Oran
“You seem pretty interested in this girl, Oran. Interested enough to want to impress her, at least.” Scowling darkly, I slumped a little deeper into the sofa while Dr. Laura smiled almost sympathetically. “It’s a good thing you recognize that your attempt might’ve backfired.”
“May made it pretty damn clear I fucked up.” Scratching my jaw and up my scalp roughly, I could see the anger flashing in her greenish eyes when I blinked. When May was happy, her eyes were hazel with flecks of green, but when she was mad, the inverse. “She said I was trying to control sub drones because of Kara. It kinda slipped out when we were having dinner. I told May that Kara died because May sprung on me that she’s a masochist. Earlier, in the elevator, May basically told me to stop being a power-tripping asshole.”
“Where did that jab hit you and how hard?” Clenching and releasing my jaw, I rubbed my lips as they thinned and irritation sloshed against my ribs under Laura’s scrutiny.
“Hard enough . . . because she’s right. Kara . . . Kara was so . . . empty. I made her that way. I conditioned her, controlled every aspect of her life, even if I wasn’t directly making the decisions. Now, I don’t have that. So, May was right.” Gazing into space, I took off my glasses to be rid of all those unimportant details of Dr. Laura’s office. “I don’t know what to do about it.”
“You know, Oran, it’s very easy to get you to talk about the issues you have, but I wonder if you actually acknowledge those issues. Every time you talk about it, you sound like it’s a boring business meeting or something. So, since our session is almost over, your homework could be answering why do you act like your problems aren’tyourproblems?” My cheek twitched at that and I straightened to put my glasses back on as Dr. Laura stood up. “You’re a smart man, Oran. I’m sure you can find an answer.”
“Hopefully.” Hauling myself off the sofa, I straightened my jacket, the singular reply hanging heavy on my shoulders. Walking out of her office, I paused in the waiting room at the familiar face that sat in the small lobby. “Hey . . . Natasha, right?”
Natasha, Valerie’s sister, lifted her tired, bloodshot eyes to mine and I frowned under furrowed brows. Predictably, she didn’t recognize me at first, but that gave me more time to study how damn tired her face was.
“Oh, you’re Carlyle’s brother . . . um, Owen?”
“Oran, yes, I am. Are you alright? You look exhausted, and not the honeymoon kind.” She smiled and waved in dismissal, her modest ring flashing under the fluorescent lights. But that wave was far from convincing. “I heard you got married- congratulations.”
“Yeah, yeah, I just . . . I haven’t been sleeping, so I’m kinda tired. I’m still balancing out my meds, so yeah, exhausted is a good word. Are you living here now?” Nodding, I moved to sit in the chair next to her, and Natasha brightened. “Do you know any great places to eat?”
“How about I take you and your husband to my favorite place? To celebrate.”Oh, shit.Natasha sniffled as if she was about to start crying and I tensed as the hairs on the back of my neck bristled. “Ah, are you alright, Natasha?”
“Erik and I are married, yeah, but he’s not really my husband, I guess. We’d have to have sex for that, and we haven’t. We probably won’t ever. It just seemed like the thing to do because, you know, he puts up with me, and I guess I need him, but I’m pretty sure we’re not in, like,mushydove love or whatever.” Natasha just started rambling and discomfort gripped my spine in a vise as I caught Dr. Laura hovering out of the corner of my eye behind her. “I don’t think this med combo is working.”
And then, Natasha started crying— deep, heaving, inconsolable sobs.
And that was when I took my leave, but not before letting Laura know to give Natasha my number.An offer I was now regretting.
My phone gave a shrillpingon the stairs, so I paused to pull my phone out of my pocket.
May: I’m going to be an ice block before 5
My heart stuttered faintly and my thumbs circled above my screen as I leaned on the railing to exhale through my nose. Guilt tightened my throat, and shame followed quickly behind, because, damn, I fucked upbad.
Oran: I apologize.
I mean, what the hell else could I say?
May: I’m not mad hoping they’d warm up to me was just a pipe dream no harm done that wouldn’t have done itself you just sped it up
“Not a single comma in sight.” My lips quirked up and I shook my head slightly as my mind churned, searching fruitlessly for a response. May really was something else— independent and forceful and she didn’t need someone else to stand up for her.
Oran: I just finished my 11am. On to the next meeting.
Slipping my phone into my pocket, I headed outside to my car and hopped into the back seat, and the vehicle rolled off the curb. Gazing out the window, I propped my elbow to hold my chin on my fist as my mind wandered. Normally, I took a walk after my session with Laura, but today, I didn’t have the option. My next meeting was with Port Authority, and those guys were assholes because they knew their worth.
I’d rather be doing pretty much anything else.
Dr. Laura’s question circled behind my eyes and I frowned slightly as we pulled out of the complex. Was that what she thought, that I didn’t think my problems were my own problems? What did that even mean?
“It’s quite the notion.” I liked Laura. I thought she was an expert in her field, and I could talk to her about my less than savory activities. The good doctor was, after all, Carlyle’s employee, and anything she could possibly say would endanger her life. She handled the threat well, kept to herself, and had her private practice to cover for her.
“I think I’m handling things fairly well.” Although, that could just be an illusion. I did do something stupid earlier with absolutely no second thought. Pulling my phone out of my pocket, I unlocked the device to shoot May a simple message.
Oran: Friday at 7?
She started replying immediately, an easy ‘sure’, and I clenched and released my jaw as some of the tension eased off my shoulders. Turning my mind to the issue at hand, I shoved Laura out of my thoughts to focus on business. I had one goal with this meeting with Port Authority— keep them happy by increasing their percentage. My operations required a good relationship. Both the legal and less than legal endeavors started and ended in Seattle Harbor.
Of course, shipping guns, explosives, hostages, and whatever other horrors those sickos come up with wasn’t exactly something I could share openly. Money was still money, and Port Authority didn’t take a second look at a good deal.
My phone gave a shrill cry for attention, and I glanced down through narrowed eyes.
Malory: Port Authority official is here. ETA?
“Jesus, it’s not even quarter past noon. Our appointment isn’t until one.” Grumbling in disdain, I shot Malory a reply before rolling my eyes at the gall of whoever the Authority sent. Rubbing my jaw and neck, a huff of a sigh escaped me as irritation flooded my lungs, and I was still twenty minutes from my office.
