“I want to.” Somehow, that last time I saw Dad didn’t feel like it could be real. Maybe talking about it would help. “I asked him why he took my money. Those were my wages, over a year of work at a real man’s job. He said, ‘Yeah, but ranching didn’t make a real man out of you, did it?’”
“Shit,” Seth whispered.
“Dad told me I was going to apply to a Basic Academy Training program, and he’d dole out my money when I needed it. Peace Officer training would fix me up. Hah, what a laugh, calling someone like him a peace officer.” I dragged in a sharp breath. “I told him no. I don’t think I’d ever said a flat no to Dad before. I said I had no interest in becoming a deputy and I was going back to the ranch. He said, ‘No, you’re not. You’ll do as you’re told.’ I said I was eighteen now. He didn’t own me.”
“Brave of you.”
“I was shaking. I don’t know where the nerve came from. I think I knew I had to do it then, get away from him before it was too late. He jumped up, started yelling at me, foul shit about how I was probably letting this gay ranch hand fuck me up the ass and he was going to beat the queer out of me. He picked up his chair and swung at me. Could’ve cracked my skull if he’d connected. I ran.”
“Good thing you were able to get to your truck.”
I laughed damply. “No, I didn’t own a truck. Dad let me drive his car to work. He had the cruiser. I ran on foot, but Dad wasn’t in as good shape as me. I competed track in school because it was the only sport I was good at. He gave up pretty quick, probably figured I couldn’t get out of town with no car and no money. So then…” I paused.
“You don’t have to tell me what you did. Whatever it was, you survived and got away. That’s what counts.”
“Nothing bad. I would’ve, if I’d had to. I told this gay cowboy I worked with, Joe, that I’d go down to Max’s bar and suck dicks for money to buy a bus ticket, but he gave me his truck instead. Said I’d be better off with something of my own. Sold it to me for a dollar, paid for a tank of gas and some money besides, and wished me luck.”
I should’ve listened when Joe’d said not to run to San Francisco, but tonight, even broke and still hungry, I couldn’t regret my choices. Here in the dark, warm in Seth’s bed, with a man like Seth listening to me, was the safest I’d ever felt.
“Gave you a truck? Were you, uh, together?”
“No, Joe wasn’t interested in me that way.” Sadly. “But he knew and hated my dad, and he was kind of my mentor. He helped me escape.”
I think I like this Joe guy,” Seth muttered.
“Yeah, he’s the best. I hope my dad didn’t find out and give him a hard time.” I sighed, exhaustion seeping into me. “I left my phone behind. Dad had a tracking app on it anyway. Maybe one day, I’ll… I’ll tell Joe what that old truck meant.”
“You do that.”
My body wanted to melt into the mattress, sink deep to the center of the earth. I felt heavy as lead, but my muscles twitched and trembled.
I jumped when Seth’s hand landed on my shoulder. He said nothing, just rubbed my back through my flannel shirt in small,firm circles. Slowly, my twitches and shudders eased. I fell asleep between one shaky breath and the next.
Chapter 6
Seth
I lay awake for a long time after Austin’s breathing smoothed out into sleep. I was playing with fire and I knew it, but couldn’t stop. What was I supposed to do? Let Austin freeze to death? Make him squeeze onto my inadequate couch?
Maybe not take him into your bed, smelling fresh from a shower, and let him trauma-dump on you?
Except he’d clearly needed to tell someone. I hadn’t had to twist his arm much at all. Anger coursed through my blood over his father. I wanted to go find the asshole and punch his face in. Probably not feasible, since I wasn’t a fighter. Probably not smart either, especially since the guy was a cop, but he shouldn’t be allowed to get away with stealing his son’s money and hurting him.
I breathed through my nose and forced my fists to relax. The man was three states back and out of Austin’s life. Maybe oneday, we’d get his money back, but for now, the only logical thing was looking forward.
Which meant I was hoping for a few days working right next to the first guy to really make me care since Miguel.
They were nothing alike. Well, dark hair and wiry build, but Miguel had been all fire and sass and sensuality. He knew his appeal and used it. Not in a bad way, but nothing like the wide-eyed innocence of Austin.
And for all his confidence, Miguel had still ended in disaster. I needed to keep my distance from Austin. He was way too young for me anyhow.
I didn’t let myself think about the irony ofkeep my distanceas Austin snored softly in my bed, his thigh inches from my knee. I could do this. Keep it simple. Help a guy out and send him on his way better than I found him. Some tiny penance for what happened last time.
Eventually, I drifted off. I’d wondered if Austin might have nightmares, but if he had, they were silent ones. My alarm going off at six woke me from a deep sleep.
“Whaaa?” Austin flailed, whacking my shoulder with the back of his hand as he bolted upright. He sat blinking, blue eyes wide and bleary, his short hair sticking up at the back from sleeping on it wet.
“Rise and shine, kiddo. Horses don’t like to wait.” I’d decided, while failing to sleep, that calling him a kid would be a good reminder, even if it pissed him off. Maybe even better if it pissed him off.
