house on the landline. Well, Mama’s has windows so hopefully they can see the storm coming in.” Seth stuck his phone away in a pocket and stamped the snow off his boots. “Let’s check up on our girl.”
The cats came to greet us as we walked down the aisle, winding through our ankles and trying to trip us. “Should we bring them inside the cabin?” I asked. “With the storm and all?”
Seth paused to pet Garfield. “No, they have a heated bed box in the feed room. Heated water dish too, and they’re too smart to go out in a snowstorm.” He nudged Mimi aside. “Move your furry butts, kitties. We have a cow to take care of.”
Ebony was down in her straw, clearly in labor. Seth fetched plastic gloves from the feed room and did some kind of exam on her back end. “Looking good,” he said when he straightened. “Hooves and a nose coming. We just need to give her time.”
He backed out of the stall, and we watched over the door.
Ahwan nickered to us from down the aisle, banging her empty feed bucket.
