Carlyle
Buffalo seemed particularly beautiful in the twilight, and I glanced over at Valerie waved her hand out the window. We were stuck in traffic, but the usual frustration of it was lost to me— maybe because I didn’t have a destination. Of course, we were going to the mall, but getting there wasn’t exactly on my top five things to do in this car. Adjusting my grip on the wheel, I waited, my blinker flashing on the dash, for the long line of cars in the turn lane.
“You’re older than your brothers, right? By how much?” Filling the silence, Valerie flopped her head to watch me through curious, bright eyes. “You already know Natasha and I are six minutes apart, and we’re an only child.”
“Oran is three years younger than me, and Mateo is eight. I had a sister, but she died when I was twenty-two. She was six years younger than me.” Raking my hand through my hair, I inhaled a deep breath. Illya reminded me a lot of my sister, but it’d been a long time since I actually conjured her name. “Her name was Sonja.”
“So, you were a big bad boss at the age of thirty. That’s not bad. I’m sorry you had to deal with that, Carlyle. My dad died when I was thirteen, and that’s when my mom went off the rails.” The honest to God truth was that Sonja’s death really put things into perspective— that she could be so bubbly and happy and nice, and still kill herself. Reaching over the center console, I held Valerie’s hand, and she tangled our fingers together with a forlorn sigh. “I used to think my mom loved my dad so much that she went crazy because he died, but then I realized she just couldn’t function without him. He was the money maker, and she was a stay-at-home mom. He went grocery shopping, and she didn’t know how to drive. All that stuff.”
“I take it something happened to make you both move here?” I didn’t want to probe too deep too quickly, but Valerie only shrugged nonchalantly, her nose scrunching up in disgust. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”
“Nah, it’s stereotypical. We’d been talking about it since our mom went to jail the third time, and my boyfriend cheated on me. When I found out about it, I just left. Didn’t tell him, didn’t leave a note, didn’t even get my stuff. I just disappeared on him. Natasha quit her job, and we took the trans-Amex from Dallas to Florida up to New York. On the way, we decided this was the place.”
“What thefuck?” The slur just burst from my mouth, loud and abrasive, and Valerie jumped a little with a small, surprised gasp. “How couldyouget cheated on?”
She just smiled even as fire raced through my veins, and I exhale a flaming breath through my nose. The line of cars in front of me starting to move, but I didn’t let go of her hand as I propped my knee under the wheel. Driving wasn’t so alien, but usually, I was by myself, and now, I was fucking pissed.
“I guess . . . ” Speaking up as I pulled into the turn just as the arrow turned yellow, Valerie’s voice dipped low. “I could’ve been a better girlfriend. I dated Trevor because he was boring, and the last thing I wanted to be involved in anything remotely exciting because exciting meant dangerous. We met in college, but we never lived together or anything. He was definitely one of those guys you get into a relationship to break up with, and I knew that from the start.”
“That’s not an excuse for cheating. Any guy who cheats instead of just breaking up is a loser and doesn’t deserve any woman, let alone a woman likeyou.” Venom dribbled from my tongue like acid, and Valerie raised my hand to rub her cheek against the back of my palm. The thick hairs on my arm stood up, and I tightened my grip on her fingers even as a scowl threatened to curl my lip.
“I know, Carlyle. It was like the straw that broke the camel’s back, is what I’m saying. It was a small thing that initiated catastrophic change for me. I realized that I couldn’t keep going like that. There was a lot of other stuff going on— like I said, my mom was on her way to jail again. I wasn’t with my sister, and that made me miserable. I’d graduated, but had absolutely no job prospects until Natasha found this job here. I mean, to her credit, she found it pretty quick, so I quit my job at a pizza place, and here we are, a little more than a year later.” Her cheek warmed against my palm, and I clenched my jaw hard when she sighed down the cuff of my shirt. “So that’s my butterfly moment. Here’s a question— what’s the stupidest thing you’ve ever spent money on?”
“Uh-h. . . I hired some Mexican mercenaries to assassinate a guy, and not only did they not do that, but they got this woman involved who ended up my employee through events I’m still unsure of?” Valerie laughed, of course, but I was still pissed about that fucking bullshit even now, almost five years later. Licking my teeth, I shook my head and sat back a little to prop my head on the rest. “No, seriously, I think the stupidest thing I’ve ever spent money on was probably a golf trip. Did I mention yet that I absolutelyhategolf?”
“Oh, no, you didn’t. Are you so rich that the law doesn’t apply to you?”
“Yes. I just own the whole world, and it sucks.” Throwing back her head to cackle at my sarcasm, Valerie held my hand against the soft leather straining against her thighs, and I smirked faintly. “If I was, would it matter? I didn’t take you to be the type to get caught up on something as superficial as money, Valerie.”
“Not really. I mean, I’m still not really understanding the whole scale of it, but it’s whatever. Even if I needed your help, I’d try to pay you back and keep it reasonable. It’s not like you’re a criminal or anything.” Trailing off, Valerie shot me a curiously arched brow, and I ground my teeth. “You don’t give off that slimy vibe, you know?”
“Isn’t that the beauty of it? Who’s going to suspect me? This is exactly why I don’t say ‘gotta.’” She chuffed a laugh, and a strange sense of guilt constricted my throat. I’d rarely felt guilty about anything before, but lying to her . . . Adjusting my grip on the wheel, I rubbed her palm with my thumb as I waded through downtown. “What would you think of that, Valerie?”
“I guess you have a point about being smart about it. To be honest, I’ve never thought about it before. At least you don’t sag your pants.” If Valerie was looking deep into my questions, she didn’t let it show, and I scoffed loudly before she let go of my hand to point across the dash. “Let’s stop there. There’s plenty of time before the mall closes, right?”
My gaze flickered over, and I almost thought I saw her frown under furrowed brows right beforehand. The Dairy Queen wasn’t too packed, and I pushed my blinker and rolled to a stop to wait for opposing traffic.
“I’ll have to check on the mall. It’s only seven-oh-four p.m., though.” Grumbling more to myself than her, I took my turn with a slight squeak of the tires. “Did you want to go in or go through the drive-thru?”
“Let’s go in.” Pulling into the first available spot, I jerked the gear into park and the emergency brake, and Valerie covered my hand with hers. Prickles rippled up my arm, and a cold sweat broke out under my shirt when she leaned over the center console. Her lips were soft, warm, and my heart thundered hard as my free hand flew to cup her even softer, warmer cheek. Our kiss was tentative, and her eyelids fluttered as my gaze darkened, my focus boiling down to what of her I could feel.
When she pulled back, Valerie’s eyes sparkled brightly, and she brushed her nose against mine with a small, wistful sigh.
“You didn’t kiss me at all Saturday night. I was wondering what it was like.” Her mumble hit me right in the chest, and my lips twitched in some weird way between an uncomfortable wince and an awkward smile.
“I’ll have to rectify that.” A genuine, small smile puffed out her cheeks, and Valerie’s palm left mine to cup my chin and wag my jaw like I was a kid. “I’m not going to say it.”
“It’s easy. Do it with me . . . ‘I can fix that.’” Drawling slowly, Valerie’s smile widened, her eyes sparkling a little bit brighter with amusement, and she caressed up my jaw. “You’re so difficult, Carlyle.”
“I refuse to be associated with that asshole Shia LaBeouf.” She ducked her head to laugh, and I downright grinned before unbuckling myself and turning the car off. “Let’s go before we end up not.”
“How many movies have you watched, huh?” Popping open the door, I turned back to Valerie as she unbuckled, casting me a heavy side-eye. For a second, I thought about that, but eventually, I couldn’t do anything but shrug.
“I’m not sure. I only know Disney because Mateo wasobsessedwith all that when he was younger. It’s not surprising he turned out the way he did with people like that for a role model.” When she opened her mouth again, I held up a hand, and the keys jingled loudly. “And, yes, I’ve met them— they’re all assholes.”
