Illya
Eight Weeks Later . . .
Straddling Theo’s waist,I couldn’t help but smile as his palms dragged up my calves, and he grumbled deep in his chest.
“Fucking creep . . . watching me sleep.” His mumble tugged up the corners of my mouth, and Theo cracked open his eyes to stare at me blearily. Kneading the butts of my palms against his chest, I relished his tired, languish groan, and he reached to grapple my ass in powerful palms. “You mad at me? What’d I do to deserve this, huh?”
“I’m not mad.” My simple reply earned me a grunt, and I arched into Theo’s hands to hum as warmth pooled in the pit of my belly. His cock stiffened against my thigh, and I rolled my hips as he spread my bare ass cheeks. “Theo . . . ”
Ducking my head, I ground against Theo as tingles shot down my spine, and my chest tightened when I brushed my lips along his jaw. Strong fingers squeezed and groped my ass, and he buried his face in my neck to nibble deliciously. Hopefully, this morning, things would go farther. The notion in itself was exciting, and my core clenched as I popped my ass. Goosebumps blanketed my body when my folds wrapped around his cock, and he pushed down on my ass to slather my juices along his shaft.
“Are you sure you can handle me, Illya?” Gasping as Theo sunk his teeth deep in my shoulder, I braced my fists on the pillow under his head, and he caressed up my back. Shivers lodged between my shoulder blades, and I shuddered in expectation as I nodded against his cheek. “Yeah-h-h . . . I bet you think so.”
“P-please . . . ” My lips trembled against his ear, and Theo swept his fingertips down my back at my whimper. Reaching around my thigh, he pumped his cock, and excitement almost numbed me as I spread my knees. Palming his chest, I bit down on my bottom lip as pink crept up on my field of vision. My ribs warbled from the intense desire that battered them, and my juices seeped out of me as he slapped his cock my core.
“Why are you so fucking good to me, huh?” The growl caught me off guard, and I paused as Theo teased my entrance with his left hand. His eyes met mine, and he frowned under furrowed brows at what must’ve been a troubled look on my face. “What?”
“What about this is good, Theo? This is what happened last time, and the time before that, and the time before that. We almost fuck, but we never actually do. Do you not want to?” Sourness twisted his features, and I pushed down on his shoulders insistently. “It’s been weeks, and you won’t kiss me. You’ll stuff your cock down my throat, but you wo— ”
“Illya, we talked about this. Take your bandages off.” The fine hairs on the back of my neck stood up at that, and my nails dug into Theo’s shoulders as I frowned darkly. He reached for my face, but I pulled back, and I climbed off him with his glare strafing my back. “It’s not unreasonable to want to see you naked. Just because your last boyfriend was a spineless bitch doesn’t mean I am, too. In case you didn’t notice, I’ve got my fair share of scars, Illya.”
“Whatever.” Tiny, angry tears pricked my eyes, and I stood up to run both my hands through my hair roughly. The long, rich strands sucked the heat from my palms, but it just ended up zinging down my face and sternum to ball in my chest. “What’s the point?”
“Illya— ”
“No!” Whipping around, my face flamed as my hair sliced my cheek, and Theo stiffened with his feet on the floor. Pointing at the door with a trembling hand, I blinked back the sting in my eyes as my heart throbbed painfully. “Get out if you’re not gonna. You’re a fucking liar, Theo. Everyone I know is a liar. It’s been weeks—weeks— and all I get is . . . is . . . is your cock in my mouth? And you won’t even kiss me. What thefuck!”
Sputtering wildly from the force of my emotions, my ruined skin started to burn from the flames that licked down my neck. This time, my bandages couldn’t help me, and I heaved harsh pants as Theo stared at me with daggers in his eyes. His jaw clenched and released, the silence ringing louder and louder beyond the blood drumming in my ears. Goosebumps washed my arms, and my breath caught when he slowly stood up with a deep, stabilizing inhale.
“I told you before that I wouldn’t say ‘no’ to you, Illya. I wouldn’t take advantage of you, right?” Stiffening when he took a threatening step toward me, I gasped harshly when Theo grabbed my face with his good hand. His frigidly cold fingers sucked the heat from my cheeks, and his eyes blazed with icy sharpness that could cut steel. Short, sharp nails dug into my jaw, and a tiny sliver of fear lodged in my heart. “It’s been weeks, andallyou get is my cock in your mouth? I won’t kiss you? That’s what you’re complaining about? Do Iwantto fuck you? Are you really that fucking stupid, Illya?”
My heart nearly stopped beating when he leaned in so close to my face, and I squeezed my eyes shut and held my breath in quivering lungs.
“Ineedit. I need your tight pussy around my fingers. I need to taste that slick juice. But you don’t want to give me all of you, Illya. I thought we had something deeper thanskin.” Theo’s nasty snarl sent spit flying into my face, and I flinched when he bumped his right knuckles against my bad shoulder. “I guess I was wrong. You’re not obligated to show me yours, but I’m done investing more than you. If that’s all you really want— to get fucked without any of the rest— go ahead.”
“Stop it.” My whimper earned me a vicious growl, and Theo pushed me against the wall but didn’t press against me. The hairs on the back of my neck bristled wildly, and I squeezed my eyes tighter shut as his stubble rubbed my cheek raw.
“I thought we were beyond all this shit, Illya. Do you really want to give this up? Are we just together to break up? Over a toss in the sack? That’s what you want to fight about? Really? If that’s what you think— that I’m content not having all of you— then I’ll walk out that door and not come back.”
“I’mtrying.” Theo was deathly quiet at my admission, and my muscles locked when he pressed his mangled palm against my chest. With the bandages, it didn’t hurt— his gentle, bare touch— and my eyes popped open to catch his.
“Try harder. I don’t know why you won’t take your bandages off, Illya, but you’re right, what’s the point of any of this if you still don’t trust me?” My heart hammered against his palm, and he tilted his head to brush his lips against my temple tenderly. “When you take your bandages off for me, I want you to do it because you trust me, not because you think it’ll get you laid.”
“I just want to be closer to you, Theo.” I was so fuckingpathetic, and his cheek twitched when he pulled back. Carefully releasing my face, he caught my gaze and held it in a vice grip as he scratched his jaw almost casually.
“Do you think you can get that close without compromising yourself? That’s the point, Illya. You can’t pick and choose. You can’t decide in one moment that something makes you vulnerable and then another thing, another moment. It doesn’t work like that.” An ugly blotch smeared across my lungs and strangled my heart, and I tore my eyes off Theo as shame crawled up my throat. He sighed heavily, cupping my cheeks in both his palms, and I pursed my lips thinly against the dense lump that tried to burst through. “I won’t wait around forever. If you can’t be as honest with me as I am with you, then there’s nothing more to say.”
“A-are . . . ” Clearing my throat roughly, I licked my dry lips heavily as anxiety bubbled up like thick, black tar in my gut. “Are you on-call today?”
“No.” The large gap between the fingers on his left hand shrunk a little as he caressed my cheek, and I ground my teeth. “Where do you want to go?”
“A cemetery.” My eyes flickered up to watch Theo’s expression from under my lashes, and he smiled sotenderly. “If . . . if I start anywhere, it’d be there.”
Reaching to wipe his saliva from my face, Theo traced my lips with his thumb, and I tilted my head to rest my forehead on his sternum. Closing my eyes as he cupped the back of my head, I inhaled a shallow breath of his musky smell and held it deep in my lungs.
“I know it’s different, Illya. You do this a lot, get all huffy about opening up.” Kneading my scalp, Theo pressed his lips to my crown as shame rattled my ribs at his mumble. “Trusting me will get you farther than this superficial shit.”
“I don’t think it’s superficial to want to be under you.” Taking him by the wrist, I dragged his palm down from my chin, and he tensed as he palmed my breast gently. Covering all his fingers with mine, I exhaled slowly, but my bandages kept the friction from his callouses from causing me any pain. It was almost symbolic, and he held my head firmer to his chest as his heart thundered against my eye sockets. “It doesn’t hurt like this.”
“It doesn’t feel good, either, does it?”No, not really.But Theo already knew the answer to his own question.
