I hear muffled talking outside and hurry stark naked to the door, placing my ear against the wood to listen. It sounds like Massimo met someone on the stairs leading down to the main room. Though I can’t understand his words, he sounds at ease. Happy.
Unlike the state he was in when he left my room.
And then I hear a woman reply. She laughs, and it’s the most heart-wrenching sound I’ve heard in my life. She’s laughing at me, I know she is.
Jealousy rears its ugly head and I realize I’ve made a huge mistake. He’s seeing someone else. He told me he doesn’t believe in love but that was a lie: he loves someone else.
I can’t believe I was stupid enough to sleep with him.
I thought we were forming some kind of connection but it was just my body betraying me. I gave him my first kiss years ago and now I handed him my virginity on a silver platter. What the hell. I’ve been too busy thinking with my hormones, not my head.
The mystery woman laughs again.
What the fucking hell!
Oh, I hate her. I hate Massimo’s woman with all my heart and soul. I hate Massimo, too. That betraying bastard.
Now I understand why he doesn’t want to drop his plans. Because he already has a woman.
He’s been toying with me all along.
I’m so angry, I feel like ripping this room to pieces. But that will only exhaust me. I need to conserve my energy and think. Because I need to escape now more than ever.
They’re no longer laughing out there, I notice. No, it sounds like they’re arguing now. Maybe he let slip he slept with me. And she isn’t too happy.
Well join the club, bitch.
When the talking ends I place my back against the door and slide down to the floor, wallowing in self pity.
Sitting there, completely naked, I feel like such a slut. So dirty. I stare at the drying blood and cum on my inner thigh in disgust.
What have I done?
I think about Mamma’s death. I can’t help it. I don’t know why. I guess it’s a reminder of what my future with Massimo would be like. She never had to deal with mistresses, but she did have to die a violent death because of her marriage to a mobster. So I can’t say I envy this woman who has Massimo’s heart.
God, he’s so disgusting. I can’t feel anything, let alone respect, for a man who would cheat on his woman.
Yes, I need to come up with a plan to escape. I don’t know why I haven’t been trying harder. Actually, I do, because I didn’t know the truth. If I had, I would have never let him distract me, or touch me.
Ah! I could scream!
Maybe this was all part of his plan to pull the wool over my eyes so that I wouldn’t try to get away. Well, he’s going to be in for a surprise. Nothing he said to me was true. All lies and insincerity.
Anything I ever felt for him is gone. The Massimo I once knew died eight years ago. I wonder if what he said about my father is even true. Probably not. Massimo probably tore away the pendant himself and threw it over the fence of my estate. Yup, I’m sure of it.
I get up and rush to the shower, wanting to wash away all memory of his touch. I want to erase his mark, too—the cum, the blood.
As I frantically scour myself I think on how to escape. I remember what he said: “There are no cameras here.” I can use that. Definitely use that.
I visualize the window and the distance to the ground. I wonder if there’s anything in the room I can use to climb down. For some reason I think of the bed. Would it be possible to form a rope out of the sheets? I think I saw something like that in a movie once. But that’s Hollywood for you: half the things you see in movies are completely false. Like love.
I wonder if knotted sheets would even be able to hold my weight. Then again, I’m hardly what anyone would describe as heavy. I have to try, at least.
But first, Massimo said he’d bring me more food, so I’ll wait for that, since it could take me a while to get those sheets ready. I could use the energy, anyway.
I think about when we were lying together on the bed, and I was eating the arancini balls. I was basking in the afterglow of sex, thinking about how much I liked him, the kidnapper-captive dynamic forgotten. I should have never opened up to him.
I do finally scream then and it feels so damn good.
