Savio
Iknew I would see her at the wedding, but I wasn’t expecting her to look so beautiful. She was standing before me in a dress that accentuated every perfect curve of her body. Just the sight of her was enough to destroy whatever composure I thought I had. I wanted to go over to her and run my hands down the sides of her figure, feeling it for myself. It was as though it was calling out to me.
She was standing in the back of the church with Phillipa, who was rushing back and forth, trying to make sure everyone was happy. She looked exhausted, her eyes darting from one area of the church to the other as Alessandra said something to her, which caused her to run back to Lucia’s room.
I wanted to get Alessandra’s attention, but she wouldn’t even look at me. I couldn’t blame her. After our moment in the shed, I’d done everything possible to avoid her. Even once when our paths had crossed, I had darted the other way. It was a confusing feeling I was having. I wanted her so much it burned in my chest. Yet, I couldn’t bring myself to stand in front of her, look her in the eyes, and tell her the things I needed to say. I wondered if she hated me. I’d hate me. She deserved better, but I’d needed time. I still did.
I was confused.
In my life, I’d always run away from women who got too close. I’d never given myself the opportunity to care about anyone. There was always the fear of my father, who had a way of destroying everything dear to me. I had no doubt that he’d go out of his way to hurt Alessandra if I ever fucked up. I couldn’t deal with the thought of her in a position like that. Seeing her made my hands clammy. I did my best to head back to the groom’s changing room, trying to avoid her completely. I’d managed to do that so far.
I was unsure of how to proceed. I wanted to get her alone, tell her about what was going through my mind. She deserved to know why I was acting the way I was. It was just a matter of being in a gray area. I couldn’t handle the thought that what we’d done was wrong. She was still a prisoner in my house. How could I take advantage of that? Beyond that, I was beginning to feel a warmth in my chest whenever I thought of her.
It’d all started the morning after we’d slept together. I woke up and felt a wholeness in my chest, and it caused my heart to race. I knew I was starting to like her beyond her physical assets. There was still that attraction to her, but it had deepened since that night. I’d never answered any of the questions about my scars. Nor had I talked about the abuse that I’d suffered at my father’s hands or those of his goons. I’d opened up in ways that I never thought I’d be able to, but she didn’t know that.
Butterflies formed in my stomach the moment she brought her eyes to meet mine. I didn’t avert them, even when she stared daggers at me. Her eyes darted away from mine, and I noticed her jaw clenching with anger. It was one of those moments where I wanted to run up to her and tell her everything, but it wasn’t the right time. I wasn’t sure if I’d have an opportunity to make things better. If I were a believer, I’d have prayed. What better place than a church, after all?
“Come over here, Savio.”
I turned toward my father, who was standing at the end of the aisle with the priest. I hadn’t taken a good look at the church, as I was so involved with my thoughts. Seeing my father there, I couldn’t help but understand why the church was the largest venue in the city. It’s high Byzantine-style domes shaping the ceiling dwarfed the small stature of my father as the sun streamed in through its colorful stained-glass windows, causing a mosaic effect along the floor leading up to the aisle. Behind him stood the even more breathtaking aspect of the church—the Tree of Life mosaic behind the high altar. It was humbling to see that even a man like my father could be made small and insignificant.
“What is it?”
Calla lilies filled the aisles and were strung up along the pews, creating a beautiful contrast within the colorful church. I was silent as I made my way toward him, knowing that it was best to just do as he asked. He had his hands on his hips as the priest walked away from him. The priest’s head was bowed as though he was always weighed down by the toll of being a man of God. I was impressed with how well my father had been treating him. My father had always had distinct respect for people of the church, and it was something I was always surprised by.
“Now, I want you to stand over here. Anything,” my father said, pointing toward the pews. “If anything is amiss, you tell me.Capisce?”
I wasn’t sure if I would actually do it, but I’d do my best, not for my father, but for Romeo’s sake. We were estranged in many ways, but he was still my brother. I knew that my father had invited some people who were known for making trouble. The day needed to go perfectly, and if it meant keeping an eye on the guests, I’d do it.
I nodded. “Sure. I can do that.”
My father raised his eyebrows at me. “This is serious, Savio. This needs to go fucking well. I won’t have any idiots coming in here, thinking that they can mess up Romeo’s day.”
I almost laughed in his face. I had to bite down on my tongue to stop myself. I knew that it wasn’t for Romeo’s sake that he wanted it done. It was for his own image. My father couldn’t care less about whether or not Romeo was happy with how things went. My father simply needed to maintain his image and make others believe that his lavish life went as perfectly as they assumed it did.
“Don’t worry. I’ll get it done.”
My father shook his head as he walked by me. I knew that he didn’t expect me to do it properly. He never expected me to do anything to his liking. I watched as he walked away and felt a pang of excitement when I saw that Alessandra was still standing there, statuesque in her beautiful dress. Her long hair was tousled at her shoulders, and at that moment, I imagined her walking toward me. I pictured myself as the groom and her as the bride. It caused a smile to form on my lips, but she didn’t budge. Her eyes were like daggers.
I started toward her, only to reach out when she ran in the opposite direction. She lifted her dress with her hands so that she could get away faster and left for the women’s bathroom, past the entrance. The door closed behind her, almost slamming.
I wouldn’t leave it. I couldn’t. In the time that I’d be back in the room with Romeo, I’d have an opportunity to talk to her before the ceremony started. We’d have to get in position soon, and the announcement would go off.
I had to get to her before that.
I rushed past the pews and averted my eyes as guests began to arrive. The massive church doors opened, and people began to flood in. I didn’t have time to talk to any of them. I simply needed to speak to Alessandra and right my wrongdoings—if she’d let me.
