May
“You have a really nice place.” Craning my neck to gaze around at Oran’s surprisingly modest apartment, my brows rose in surprise. “It’s smaller than the movies made me think a billionaire bachelor would have.”
“Why would I want all that space on the top floor to remind me how alone I am and how unlikely it is someone would climb that steeply for me?” I turned as he shrugged, like what he’d just said was normal, and my heart twisted. Oran’s place wasn’t barely furnished, like most movies portrayed, and he gestured me to sit on the sofa. The sleek, modern interior design fit the apartment— the living room, at least. He dropped heavily next to me and gingerly propped his bare feet on the glass coffee table. “A bird has never been in this place, though. That’s good enough right now. Did you see what kind of bird it was?”
“No, but if she got it in the park, it’s probably a pigeon or a crow or it could even be a seagull. I really didn’t stick around to look. I saw the blood and the feathers and . . . no . . . just no.” Shivering as goosebumps washed over my body under my clothes, I leaned forward to set my purse on the table, then Oran slung his arm over my shoulders when I sat back. Closing my eyes, I took a huge, stabilizing breath and sunk into the sofa while disbelief tickled the edges of my scope of comprehension. “I can’t believe that happened. I can’t believe she did that. Who looks at a dead bird and wants to bring it home and chop off its head as a keepsake? That’s part of her condition— she gets an idea and doesn’t think why she shouldn’t do it.”
“Did you ever consider sending her to a private school?” Snorting roughly, I shot Oran a ‘duh’ look and he arched a brow quizzically. “What?”
“I don’t have the money for a private school, Oran. Even if I did, I don’t know if I could even get her to go. She had such a horrible time— high schoolers are vicious, and Sarah talks without thinking and is really awkward, and she offends a lot of people without meaning to. I pulled her out because she got punched for telling a girl her skirt, which definitely didn’t cover anything, made her look like a slut. This was in November, and Sarah has refused to go back.”
“Ah, right. I don’t have a lot of experience with sisters. I only have brothers.” Oran absently twirled a lock of my hair around his finger, and I leaned my head on his chest to feel his heart beating steady and strong. “On a somewhat different topic, I apologize for bringing Kara up the other day. I shouldn’t have thrown her in your face. And you were right— I was the one making it into something it wasn’t.”
“What was she like?” Posing the question cautiously, I knew I was treading on thin ice. Oran inhaled deeply against my cheek. “You don’t have to talk about her if you don’t want to.”
“No, no, Kara was . . . she was really . . . quiet. You two are polar opposites. She was quiet, and she faded easily into the background. She actually . . . at the time, she’d been married to a cop who liked using her as a punching bag.” My heart throbbed painfully in my chest at the admission, and Oran’s voice went a little deadpanned as he exhaled. Warmth flowed down the back of my neck and I closed my eyes to focus on everything I couldn’t see. “At the time, I was really not an okay guy. I felt cheated in life, like everyone owed me and my potential. I hated my brother and my father because I felt like I could do better than them. Kara and I were roommates, basically, but a lot deeper, if that makes sense. Most of the time, she had no opinion. She was just glad to be safe from that dick.
“I realized she was always alone, so I hired her two best friends. As fucked up as that sounds now, it was a good decision at the time. For a couple of years, everything was going great and the three of them got along really well, beyond just being paid to hang out together. But I got involved with a girl and didn’t realize her true intentions. Kara told me she didn’t like this new girl, that something about her made her uneasy, and that I should cut her off. I thought I couldn’t make a bad decision, and I couldn’t possibly bewrong.” Venom dribbled from his tongue at that and I held my breath as he tangled his fingers in my hair loosely. Oran’s chest warmed under his shirt, as if the notion of it still made him so ashamed and angry, and he pursed his lips against my crown. “Kara was right— that bitch was rotten, but I refused to think I could make a mistake. Kara, Erin, and Emily died as a result. It’s something I can never forgive myself for.”
“What happened to the other girl?” He inhaled deeply, sharply, lifting his head to stare at the ceiling. I glanced up to watch his jaw work. The muscles in his neck flexed, and I licked my lips heavily as the silence stretched into discomfort.
“I beat Roquelle to death.” Tensing as an impossibly loud alarm rang in my head, I pulled back just as Oran tilted his head down and his dark, guarded eyes met mine. “Do you want to leave?”
“Y-you just willingly . . . admit . . . you really did that? And you just tell me?” I stammered a little in my shock, and Oran’s jaw tightened as he clenched his teeth together. “You know you can go to prison—”
“Do you want to leave, May?” Cutting me off, Oran’s expression became stony as my chin threatened to pierce a hole in my sternum. “You can. I won’t stop you. I told you because you asked, but as much emphasis as I put on my own wrongdoings, Roquelle actively caused Kara’s death just as much as I did by being ignorant and egotistical.”
“I-I don’t know.” I realized in that moment I definitely should leave, but I just couldn’t make my body move. If this Roquelle chick really caused Kara’s death . . . Tearing my eyes away from Oran, I pulled my knees up to my chin and rubbed my face with my hands before wrapping them around my legs. “I don’t know.”
“If someone killed your sister, what would be enough for you?” Sucking in a sharp breath, I squeezed my eyes shut and shook my head as the leather seat of the semi-circular sofa creaked loudly. “Roquelle knew who I was. Her intent was malicious. It might not be a justification, but she planned to fuck me over, and Kara got in the way.”
“I hope I never have to figure out what would be enough for me, Oran.” My heart stuttered at the notion that Oran was right, though— if someone came into Sarah’s life to hurt her and managed to do so, nothing would be enough. I’d fuckinglose it. Life in prison wouldn’t be enough. I couldn’t say for sure that I wouldn’t do the same thing, and that was what was so scary. If it happened to me, wouldn’t I take matters into my own hands, even if it didn’t go as far as he had?
Before I could open my mouth, Oran’s phone started to ring and buzz against the coffee tabletop, and the hairs on the back of my neck stood up. For a second, he didn’t move, and I wondered if he was just going to ignore it before he reached forward and snatched the device. Cracking open my eyes, I hid my frown behind my knees as my mind churned a mile a minute.
“Hello?” Sour surprise rose his brows and he glanced at me before holding up a finger in wait. “Natasha, what’s up? How are you feeling? I am busy, yes. I don’t think right now is a good t—”
Oran cut off, holding the phone out with confusion glistening in his eyes, and he absently pushed his glasses up above his frown. Setting his phone on the coffee table again, he half turned to me to prop his elbow on the back of the sofa, and I gulped down the dense lump in my throat.
“I’ll give that to you, Oran. I don’t know what I would do in that situation. But I . . . I mean—” His cell phone buzzed and trilled again, and Oran breathed fire through flared nostrils as he grabbed the thing only to pause when he looked at the caller I.D.
“I have to take this. It’s work. You know, the pizza’s not here yet, and you obviously can’t go home, May, so just hang out here. Poke around if it makes you feel better. Eat. I’ll text you.” Standing up as he spoke, Oran didn’t even give me the chance to open my mouth before he walked to the front door of his apartment. Pausing as he answered the call, he turned to me briefly to nod. “The pizza’s paid for. It should be here any minute.”
