Alessandra
What did I just do?
I pulled away from him with my heart racing in my chest. My mind was in complete chaos, and it was as though every part of me had been set on fire. I quickly tried to replay the moment in my mind to give myself a justifiable explanation for putting my lips on his. I tried, but I couldn’t come up with any solid reason other than that my whole body wanted so badly that I lost all control.
What the hell did I just do?
His hands grazed against my back, lifting the fabric of my dress. He opened his eyes slowly as though it was dawning on him too. We’d rushed in. Like we’d been tossed into the ocean, we’d simply allowed ourselves to be swallowed by the feeling of each other so much so that we’d gotten lost beneath the current. His arms fell to his sides as I pulled back further, unsure as to whether we should continue.
I kissed Savio Cavetti.
I felt his kiss on my lips still, as though he’d permanently etched himself there. I wanted more. I didn’t want to admit it to myself. Not while staring into the face of my enemy. That was what he was. He and his entire family. How could I have kissed him? Especially after I’d just learned about my brother’s death. Was it desperation? Could he taste it on his lips like a lingering afterthought?
I was silent. I was in shock, barely able to register what had just happened between us. His fingers burned me, leaving a heavy warmth beneath their touch. I was desperate. Maybe that was for the best. I wanted more.
I’d imagined this very moment while lying in bed. It was so much better than I’d imagined. The way his tongue had slowly parted my lips, my face reddened as I relived it while still in his arms, unsure of what to do next. For a brief moment that felt like a thousand years, we stood, staring at each other, each of us trying to find answers to the questions my action triggered in our minds. We were staring at each other as the silence filled the small space between us.
He leaned in closer, and I could smell his cologne. It was musky, oaky, and suited him perfectly. His muscles tensed as he brought me toward him. I felt his lips press against mine, and I melted into him. I couldn’t resist, and neither could he. His kiss was strong, harder this time. It wasn’t faint, as the first one had been. His hands gripped at my skin as he pressed me closer, his chest heavy against mine.
My thoughts became unraveled, and my memory became scattered across my emotions. At that moment, nothing else in the world mattered. Not my dead parents nor brother, not my imprisoned sisters, not my burning hatred and my unquenchable thirst for revenge against the Cavettis. Everything else in the world fell into the background. All that mattered was the feeling of his touch on my back, the feeling of my breast rubbing against his thin, shredded frame, and the taste of his tongue, twisting and turning in my mouth, pulling at mine and giving me the feeling of a lightning storm.
A tingling sensation and warmth swept through every part of my body. It was as though I was floating. I wanted nothing more than for him to press against me harder. I tilted his head and moved my tongue in slowly, massaging his. It was soft at first, almost sweet. He began to grow firm to the touch as though each muscle was contracting. I tested this, bringing my hands from his neck to his chest. I could feel him tensing, and it made me want him even more.
He tasted like mint as he pressed himself even closer to me. I could feel his frame hard against mine, and his arousal pressed against me as he pushed me toward the wall. I grazed my hands across his body as his lips moved slowly, applying just the right amount of tension there. My heart fluttered in my chest, causing me to feel weak all over.
His hands were still limp at his sides, despite mine wandering all over him. I wanted him to touch me all over. I became covered in goosebumps the moment I thought of it. I kissed him deeper, loving the smell of his cologne and the feel of his lips against mine. They were firm and unforgiving. I wanted more of them constantly. He lowered his lips to my neck, causing my skin to waver with desire. I felt it everywhere, and I was hot all over. I brought my hand to his face, feeling the six o’clock shadow against my fingertips, which were tingling. I made him kiss me again, desiring him to take me in his arms.
Still, he refused.
I couldn’t take it anymore. I took his hand in mine, reaching for his hand slowly. He flinched as though surprised that I’d taken his hand in mine. He pulled back slightly, and a small smile grew on my lips, which were still desperate to continue kissing him. My hand was shaking as I brought it to my breast and met his eyes. I could see passion as well as confusion gleaming in his eyes.
He bit my lower lip, causing me to push myself even harder against him. It was all that needed to be done. He lifted his hands to my shoulders, lowering my dress and exposing my black bra to the cool air around us. There was utter silence in the shed, save for my racing heart, which was like a drum in my ears. He lifted my breast in the bra, pushing me hard against the wall, nearly knocking the wind out of me.
I loved it.
He pressed his erection against me, and I found myself wanting it even more. Instinctively, I slowly opened my legs as he pulled the dress closer to my hips, exposing me completely. I unbuttoned his dress shirt, enjoying the look of his pale skin in the moonlight. His muscles flexed with each jerking motion as I let my fingers scale down his chest toward the top of his pants. I could see him flinch, which made me smile.
He was hesitant, checking in my eyes to see if I indeed wanted this. I gave him a gentle smile as I tucked my hand into the gap between his arms and drove my hand to his back. I pulled him closer into me, and when his body was pressed completely against mine, I pushed even harder. I felt his muscles throb as he moved his hands gently over my breast and fondled with determination. He was sure now that I wanted him more than I wanted anything else at that moment, and he welcomed it with a gentle smile. He moved his hands slowly down my back and pressed me hard against him. I felt his hardness almost bursting through his pants. He was throbbing, which only made me want him more.
How was it that he had such an effect on me? It was like nothing I’d ever experienced before, and I didn’t want it to end. I simply wanted to spend every moment feeling that same exhilarating emotion. It was something I couldn’t describe. I simply wanted to be swept away in it—drowned, even.
The thoughts going through my mind were all about him. I was desperate, and that desperate feeling only made things worse. He grazed my neck, and shivers swept down my spine. He was overwhelming, and I couldn’t handle it. It felt as though I was having an out-of-body experience.
With his hands on my thighs, he took me off the ground, and my legs went around him.
He set me down slowly and gave another look of hesitation.
It was like fireworks were going off inside me. I was aroused, desperately wanting to know what he would feel like inside me. I was enraptured with his smell, taste, and the feeling of his skin against mine.
I raised at his touch and held tightly to him, and the weight of him pulled him down over me. Still, I stopped. I froze. It dawned on me that I was going to go through with it—and with a Cavetti. I’d be throwing away all the hatred I had for them and allowing one to take me.
Was I doing the right thing?
