“That’s what he said, too, but I don’t see it.”
“Good. I’m sure he’s not proud of who he was, but at least he grew out of it. Carlyle’s always going to be a heartless, cruel asshole. The only reason he gave in is because his father is even more a cruel bastard than he is.” As he spoke, I fiddled with my engagement ring, and my frown darkened as the crease between my brows deepened. “Is that guy a loser?”
“He’s an ambitious, stingy gentleman.” The scrubs a nurse had been so nice to give to me rustled as I stood up, and I shook my head. “I’m gonna go see Mateo before I leave.”
Walking away from the nurse’s station, I knocked on Mateo’s door gently, and his muffled call to enter eased some of the tension between my shoulders. I stepped into the room, and he was stuffing a battered onion ring into his mouth and froze when he saw me. He’d trimmed his scruff, and I blinked to capture the image of him sitting on the bed in just a towel, cramming his face. My throat tightened, and I clenched my jaw hard when he gulped down his bite without really chewing.
“Lucy, hey, what’s up?” Clearing his throat, Mateo sat back as I perched on the foot of his bed, and I pulled up my legs to sit cross-legged. “I thought you’d be gone by now. What time is your cab supposed to be here?”
“Pretty soon.” The atmosphere became somber, and Mateo’s lips twisted in something between a smile and a grimace. “I-I came to say goodbye. I was hoping . . . I was hoping maybe I could convince you to come visit me sometime. You don’t have to come to Tennessee—”
“Lucy, I don’t think that’s a good idea.” Discomfort and sadness thickened his tone, and my heart stuttered painfully as Mateo sighed heavily. “You should go home and try to forget everything that happened. Lie to yourself until you believe it.”
“What if I can’t forget?” No, I didn’t want to forget, and I probably never would. Mateo wasn’t responsible for what happened, but he was the reason I got through it with minimal scarring.Because he has all the scars that were meant for me.His cheek twitched as the silence stretched into a still void, and I wrung my hands in my lap in distress.
Did Mateo blame himself for my getting snatched after work? Did he blame himself for me agreeing to overtime, and being in the wrong place at the wrong time? A gaping hole opened up in my chest when he just sat there, quiet, not looking at me, and I managed a shuddering, shallow breath.
“If you’re ever in Jackson, Tennessee, look me up.” Cold slithered to wrap around my bones and infect every part of me as I sluggishly stood up, but Mateo didn’t answer. Leaving his room, I leaned heavily on the door as tears clogged my throat and nose completely and leaked from my eyes.
Why? What was I supposed to do, now? Get in a cab that’ll drive me ten hours to my house? And when I got home, I was going to just ignore everything that happened in the last nine days?
What if I never saw Mateo again?
8
Mateo
“I’ll be heading to the airport in, like, three hours, May. Mateo’s more important right now than—” We were walking, talking, and Oran cut himself off with a slight scowl as he slipped his phone into his pants pocket. “She hung up on me. Anyway, are you sure you don’t want me to stay a couple more days, Mateo?”
“She’d probably stab you if you did.” My observation earned me a wry smirk, and Oran ran his hand through his hair as I hiked up my jeans. He’d been kind enough to grab me new clothes, but contrary to popular belief, I didn’t feel as good as I looked. “I’m gonna buy a car and just start driving. I’ll end up where I end up.”
“It was strange being on my own. I hope you have an easy time figuring out what you want to do in life, Mateo. Your college educated, have more money than you can ever spend, and you can do just about anything. You’ve already proven that.” Humming softly, I tensed when Oran clapped a palm on my shoulder gingerly; every time I breathed, my stitches would tug at my skin, and I ground my teeth against the sting. “I’m proud of who you became. It took a while, and it wasn’t pretty, but you endured, Mateo. That counts for a lot.”
“I appreciate that, Oran. I just want to leave this all behind. You know, my new last name is ‘Turnin’. My name is Mateo Turnin now.” We shared a laugh at that, but the fact that I had a new last name was fucking wild- and it wasn’t even a cool last name. Mine wasn’t even a common name like ‘Smith’ or something. “I’m just glad I don’t have to go back to New York City. I hate that place. I’vealwayshated that city, and Carlyle knew it. That’s why he sent me there. And that crazy bitch of a secretary . . . ”
“What about Lucy? Are you going to ignore her and how close you two got so quickly?” I didn’t answer immediately, instead stepping through the automatic, sliding glass doors and into the thick, beautiful rays of the sun. Closing my eyes, I turned my face to the warmth and took a deep breath, ignoring the sting in my back under my plain, gray t-shirt. Oran didn’t press me for a reply, and I exhaled slowly to crack my eyes open.
I didn’t know Lynchburg, Virginia, very well, but I could buy a phone and figure things out. The warm air was just bordering on sweltering, and that was because of the nice breeze that weaved through the strands of my clothes. Savoring this moment, like I’d just got out of prison after years and years, I gazed around at the hospital’s side lawn and couldn’t help but smile.
But, all too soon, Oran’s question infiltrated my mind, and my smile drooped into a frown as an abyss opened up in my chest. My stomach churned, and I clenched and unclenched my jaw as I glanced over at my brother.
“Lucy . . . I guess it doesn’t matter anymore what I felt in that room. If it wasn’t for those stupid grease monkey’s idea to get me, get someone else from half a dozen states away, and meet up in the middle, we would’ve never met.” And that was so,sosad. Lucy would haunt me forever, I knew, and what was worse, she knew it, too. “Besides, she has a dog to go home to. That’s enough of a reason, I think.”
“Oh, speaking of which, you should take a trip to Nevada. Esmarissa’s brother’s monster dog had his last litter a couple of weeks ago. There’ll be no more, and those are supposedly some great dogs.” My brows rose at that, and Oran nodded firmly as he squeezed my shoulder. “You should snatch one or two.”
“You know, I will. Hey, can you check any nearby used car dealerships?” He pulled his phone out again, and I cleared my throat as I arched my back gingerly. “So, your girlfriend, May, does she get jealous easy?”
Discomfort dribbled from my tongue, talking about something so mundane, and Oran scoffed lightly. Shuffling over to a bench, I sat down but couldn’t relax. All I could do was stretch my legs, and even that sent pinprick pain up my spine.
“She’s just stressed, and when she gets stressed, she needs someone to be mad at. It’s been a rough ten months for her with the business. They’re getting ready to start production. It’s a huge step.” Dropping down heavily, Oran tapped away on his phone screen, and I ducked my head in a nod. “I don’t get why she’d stab me. It’s not like she lets me have any say-so in her business. All she does is snap at me, and then she apologizes afterwards, and all is good.”
“You love her?”
“I wouldn’t put up with her if I didn’t.” The answer came surprisingly fast, and Oran paused his tapping away to glance over at me. His eyes flashed, and he inhaled deeply through his nose before opening his mouth again. “I think you letting Lucy go is honorable and stupid. You should go after her and not let her go.ButI don’t think you’re wrong, Mateo.”
“If I ever see her again, I’m not gonna make the same mistake twice.” The promise flooded the void in my chest, and I sighed as it pushed my lungs up against my shoulders. Mine was the only thing I could think of— one time, a single traumatic event that wasn’t supposed to happen but did. I couldn’t put stock in that. A second time, somewhere neutral, somewhere that wasn’t a concrete box . . .
I didn’t care if Lucy was married already. Everything in me screamed that making her leave waswrong, and if I got the chance to make it right, I would. Without hesitation.
