Through it all I’m taken back by the unreality of it all. I almost can’t believe her soft lips are finally pressed against mine. She isn’t the first girl I’ve kissed, but she’s the only one I’ve ever truly wanted.
It’s over all too soon.
She pulls away and says: “I should get back.”
“Stay with me,mia tesoro,” I tell her. My treasure. “On the beach.”
She shakes her head. “I want to. But I’m not ready.”
I frown. “I’m not going to abandon you, if that’s your worry.”
“I know you won’t,” she says. “I’m just not ready.”
“If you’re not ready, then why did you give me this?” I indicate the pendant at my neck.
She sighs. “Massimo, please be patient with me. I’m… scared.”
I’m about to argue with her, to tell her she doesn’t have to be scared, that I’ll go slow and guide her all the way, but I back down. I know she’s not just talking about sex, but the consequences of any relationship we might have. Because of who her family is, things are complicated…
“Another night, then. I can wait.”
She smiles. “Thank you for understanding.”
“No, thankyou,” I tell her. I lean forward to kiss her a second time. Once more, what starts out as a gentle peck quickly turns into an all-out tonsil hockey session, our lips pressed roughly together, our tongues intertwined, and our hands groping up and down our backs.
But this time I’m the one who breaks away first. It’s one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. I want to ravish her, pound her until she screams my name into the night, but I also don’t want to hurt her.
“You’re not ready,” I remind her.
Her hands are shaking and her breath comes in ragged rasps. Shivering, she nods slowly and whispers: “I almost got swept away.”
“Let’s go,” I tell her, and start walking before I change my mind. It would be so easy to take her right here on the beach where countless other couples have made love beneath the stars. At this point, with her body overcome with the passion of the moment, not to mention those raging teen hormones, she’d probably let me.
But I won’t allow myself, as badly as I want her. It’s strange… I’ve never felt this way about someone before. I’ve always been the selfish one, putting myself and my pleasure above whoever I was with, but with her I actually respect her feelings. I’m setting myself up for disappointment, probably, but I can’t help it.
I’m careful not to hold her hand as we return. I don’t want to bring either of us to the precipice again—I’m not sure I’ll be able to hold back this time.
I touch the necklace she’s given me and remind myself she’s mine.
“We should run away together,” she blurts suddenly.
I look at her beneath the moonlight. There’s an earnestness to her expression that gets to me. “We will.”
“Really?”
I give her an encouraging smile. “Someday.”
I escort her back to the villa and we climb the orange tree to the top of the stone wall. I take her all the way back to her second floor window and kiss her one last time. It’s a chaste kiss—after only a moment we both pull back. It’s easier this time because we know we’re in the wolf’s nest.
“Until next time,” I tell her quietly.
“Next time,” she agrees.
I sneak down the terracotta roof tiles until I reach the edge. I pause to wave at Angela, who’s still watching from her window, then lower myself onto the barrel.
When I leap to the cobblestone below I hear the footsteps of a coming patrol.
Fuck!
