Illya
Music pumped through the house, and I leaned on the driver’s side door of Theo’s car as I stared from across the street. That gut-churning, sinking feeling hadn’t gone away, but it’d lessened enough not to make me projectile vomit. Scratching my head as anxiety tingled my fingertips, I inhaled a deep, calming breath. Vehicles lined this section of the street and crammed in the driveway, but everything looked exactly how I remembered.
“So, are you gonna go inside?” Grunting at the question, I nodded even though I just continued to gaze, and my lips twisted in a frown. “Don’t make me drag you in there, Illya. I drove all the way here because ‘why not,’ so you better get something out of this.”
“It looks the same as it did ten years ago.” If I held up a picture from back then, the only difference would be the car in the open garage. The suburb itself hadn’t changed much, either— a few trees here and there, a new sign. Focusing on the house, I exhaled slowly and nodded again before pushing myself off the door. “They’re having a party. Let’s go crash it.”
Striding across the street, I could picture my cousins when I blinked— when they were eleven, of course, and pudgy-faced and happy when their mom bought their attention. Walking up the concrete path, I clenched my hands into tight fists as the hairs on the back of my neck stood up. The music was loud, bracingly so, and I had to bang on the door to get any sound to come back at me, let alone inside.
Pressing his palm against my back, Theo stole some of the tension gripping my spine, and I rolled my lips between my teeth to gnaw hard. The door swung open with no warning, and I stiffened as my uncle’s bright smile filled my field of vision. It took him a moment to recognize me, and his smile dimmed but didn’t disappear as I awkwardly held up my hand.
“Hi.” His bushy, greying brows rose at my greeting, and I cleared my throat roughly. “I was in Springfield, and I was hoping we could talk, but if you’re busy . . . ”
“Uh . . . n-no. Of course not.” Sputtering slightly, my uncle glanced over his shoulder briefly before stepping to the side, and surprise prickled the bridge of my nose. “Come on in. It’s funny you decided to come today— Jack just got back from his deployment. You didn’t know he went into the Army, did you?”
“No, I didn’t.” Stepping over the threshold, I blinked hard, and I gestured to Theo as his hand slipped from my back. “Um . . . this is Theo, my . . . my boyfriend.”
“Nice to meet you. I’m Jack. Senior, of course.” My uncle had a beer in his right hand, and Theo automatically stuck out his mangled palm. Jack grabbed it without thinking, and I held my breath as slight discomfort rippled across his features. “Come on in. I never thought you’d come back here after what happened, Illya. I wouldn’t blame you.”
“Me either, to be honest. I . . . I got a new job, and I went to my parents’ graves, so I figured, you know, since I was here . . . ” Shutting the door behind us, my uncle nodded in understanding, and I silently wondered if he was so . . . so mellow. “How have you been? It’s been a long time.”
“Ah, yeah, about that . . . it’s a story. Do you want a drink? Congratulations on your job. What do you do?” People I didn’t recognize filled the house— and a few people I did— and I nodded as we entered the kitchen. Rounding the wall, I paused as a memory of my aunt sitting there, with her purse and her mail spread out around her, gripped me. A soft touch on my arm dragged me back. The reverie was a fraction of a second, and I shook my head vigorously.
“It . . . it's just an office job. I work as a translator.” Straightening my shoulders, I followed my uncle to the fridge, and he opened the door with astounding ease. “What about you guys? Jack went into the Army?”
“Yeah, he just got back from his second deployment.” Nodding awkwardly, I took the dark-bottled beer my uncle offered me as a sense of surrealism swept through me, and he leaned on the counter to sigh heavily. He scanned me slowly, through shrewd, narrowed eyes, and I held my breath when he licked his lips in preparation. “You look good, Illya. I’m not gonna lie, I always hoped you’d come back so I could apologize properly.”
“You look really great, too, Uncle Jack. I don’t know what I was expecting, but . . . ” He smiled fondly like he did when I was younger, and my heart ached as my words failed me. Running my hand through my hair absently, I glanced around the kitchen, but everything was the same. Jack even wore the same brand of cargo shorts. The same spatula was sticking out of the drain. “It’s weird.”
“Well, not a lot has changed on the outside, except the kids. They’re all grown up now. So are you.” His eyes caught mine, soft, brown, and warm, and my lip twitched in a frown. “Why’d you go to your family’s graves? You don’t necessarily believe they’re listening, still, right?”
“Um . . . it’s been really hard these past few years, so I figured that coming back would help me get some perspective. Plus, I had thought about it in the past, but I never had the opportunity. I actually was living in southern California these past couple years.” The admission earned me a hum, and my uncle’s gaze shifted to Theo to fill with questions. Gesturing to him, the sense of an almost out of body experience intensified, and I cleared my throat heavily. “Theo actually helped me get the job. I start on Monday. It’s been a really long time since I had a stable job, so maybe it’s freaking me out.”
“I bet. Your mom came over when she got approached by someone about working for the government. Funnily enough, it was whenever Carol wasn’t around . . . or maybe not so funny.” My eyes widened at the fondness that tenderized Jack’s expression, and he twirled his beer in his hands, unopened and forgotten. “I would have to listen to her go on and on and on about the job over and over again. She never shut up until she decided she was out of stuff to say, and then she’d just walk out. One time, she was here until two a.m., almost.”
“I didn’t know that.” My dumb answer earned me a low chuckle, and my uncle twisted to grab the bottle opener with memories dancing in his eyes. “I’m not here to complain, Uncle Jack.”
“I wouldn’t mind it if you were, Illya. I . . . ” A soft knock interrupted him, and I twisted as his gaze slipped past me to a middle-aged woman I didn’t recognize. “Ah, Illya, this is my wife, Marley.”
She was pretty, with wrinkles in the right places, and her greys were just the right shade. Smiling politely, she stepped into the kitchen, and I nodded curtly as tightness tingled the smeared skin on my chest. Something cold touched my arm, and I turned back to Jack as he held out the bottle opener for me.
“Like I said, it’s a long story, but I think it’s about time you heard the whole thing.” Leaning back, my uncle took a deep swing of his beer, and I clenched my jaw hard as I tightened my grip on my bottle. “We were getting divorced. Carol was always worried about bills because her lawyer was consuming her money. I couldn’t stand her doing what she did to you, and there were a lot of problems for a long time beforehand, but the deaths of your family were what pushed me to take that step.”
“You said you didn’t know she was stealing?” Uncle Jack gave a guilty, grim smirk and slight shrug, and I lifted my beer to my lips. I hated beer, but even it couldn’t wash the sour taste from my tongue.
“I didn’t know the extent, but I knew the moment she took the property managers to court that she’d waste it all and leave nothing for you. I wasn’t in a position financially to stash money for you, or I would’ve done that. We tried to keep it up for the kids and for you, Illya, but when Carol started remodeling the house, I knew you’d know that she was up to something. At the time, it seemed like the less horrible option, for you to hate me instead of hating yourself. I wasn’t expecting you to sue her for it, and I wasn’t expecting her to commit suicide, but I was really proud of you for it at the time.”
“I don’t hate you, Uncle Jack. I don’t even hate her. That’s just using energy I don’t have.” Marley popped open the refrigerator out of the corner of my eye, but I focused on my uncle as a sigh rattled my sternum. “It is what it is, I guess. It took me a long time, but I’m on track now.”
“After she died, I wanted to offer you your room back, but you’d disappeared. I hired a private investigator, but you’re really good at blending into crowds, always have been. Needless to say, things stabilized after a few years. Jack was having a lot of problems in school, so he decided to go to a reform camp on his own. He’s flourished. Grant is a senior now. He’s doing well. I’d talked to them about divorce long before I actually did it, and I got lucky they were starting to get to that age where they had a contention with Carol. Of course, her death hit them hard, but for what it is, if possible, I believe in the right way.” Nodding in understanding, I licked my lips heavily as my mind whirred furiously. Maybe, at the time, I’d just been so disinterested in anyone but myself that I’d never noticed. Maybe, because it’d been like that since I arrived, it was just normal to me. To be honest, the ‘why’ didn’t matter anymore, and I lifted my beer to my lips to neck the contents before inhaling deeply.
Whatever concoction of words my mind was about to belch out was cut off by a shout, and I twist as my heart leaped into my throat. Jack, in his full Army garb, stood in the mouth to the kitchen, and the fine hairs on my arms stood up. He wasn’t pudgy-faced anymore, even as shock reddened his features. My mind raced— what did he know about me? He was young when my parents died, and I’d moved in.
Jack started toward me, and I tensed when I realized he was going to tackle me. My heart stuttered, and the anxiety in my gut spread to my fingertips and toes.
But, in about the time it took to blink, Jack was on his back. There wasn’t even the slightest thump against the tiles or faintest shudder of the floor. In one fraction of a second, he was standing, and then, his knees were up against his chest, and he was staring at the ceiling.
“Don’t touch her.” Standing over Jack menacingly, Theo frowned darkly, and my cousin gasped stupidly as he caught up with events. My brows rose as surprise dried my mouth when Theo stuck out his good hand, and he helped Jack to his feet to pat his back hard. “Welcome back.”
