Well, I can certainly give a sermon on that shit, I think to myself as I continue running my hand through her hair. Delaney’s not a horrid crier, but that just makes it worse in some ways. Staring at the ceiling, I hum a soft tune to myself as blood drums sluggishly in my ears.
Hating myself. . . I have a lot of experience with that.
CHAPTER2
DELANEY
“I’ll contact you with my decision next week,” I say as I show some nameless face to the door of my office, and I fight a groan as I shut myself inside. Rubbing my forehead with the back of my palm, I shake out my arms and head roughly. “That’s the last one. Thank God.”
“I gotta say, Delaney. I’m enjoying being a subordinate,” My eyelids fly open, and I glower at Baron as he grins at me from his chair across from my desk. Holding up a thin tablet, he chuckles lightly. “So? What’d you think? Are any of them assistant material?” I don’t know how I talked him into letting me do this. I stare at the huge pile of paperwork on my desk and remember instantly. Sure, I need help but do I really need to hire a whole assistant?
“Erh, I definitely didn’t like that guy,” I point behind me warily through the door, and Baron nods firmly. Walking over to the chair next to his, I drop heavily and rub my face with my palms. “Why’re you making me do this again? I don’t need an assistant, Baron.”
“You were here until midnight last night,” Baron points out, and I stiffen, glancing over at him. I didn’t think he’d remember that. He frowns at me disapprovingly. “You can’t keep on like this, love. You get an assistant. End of story. Working is fine, Delaney, but working yourself half to death is most definitely not fine.”
“I have employees.” I combat, and Baron rolls his eyes with a slight scoff. Irritation heats my face.
“You have people who do the end-work for you. You’d set the entire ballroom up if you had the opportunity. You’d wait the damned event if I gave you the chance. No,” Baron shakes his head. “You’ll hire someone, Delaney, or I’ll hire someone for you. You can’t say ‘no’ to every single person who walks in that door simply because they walked through it, love.”
Pursing my lips, my mouth dries at the firm tone thickening Baron’s voice. He won’t let this go. And a tiny part of me knows he’s right. I can’t keep going at the pace I am. Looking over at the ominous stack of papers on my desk, I heave a sigh of defeat. “Fine. I. . . kinda liked that woman. Jennifer. . . what’s her name?”
“I figured you’d like her,” Baron replies knowingly, a slight smirk on his face before I turn away petulantly. He chuckles, and I stand up to walk around my desk to grab my purse from the bottom drawer. “I’ll handle the rest, love. You have your therapy appointment today, right?”
“Um, aye, but I have to leave a little early,” I admit, glancing at my phone so I don’t have to look at Baron. Guilt claws at my throat. Skipping work. . . for what? Ah! “It’s just a checkup. Nothing serious. Then, I go to the therapist, and I should be back just after lunch.”
“You know, it wouldn’t besmirch your name to take the rest of the day off and get some rest, even if you don’t sleep, love,” Baron says, only the thinnest thread of humor in his tone. I shoulder my purse, frowning at him as indecision wars in my chest. It sounds like a good idea but surely I couldn’t do that. Could I?
“Should I tell you to leave for the day? Would that make it easier?”
“A little,” I answer honestly, and Baron’s expression becomes long with surprise. He clearly wasn’t expecting me to take him up on his offer, and I gulp harshly. “I don’t know what to do. Working is. . . an immense relief, and I don’t want to stop and risk getting dragged back down.”
“That’s fine. Go to your appointments and come back tomorrow, then,” Baron says swiftly, smiling warmly at me before standing up with a huff. He’s still as handsome as the day we met; maybe, even moreso now that I’ve gotten to know him. Nothing about him is threatening. . . and I’ve never questioned his intentions. “You’ve done enough, love. Sitting through those God awful interviews is more than enough.”
Baron chuckles, and I smile tightly. My stomach churns at the idea of being left alone with myself for so long. Walking to the door, I open the barrier before shutting the lights off. He leaves first, and I lock up on my way out. “I’ll see you tomorrow then, Baron.”
“Call me if you need me, Delaney.” He replies before we part ways. Sauntering deeper down the employee’s floor, he knocks on a door before disappearing through it. I finally take a breath, exhaling through stinging nostrils.
The journey down to the first floor and through the lobby is swift, and I suddenly find myself outside. Taking a deep breath in, my lungs are on fire. My heart races, and a cold sweat breaks out under my clothes. Fishing my phone out of my purse, I fight the tightness in my throat.
“Doctor first, then therapist, then. . . I don’t know what’s after that,” I mutter to myself as I walk down the narrow streets of central London. Looking around, I try not to lose myself in the immensity of the city around me. The many different ailments I can have start to filter through my mind like a kaleidoscope. Anxiety eats at me as I suddenly feel every last ache and pain. A sharp quick pain at my temple causes me to rub at it with my fingertips.“I hope I don’t have a brain tumor or something. Spending so long in Switzerland. . . maybe something was in the chocolate.”
I scoff and shake my head. There’s nothing about Switzerland that I didn’t like, but I’d rather not go back. Wandering down the street, I let my mind stray in a different direction.
Luna and Bran were coming back from touring Europe. I need to not be a mess for that. I offered to host dinner, and excitement pumps weakly into my system at the notion. Ever since they left, I hadn’t cooked much for myself, let alone enjoyed cooking the way I used to. I take a turn one way while my thoughts go the other.
I’d thought of inviting Baron, but that would make things so. . . concrete. This thing going on between us wouldn’t be controlled anymore. There are so many stories about people trying to keep their personal life out of work, but I’m doing the exact opposite. Baron and I had been together for months, but what’s come of it? An occasional sneak-away into an empty hotel room? Taking peeks at each other from across rooms?
I need more. Ice lodges in my chest at the notion, and I pause mid-step to stare at a crack in the sidewalk. More. . . what is more?
“Hmm,” I hum to myself, shaking my head before starting on my way. “I cannae think about it right now.”
My general practitioner’s office is only a few blocks from the hotel, and I step into the waiting room on the ground floor. There’s a few people waiting, but none spare me a glance on my way to the receptionist desk. I sign in swiftly, shuffling to sit in a chair with my purse in my lap.
Playing a mindless game on my phone while I wait, my stomach gurgles dangerously. Maybe, Baron is right, and the stress of working so hard is getting to me? Bran and Luna are coming back after three months abroad. It could be that, too.
I heave out another sight as I look away from my phone, the game no longer holding my attention. I can’t pinpoint the problem because everything is the problem. It’s just everything. Everything. . . is overwhelming. I fight a sigh, trying to hold my phone in weak hands. Setting the device on my purse, I rub and flex my palms harshly. My fingers are stiff as I curl them. The smell of the waiting area begins to make me woozy, and I bite my bottom lip hard as my throat tightens.
Memories dog the edges of my mind’s eye, trying to burst through and suck me back. Of being in that wretched hospital in Seattle. Of being prodded and questioned and stared at. The blood drains from my face, and my eyes sting. I force myself to blink before the loud ringing in my ears dies down suddenly. Glancing up at the receptionist as she holds the door open, staring at me expectantly, I suck in a sharp breath.
