I nodded in agreement since it was true. He had, of course, been able to persuade me to do a number of things I never saw myself doing. It was enough to change the person I was, transforming me in a way I never expected.
But did I know if he loved me? I needed to find out. I refused to say those words until I truly knew. I didn’t want to be his toy. I wanted what Lucia and Romeo had, and I wanted to do it the right way. It usually took time for something like that to develop, and we’d had plenty of time to grow to adore one another.
There was no doubt in my mind that I cared for Marcello. I did. But there was still that nervousness surrounding our situation. Did he really love me? Or did he love the fact that I was his own personal plaything? After a long day, I didn’t want to give it much thought, but he was waiting on my every word. I had to think of something.
Then the idea appeared in my mind.
“I want to feel in control of something, for the first time,” I said, my voice wavering. “I want you to drive me to a local park.”
He furrowed his brow. “Why a park?”
“Can you just take me to the nearest one? You’ll find out there.”
He shrugged and didn’t say another word as he turned on the vehicle. I knew that he was still waiting for me to repeat those words back to him. There was nothing more devastating than when you confessed your feelings for someone who didn’t feel the same way. It was always an incredibly difficult thing to consider and to feel, especially when you were in the moment.
He peered around the street, searching for a nearby public park. I wasn’t sure which area we were in, but someone like him, who worked with dealers and drug trafficking, was sure to know where to find out where we were. He rounded onto another street and pulled up to the side. I saw a trail ahead, alongside a few people jogging.
It was open, exposed, and had a few benches. It was perfect.
“Will this work?”
“Yeah,” I told him and unbuckled my seatbelt, which was constricting. “Let’s go.”
I was giddy with anticipation. He was unsure about what was happening, but I couldn’t be more excited to finally have the power in the relationship. I had to find out if he was willing to let go of the dynamic we’d had for the past few months. I couldn’t allow him to continue seeing me as simply a prisoner in his father’s home - especially if he was able to convince his father to give my sister and me more freedom. I was his equal, and I needed him to see me like that. There was only one way I could do that while fulfilling something that he’d been wanting to do since we met. The mirror hadn’t been enough.
I was going to take it to the next level, just as he had done when he brought the toy on the plate that day. I had to push him, and see how far he would bend. If he didn’t accept it, then I knew that the love wasn’t really there. Infatuation was the only thing he felt, and that was too far from love for me to accept.
Finding out if it was the power dynamic could change between us would be tricky, but it was the only idea I could come up with at that moment. I would push him in the same way he’d pushed me over the past couple of months. In the beginning, it had been a game to him. I had to know if he still felt that way. I was going to play a game, but I was hopefully going to figure everything out and regain my scattered thoughts. So much had happened throughout the day that I needed to figure at least one thing out.
I walked briskly through the grass, hearing his footsteps behind me. I didn’t look back. I simply searched for the best bench in the area and saw it towards the edge of the park, attached to a picnic table. The sun beat down from above, and my dress was already feeling tight. I’d been trapped in it all day, and it was beginning to feel overwhelming. The whole goddamn day had been that way. I just needed a release and I needed to know that the man who was convinced that he loved me truly did. It would be the only redeeming quality of an otherwise horrible day.
He followed me with a questioning expression on his face as I brought him to the bench. I pointed to it, feeling strong. He furrowed his brow but took a seat. I glanced around briefly and saw that there weren’t too many people around—just enough for it to feel risque. No children. Just people along the trail next to the park running or walking their dog.
I lifted my dress and straddled his lap. He leaned back, and I touched his chest, feeling his heartbeat racing in his chest. I spread the dress so that it draped on either side of my legs and pressed myself against his legs. His erection was hard and tense through his dress pants as I straddled him, taking hold of his shoulders.
I felt a wave of power overwhelm me. For the first time, I was the one in charge, and it only fueled my desire towards him. This position, where I was straddling him, was something I could get used to. His hands grazed my thighs as he pressed his erection against me. He gripped my skin between his fingers, pushing into me. The heat emanated from between my legs, and I knew I needed him. Right there and then.
He also had to know I was in charge.
I took his hands from my thighs and pushed them away. His erection was like a hot brand between my legs. I could feel it through his dress pants. I unzipped the fly and pulled it out, feeling its girth in my hand. It was throbbing. Hot and ready—just like I was.
I didn’t think about what to do next. I couldn’t think. I wanted more. I wanted him. I peered into his deep blue eyes and held his gaze as I spread my legs further and tore my underwear open. I clutched his erection in my hand and brought it towards me. I brought my fingers along the shaft, which caused it to get even bigger. It was pulsing with each movement. I brought my lips to his and kissed him softly before directing his erection inside me. I pressed down immediately, wanting all of him.
He moaned into my mouth, which set me off. I moved my hips languidly, enjoying the sensation of him inside me. He gripped each side of the picnic table, staring out beyond me, as though scared we’d get caught.
“Keep your eyes on me.”
He did as he was told, and it only encouraged me more. I wanted to see if he would give all of himself to me. Right there, in a public park.
“Thrust into me as I move,” I told him, breathless. “Do it.”
He brought his hand to my back and held me as he thrust. I moved with each movement, feeling him throbbing inside me. I grew more courageous, not caring who saw us. There was an element of danger to it that turned me on even more. I wanted to see how far I could push him.
I held onto the collar of his dress shirt, slowly bringing my fingers to his neck. His expression was one of pure lust, his lips parted as he moaned softly. Seeing how turned on he was made me reckless. I wanted to bring him to ecstasy, as he’d done for me so many times before. I wanted him to want me more than he’d ever craved anything in his life. I was slow as I swerved my hips, feeling his body begin to tense.
He clutched me, bringing me closer as he began to shake. I knew it was about to happen, and I was ready. I could feel it welling inside of me, threatening to release. He thrust harder, his hands gripping me tighter. There was that warmth emanating from within me, threatening to break me. I held onto him and saw the lust in his eyes as his face reddened. I could see someone beyond us, watching and wondering what was happening. I brought my eyes back to his, not wanting to pay any attention to anything but him.
That warmth overwhelmed me until it exploded. My legs shook and my back arched as I kissed him deeply, trying to suppress my moan. I felt his hands shaking as he held me, and he pulled back, releasing himself onto the ground. He quickly put himself away and leaned against me, having to place his weight against me. He placed his head against my shoulder, his entire body shaking from what had just happened.
