Chapter Two: Marianna
Who am I?I’ve been asking myself that question for as long as I can remember. I felt like there was a part of me that was missing, and I knew I would never be able to move forward with my life until I found a way to fill that void. I had a wonderful upbringing, in a home with a family that loved me dearly, but I always felt like there was something they were not telling me. I tried to bury the fact that I wanted to know the truth, pursue my dreams, as they’d given me everything I needed to live a wonderful life, but I just couldn’t quiet the curiosity inside of me. When they finally told me that I had been adopted, that I was left on their doorstep by a woman when I was barely a few days old, I realized I had to know more. I had begged my parents for a very long time to tell me what the name of that woman was, because even though I considered them to be my parents, and I loved them with all of my heart, I still wanted to know what my biological mother was like.
The idea that I could possibly know more about who I was consumed me, and I found myself searching for my birth parents any chance I got, even while I was caught up trying to finish my degree in psychology so I could become a therapist. My parents had given me everything I needed to succeed, but it wasn’t enough to keep the curiosity from creeping back in when I least expected it. That is why I moved closer to where my parents’ old house had been, started up a practice nearby so I could help others while I desperately tried to figure out how I was going to move forward the minute I could track down my birth mother. It was quite possible that she had given me up because she just wasn’t fit to be a mother, but I was never going to be sure until I knew the truth.Your name is Tanya Andreyeva and I’m not going to stop until I learn everything I can about you.I thought, sitting at my desk in my office, reading through a few articles that were written about the Andreyev Family and their rumored ties to the mafia.
I’d seen those very rumors circulating through the media, but I didn’t want it to scare me away from trying to find out more, because I knew that they were all quite established figures in society as well. They had a lot of money, power, and ambition that got them where they are today, and I wanted to know if they ever even thought about me, and about what I must be doing now. I had to brace myself for what was possibly going to occur if I ever had the chance to speak to my birth parents, because I couldn’t walk into a meeting with them blind, trying to focus all of my attention on the fact that I wanted to believe that they cared to get to know me, but it was quite possible that they were happy having me out of their hair. From everything I’d read about them, it didn’t seem like they had any other children, and I wondered if that was a personal choice, or if they couldn’t bring themselves to go through with it again after they’d given me up all those years ago. I promised myself that I was going to do whatever it took to get the answers I desired, because it was the only thing that was going to reintroduce normalcy in my life and I wanted nothing more than to feel normal again.
I’d finished up with all of the clients I had to see for the day, and I was getting ready to head out when I noticed just how late it had gotten. I glanced down at my cell phone to see that I had three missed calls from Larissa, my best friend that I met in University, and she’d texted me quite a few times begging me to call her back. I dialed her number, locking up my office while I waited for the call to connect.
“Well, it’s about time! You should’ve clocked out hours ago, Marianna. Please tell me that you’re not now just leaving the office,” she said, and I chuckled.
“Guilty. Unfortunately, I got a bit caught up after I finished with my last client, but whatever you had been calling about seems urgent, so what’s up?”
“You’re not going to get away with it this time. I know when you’re deflecting, Marianna. Have you been researching your birth parents again?” she asked, and I should’ve known that she would’ve been able to pick up on that, because there was nothing that ever slipped past her in conversation.
“Guilty, yet again. I can’t help it. I need to know what they’re like, why they gave me up, and if they even want to see me again. It’s quite possible that they truly want nothing to do with me, but what if they’ve spent every day since giving me up regretting that decision?”
“And what exactly are you going to do to get their attention? Waltz up to them at one of their fundraisers to tell them that you’re their biological daughter?” she asked, sarcastically.
“I haven’t quite thought about that, but that’s a plausible way to do it,” I teased, and I could hear the smile on the other end of the line.
“Whatever you decide to do, I’m right there behind you, but I called because I need your advice on something. I’ve met someone that I quite like, but I’m not sure if getting involved with him is the right move,” she started.
“Why is that?”
“It just seems like there’s something big he’s not telling me, and I need to figure it out before we move any further. I’d tell you all about it now, but I know that you have to head home, and head straight back to work in just a few hours,” said Larissa, but I could see right through her, knowing that she wanted nothing more than to tell me all that was on her mind.
“I’m sure I can stop off at your place, spend the night, while you tell me all the details about why you’re not sure seeing this guy is the right move, and I will give you my unsolicited advice free of charge,” I said, teasingly.
“Thank you, Marie. I’ll see you soon,” she replied, with a giggle, just as I hung up.
I made my way into the parking lot of my office building, walking to my car, but I couldn’t help but feel like someone was watching me. I hurried down to where my car was sitting, unlocking it quickly while I slid into the driver’s seat, locking my doors, and pulling out of the area as fast as I could. I could’ve sworn that there was a man standing near the entrance of the building with his hood pulled over his head, shielding any facial features from being shown under the streetlamp light. I tried not to let it get to me, making the drive down to Larissa’s house, while I tried my best to convince myself that I was just being paranoid.You’re a little on edge because you’re stressed, and you’re still trying to figure out how you’re going to get in contact with your birth parents. That is all.I thought, pulling into Larissa’s driveway, while I made my way up to ring her doorbell, hearing her footsteps approach from behind the front door, while she opened it up smiling right back at me.
“Thank you again for coming all this way. I know you have to be up for work early tomorrow,” she said, embracing me just as she shut the door behind her.
“It’s no problem. I’m going to have to borrow something of yours in the morning before making my way back to the office though, if that’s alright,” I said, and she nodded happily while she led me into the living room so she could pour me a glass of wine.
“Usually, I’d say no but I’m particularly stressed tonight, and a little on edge. I could’ve sworn that someone was following me when I was leaving the building tonight, but I could just be paranoid,” I said, waiting for her to calm my suspicions, but she only glanced back at me with true concern in her expression.
“As much as I know you have an incredible amount of work to do every day, I hate seeing you leave the office this late, because I don’t want anything bad to happen to you. If you can, I’d appreciate it if you left a bit earlier, you know before the sun goes down,” she said, and I wondered what had gotten her so scared, because usually she wasn’t so keen on making sure that I was safe at all times. She was usually the one bar hopping late at night, doing just about everything she could to have a good time, so it truly caught me by surprise that she was growing to be rather protective all of a sudden.
“Larissa, are you alright? I know that you called me over here to talk about boy trouble, but something seems to be bothering you. What is it?” I asked, truly concerned as to why I saw such fear behind her eyes.
“I met this guy at a bar a few nights ago, and while we hit it off, there was something about him that seemed rather strange. You know that I’m always attracted to the bad guys, the dysfunctional, brooding types, but I never thought that I would be this conflicted about a guy, ever,” she told me, and I continued to listen attentively while she told me the rest of the story, but I could already feel it in my gut that she was going to tell me something I wasn’t going to like.
“Is this guy dangerous?” I asked.
“I don’t think he is, or at least if he is, he doesn’t want me to believe that he could be. He’s kind and generous, not the type that would be involved in anything suspicious, but every night since I started seeing him, I could’ve sworn that I felt someone watching me too, and it’s left me a little on edge. I know that it’s probably just a coincidence, and I’m reading too much into things, but after you told me that, it scared me a bit,” she confessed, and I wanted to tell her that the two situations were completely different, but I was starting to feel rather afraid. Though, I knew that we were going to get absolutely nowhere if we were both far too scared to go about living our lives, so I had to quiet my suspicions, and tell her that it had to be a coincidence.
“Larissa, I know that things might seem a bit scary, but if you’re worried that this guy might be trouble, then wouldn’t it be smart to stop seeing him altogether?” I asked her.
“I don’t know if I want to, at least until I’m sure that he’s not involved in anything bad. That way, I can forget this conversation and just enjoy my time with him,” she said, but I could tell that she was still having a hard time convincing herself.
“You know the kind of work I do, and the kind of people I help on an everyday basis. It’s quite possible that one of my more troubled clients just paid me a visit and didn’t say anything because they look at my office as a safe space. I wouldn’t read too much into any of this, at least until you’re sure that this guy is bad news. I say, just be careful until then, okay?”
“I will, Marianna. Thank you. I know that you’ve been caught up lately trying to figure out things with your birth parents, and I just made this entire conversation about me.”
“Hey, that’s why I came. We can have plenty of time to talk after I finish up my shift tomorrow, okay?” I asked, and she nodded.
