Chapter Sixteen: Marianna
In such a short amount of time, everything that I’ve come to know about my life, about my wishes, and what I’ve come to love has all started to feel so foreign to me. It’s like there’s a part of me that wants to get accustomed to the pain before it gets worse, but I know that isn’t going to be good for me. There’s absolutely no telling whether I’m ever going to get out of here, but I have to keep believing, keep pushing forward because that’s truly all I can do. I don’t know how much longer I can hold out hoping that I’m either going to be rescued or happen upon a single opportunity that would ensure my freedom much like Rurik had. I don’t know what to believe any more, but the only thing that is getting me through this, that allows me to get out of bed in the morning is the thought that Rurik finally has the chance he’s been looking for to move on.
He’d wanted nothing more than to have a second chance, to rebuild his life without the worry that he was going to be constantly chased down, having to choose between staying alive or compromising who he was. I was glad that he continued to fight, that he didn’t end up like Anton or Larissa, because then I would’ve been running from him as well. He’d told me about what his plans had been, about how he was instructed to kill me, and he’d mentioned that it was because of the story he heard from a man that worked under Luka, one that was a new recruit at the time, that he changed his mind. He didn’t understand the connection I had to Luka at the time, and he just viewed it as it being a matter of business and nothing more until that man came and changed his mind. I was trying to remember his name, trying to remember if Rurik had told me anything else about what he looked like, because if I could find him, there was a sliver of a chance that he still might want to get out of here.
He was facing the very same kind of situation as Rurik had been, roped into the Andreyev Family allure with promises that Luka never intended to keep, only so he could get his recruits where he wanted them so he could make them decide between wanting to stay alive, and enacting his murder fantasies the way he saw fit. I’d heard of the things he’d done, of what he’d made people like Rurik do, and it sickened me to my core. I was realizing that it was just a matter of time before I had to do that very same thing myself, and I was aware that Luka must’ve lined up someone quite interesting for me to take out in order to test my loyalty.
It had been two days since I’d first stepped foot into the Andreyev Family mansion, and I was keeping count because I didn’t want to ever lose sight of my goal. I needed to find a way out of here without alerting any of the people who were watching over me that I was devising a plan of my own. I didn’t care how long it was going to take me, I simply had to keep going with the thought that one day I was going to be able to live my life on my own terms again, and I had to believe that wholeheartedly. I took a hot shower that morning, enjoying the steam that filled the bathroom as I contemplated what the day was going to bring. One of the maids had brought in a fresh pressed dress for me, laying out my shoes, and new undergarments so that I could look and feel my best.
It was the very same thing that they must’ve done to Larissa when they first started to entice her with the idea that living here wouldn’t seem so bad in the grand scheme of things. I wondered how they managed to get underneath her skin enough for them to persuade her into taking part in their vile acts, because she was never the kind of person that would ever take too kindly to that. I knew that they had to have hit her where it hurts, tell her that they were going to destroy everything that she loved so that she would pay attention to what was truly important, pleasing them. I got dressed, tucking my hair behind my ears as I glanced at my reflection in the mirror. My skin had looked so washed out and drained from the lack of sleep, from the worry that would creep back into my mind when I least expected it, begging me to do everything in my power to make my escape, but I had to quiet my impulses if I wanted to live.
It was imperative that I kept a straight face around each and every person I saw, because there was no telling who was reporting back to Luka himself, taking note of my mannerisms, and I knew he wanted to see just how capable I was of shutting off my emotions and doing what needed to be done to preserve what was left of my life. I didn’t want it to have to come to me having to kill someone that I didn’t even know, whether they were truly a bad person or not, that was not up for me to decide. Up until this point, I’d only ever killed to protect myself, and it hadn’t felt personal, but something told me that this was going to be an entirely different experience, one that would stick with me for the rest of my life, and I truly wasn’t sure I was going to be able to deal with that, but I had no choice but to try.
I headed downstairsto see where everyone else had been, because the house had been awfully quiet for a place that usually had at least fifteen people running through it at all hours of the day. It was certainly big enough of a mansion that I would get lost in it, that I would probably wander off into some corner that I wasn’t supposed to be in, and I was aware that I didn’t want to anger Luka or Tanya because that was just going to lead them to making me want to engage in their little games that much sooner. I traveled through the grand living room, making my way past the enormous kitchen, until I happened upon a study that was hiding underneath the main staircase. I realized that it wasn’t Luka’s office, because I’d seen him in his just a day ago, so I couldn’t help but be a little curious as to what he might be hiding in the little room that was chock full of books that probably hadn’t been touched in ages. The door was slightly open, as I peered inside, wondering if I was going to get in trouble by even venturing off on my own like this, but they made it pretty clear that they wanted me to feel at home, whether they were ready to deal with what that meant or not.
The room was far larger than initially realized, and I was enveloped in countless bookcases, until I caught sight of the little room tucked away inside that had a man curled up on the futon going through a few files. I didn’t recognize him, and I didn’t want to bother him either, but the minute his eyes caught sight of me, it was clear that he knew who I was. I had a feeling that Luka had clued everyone in on my existence, and I wasn’t surprised that he was shocked to find me there, but I was a little surprised by how quickly he seemed to back away from me, as though he wasn’t allowed to talk to me at all.
“I’m sorry to bother you, I didn’t realize that anyone else was in here,” I said, and he looked quite startled, but I wanted to know why. I wanted to know what kind of spiels Luka was telling his men behind my back, because that was going to be the one thing that reminded me of what I needed to, of how I had no choice but to continue looking for a way out, because even though the house may have felt empty, it was still being heavily guarded, and the minute I stepped foot outside of the front door, I would’ve had twenty guards swarming me, ushering me right back into the house, where I would probably have been placed under close watch.
If that happened, there would be absolutely no chance that I would be able to get out any time soon, and so I had to be very careful around each and every person I spoke to, but there was something quite different about this one. He didn’t seem as menacing as the others did, and if I hadn’t been mistaken, it almost appeared as though he was afraid of me.
“You’re not bothering me, but it’s probably best that you leave. I wouldn’t want Mr. Andreyev catching me talking to you,” he said, and with everything he said, I only grew more curious. I wasn’t going to walk right out of there until I had more answers.
“Why would he be angry that I’m talking to you? You do work for him, and I’m his daughter, it’s quite clear that we were probably going to cross paths at some point,” I said.
“That may be true, but there are things that I know, and things that I have done, that Mr. Andreyev can never know about regarding you. I know very well that you don’t want to be here, but if you want to keep us both alive, then I suggest you let this go, and move on,” he replied, but I had no idea how he could say that to me. I wondered for a moment if he had been the man that fed Rurik the information that led him to change his mind about me, and if I was right, then I certainly did owe him for saving my life.
“You’re the one that spoke to Rurik, aren’t you?” I asked, watching as he gulped, realizing that I knew much more than I was letting on.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said, but I was sure. It had to be him, otherwise he wouldn’t have been so hesitant to speak to me, and he wouldn’t be so afraid that Luka would catch him having an aimless conversation with me. I’d spoken to others around the mansion even if it was briefly and in passing, but I never quite got a reaction like this one. It was clear that he was hiding something, and I was definitely going to find out what that was.
“Yes, you do. I’ve never seen someone quite so scared to talk to me, and I’ve seen a lot of faces over the last two days. What’s your name?” I asked, hoping it was going to jog my memory.
“My name is Vanya,” he said, and everything began to make sense. I remembered that was the name that Rurik had shared with me, telling me that he was the reason that Rurik changed his mind about taking me out before he even got to know me. I had him to thank for saving my life, for being somewhat impartial to this whole thing, and I wondered if he still shared the same sentiments he did before. I still had yet to meet Anton, the man that was able to sway Larissa, and something told me that he wasn’t going to change his mind on leaving, much like he hadn’t when he and Rurik eventually parted ways. I hoped that Vanya was going to be different, because I couldn’t keep going on knowing that I didn’t have anyone to turn to, that I didn’t have anyone that shared the very same feelings as I do.
“You told me your name, and that’s proof enough that you’ve realized that I recognize you from what Rurik had told me. It’s quite clear that you’re scared, but it seems that your mind hasn’t changed on how you felt before Rurik left to come find me, is that right?” I asked, hoping that he wasn’t going to disappoint me, because I needed someone to rely on now more than ever.
“I want the same as you, Marianna, but I’m afraid that the longer we both stay here, we’re just going to end up like the rest of them. Mr. Andreyev is a very persuasive man, and he keeps a close eye on everyone that works for him. Nothing slips through the cracks with him or the people he trusts the most, and even those who have tried to get close to him only to find a way to make their escape have all suffered. Have you not suffered? If it’s out you want, you better be prepared to fight, because there is no sneaking out of this place, not anymore,” said Vanya.
“I know that. I am prepared to fight, but I know that I cannot do it alone, and I’m going to need your help if I truly want to have my freedom back. You’ve been here far longer than I have, and I’m already losing my mind. It’s time we do something about it, even if it means that we might get hurt in the process, but we have to play it smart. There is virtually no point in lashing out, and if we want to make sure we can get farther than the front gates, then we’re just going to have to continue playing along for now,” I said, and he nodded.
“Can I trust you?” he asked.
“Can I trust you?” I returned the question, and we both nodded in agreement.
It wasn’t much, but I truly did feel a weight being lifted off my shoulders, and I could already feel like things were eventually going to fall into place again. We needed a way to get out from under Luka’s watch, just long enough so that we could get far enough away to hide and wait out the storm. I’d learned a lot from both Rurik and Kir to know how to handle myself in this situation, and I knew that was going to come in handy the moment that I needed to defend myself. Now, I just had to keep an eye out for an opening, but my mind couldn’t help but wander off to the thought of what Rurik and Kir must be doing, and if they’re alright. I was given Luka’s word, but that doesn’t mean that he was going to live up to it, but it was truly the only thing I could think to do. I wanted to protect them both the way they’ve protected me, and I fully intended on showing them that I’ve listened attentively, that I’ve observed the necessary behaviours to get through this, and to make sure that we didn’t face any more tragedy.
The time will come where I will make it out of here, and this will all be a distant memory. I have to believe that, because if I don’t I’m just as much of a lost cause as those that have chosen to trust Luka even though he was the one that destroyed their lives to begin with. I will make my move when the time is right, but now I simply have to be patient.
