I hadn’t been able to go, stuck as I am in the hospital.
“Michela was there,” Luciano says, his mind still elsewhere. “Crying like a baby.”
“Luigi’s daughter?” I ask.
Luciano nods.
That endears her to me a little. I understand now all the little furtive glances they used to share whenever I saw them together. I never thought anything of it at the time, but it’s obvious they had a crush upon one another. I’ll never know if they acted on it, because I’ll never ask her. Not that it matters now. Nothing does.
Stefano leans forward. “How long do you have to undergo rehabilitation therapy?”
I shake my head. “No idea. My physiotherapist doesn’t know, either. She’s clueless. I still can’t walk, or even get up off this bed. I’m worried I’m going to have tubes stuck up my ass for the rest of my life.”
“You can do this,” Stefano says. “You’re a Moretti.”
I give him a wan look. “I used to think that stood for something. That we were strong together… that we could never die as long as we were together. And yet I was with Matteo when the time came and I couldn’t protect him. There was nothing I could do. Hell, I don’t even remember what the fuck happened.”
“It’s not your fault,” Stefano says.
“If it’s really not, why do you keep saying that?” I ask. “Why do you all keep saying it?” When none of them answers, I add: “Fuck this.”
I’ve been watching the nurses and I’ve figured out how to lower the bars that hem me in on both sides of the bed. I put them down and try to swing my legs over so I can stand.
Luciano sits up stiffly. “Maybe you should wait for the nurse.”
“At least let me help,” Stefano says, standing.
“Fuck off,” I tell him when he tries to put a hand under my arm. The tubes connected to my body twist as I reposition myself, and I know there’s a good chance I’ll rip some of them out, but I don’t give a shit at the present moment.
I swing my legs over the edge and shove off.
My feet can’t hold my weight and I crumple.
But Roberto and Luciano are there to catch me.
They reposition me back onto the bed. I look at them, feeling grateful to them for being there, and I tear up.
They’re too good to me. I don’t deserve this.
“Even if you can never walk again, we’ll hold you up, every step of the way,” Stefano says.
Luciano glances at him. “He’ll fucking walk again. Don’t you talk like that.”
“But you heard the nurse…”
Luciano’s glower deepens. “I don’t give a shit what the nurse said, he’ll walk.”
Stefano bites his lower lip and nods.
“I must have missed what the nurse said,” I say dangerously.
Luciano gazes at me for a moment, seeming unsure whether to tell me. Finally he says: “It’s not important. You’ll walk.”
I can tell he’s hiding something. The doctors and nurses think I’m going to be a cripple for the rest of my life.
Maybe they’re right.
“Roberto, I need you to go to my room at the villa,” I tell him. “In the chest at the base of my bed you’ll find a bag of cocaine. Bring it to me.”
