“I just need time to think,” he said.
It was shocking to me that an audible gulp couldn’t be heard when I swallowed at that statement. It had resolve behind it—passion even. Time to think. To think about me? To think about us?
Just what were you thinking, Gianni Cavetti.
“Okay,” I said weakly. “I’ll go get your coffee.”
“I’ll pass on the coffee for today,” he said. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
That was definitive, but I tried not to let it break me. There was something more about me turning in Gianni’s head. He was definitely about to kiss me, and the hold he still had on my arm was burning. If he needed time to think, especially if there was any hope that those thoughts would lead him down a path that would bring his lips back to mine, I’d give him all the time he needed.
“Tomorrow,” I said with hope hanging on the edge of the word. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
9
Gianni
Sleep was not a luxury I was afforded that night. For days, I’d been a wreck, wondering why my eyes went to Philippa when Lucia was so close to me. My father had given me a promise on a silver platter—pull off his plans, and I could have her. The woman I’d always wanted.
Why did I suddenly want someone else?
Philippa was precious to me, she always had been. In a world where I believed really and truly that the only woman I would ever love was Lucia Bonifacio, unexpectedly, my brain refused to leave Philippa. She’d come into my life unexpectedly, she’d become my friend unexpectedly, and now, it would seem, I’d developed feelings for her unexpectedly.
If someone already loves someone so dearly as a friend, and then starts to want more, wouldn’t that make these feelings love as well? But how could it? I didn’t see it coming. It happened without my permission. I didn’t pine for Philippa or steer my heart in her direction. How was I adrift in a sea with nothing but her? How did I get there?
Was I falling in love with Philippa?
When she stood before me, weeping as I held something back from her, I realized all at once that she was more important to me than anything else in my life. It wasn’t that I wanted to keep the secret from her, it was that I couldn’t bring myself to admit that our days were suddenly numbered. My father wanted even my own siblings to believe I’d been killed. He wanted their allegiance to a brother they barely knew to be the basis for a coup against the Bonifacios. For them to believe they’re avenging my death by doing my father’s bidding with that family and starting his rise to the top.
My “death” was a month away.
In that much time, I’d have to leave Philippa behind and I would never see her again. It broke my heart as I realized it and I couldn’t bring myself to tell her.
My god.
Iwasfalling in love with Philippa.
“Mr. Cavetti?” Alegna’s voice called from the door and I sat upright. She normally didn’t come until after I’d already left my room for breakfast, and Philippa made it seem the day before like she was done accompanying her to my room. Did I frighten Philippa? Had things changed?
“Yes, Alegna, come in,” I called back.
The door opened and I wasn’t sure what the emotion was that ground in my gut when I saw Philippa at Alegna’s side. Her head was down and she looked embarrassed as she stood just behind a still sick looking Alegna. “Sir. I heard that there was a problem yesterday with your shirt and Philippa being on her own here. I apologize, we may have jumped the gun.”
My eyes landed on Philippa. Why had she told Alegna any of that? I wouldn’t have let on at all that there was a problem. “No. It was an accident.”
“I heard it was an accident, but we don’t have room to make errors,” Alegna said. “I’ll continue to accompany Philippa this week and we’ll start again with her on her own next week.”
Shit.
I was actually hoping to talk things out with Philippa. Get a sense of how she was feeling after what had happened the night before, but we were back to being chaperoned. To make things worse, Philippa wouldn’t even look up at me, and instead immediately started work doing everything that Alegna was instructing her to do.
As Alegna worked her way into the closet, Philippa slid into the bathroom and began cleaning. Alegna seemed distracted enough so I poked my head into the bathroom. As soon as I did, Philippa's cleaning got a little more erratic as a blush rose to her face. I too was heating up at the sight of her. Remembering how close I'd come to kissing her and having opened the floodgates of my own feelings. I wished I hadn't stopped short.
Thinking backward, I tried to pinpoint the exact moment my feelings started to change. When did I start anticipating seeing her at the beginning of all my days or thinking about her last before going to bed at night? I was so blinded by our friendship that I didn't notice my heart shifting towards something else. I owed it to Lucia for helping me see clearly.
"What?" Philippa asked, sensing my stare.
"Why did you tell Alegna what happened?" I asked.
