Illya
“You’re quiet.” Tearing my eyes off the oncoming sign emblazoned with ‘Pine Valley— Next Exit,’ I flexed my fingers as a slight, tingly numbness slithered up my arm. Theo’s pensive expression disappeared, but not fast enough, and a sigh dried my lips before I licked them in preparation.
“I know what I said at the waffle place earlier. I was just thinking . . . my life’s really not worth living as it is right now.” His cheek twitched under my fingers, and Theo didn’t protest as I pulled away to twiddle my thumbs in my lap. “I don’t want to kill myself. I hope things will get better, and I’m trying really hard to make it better. But I’m really, really unhappy. I live in a shit place. I work in a shit place. And I know that it’s better than it was before, but why am I content with that? That’s fucked up. The whole concept of life right now is messed up.”
“Isn’t that the point of working hard? So you can make your life worth it?” There was no judgment in his tone, only slight confusion, and a little worry at my words. I mean, who wouldn’t be worried about some deep, philosophical shit like what’d just come out of my mouth? “You don’t have to worry about Sylvie anymore. That’s one issue down, right?”
“I may not have to worry about her, but now I have to worry about money. I know it’s a grind— that’s not the issue. I just . . . sometimes, I just want things to get better overnight with minimal work on my part.” A sour smirk twisted my lips at how stupid that desire was, and I ran my free hand through my hair absently to pull the strands over my shoulder. “It’s dumb and unrealistic, but . . . ”
“It’s not dumb, Illya.” My cheeks warmed as Theo reached to stroke my jaw with stiff fingers, and I blinked back the sting in my eyes. “You’ve been through a lot. Just because other people have had it worse or are luckier doesn’t negate that.”
“You know . . . I honestly don’t know why. Like you said earlier, why don’t I just give in, huh? Why don’t I just take my pants off and hope it’s enough? My mom used to tell me that anything I did in desperation wasn’t something to be ashamed of. It may not be panic, but I would consider myself desperate, I guess.” Casting Theo a wry glance, my lips quirked up at the ghost of a thought that flittered through my head. “This is the part where you say you’re not gonna take advantage of me.”
“Like fuck I’d be stupid enough to turn you down, Illya.” He said the words, but I could tell that screwing me wasn’t really the focal point of his conviction. Stopping at the end of the off-ramp, he flicked on his blinker before catching my eyes firmly. “Your mom is right— and why should you have to take the brunt of someone else’s shitty choices? Sylvie put you in a hole, and she’s not gonna help you crawl out.That’sfucked up, Illya, not confronting the fact that, for the foreseeable future, your life is gonna suck. You know it. You accept it. And it’s not gonna change overnight like you want, but that’s okay because you always had to fight for everything, right? If you don’t fight for this, where’s the big ‘fuck you’ to the world, huh?”
“You know, Theo, I like you better when you’re not trying to be romantic.” His head snapped to the side to face me, and his two fingers slid off my chin to curl around my shoulder. For a long moment, he just stared at me, and a fury of emotions played in his eyes before he twisted forward again. Gripping the wheel tightly, he pulled off the ramp and onto a road, and huge oaks line either side of us.
“We’re here.” Agorgeous, hand-painted, hand-carved, wooden sign hung over the mouth of a long driveway, and I rolled my bottom lip between my teeth to gnaw diligently.
“A rehab center? Why’d you bring me to a rehab center?”
“It’s a rest and rehabilitation resort— not a rehab center. Just trust me, Illya. You’ll like it.” Perfectly manicured lawns clung to even more perfectly laid stones that lined the drive, and Theo cleared his throat roughly as he drove up the winding, uncracked asphalt. “Mateo comes here when he can’t handle the adult world.”
“O-oh . . . ” Well, that answered that question. I really doubted Theo was the kind of guy to get a facial and pedicure after a long day. The sprawling grounds were lush and green, and people were just milling around enjoying themselves. “I could work every day of my life and not afford to come to a place like this.”
“I know.” Scrunching up my nose at that, I crossed my arms over my chest as we reached the top of the long drive. The mansion that stood at the end of the asphalt was bigger than my entire apartment block combined, and my eyes widened to take it all in. Huge, spiral columns of granite held up an empty balcony, and I craned my neck to press my face against the window. The vehicle jostled to a stop, and someone dressed in a smart uniform that may have cost more than Theo’s car came bounding down the steps.
He opened my door for me, smiling welcomingly, and anxiety slammed into my chest as I swung my legs out. Another person rounded the front of the car and let Theo out, and I stood up to gaze at this disgusting display of insane wealth.And I get to experience it.
“Come on.” I tore my eyes off the mansion, and Theo took my hand to lead me up the perfectly polished, dirt— free, marble steps. “Mateo bought a room here we can use.”
“W-we? Theo, no.” My heart jumped into my throat, but I didn’t want to scuff the floor by trying to stop. The ruined skin on my chest throbbed in fiery irritation, and he twisted before pausing when he caught sight of the apprehension on my face. Four fingers and a thumb threaded between mine, and a frown marred his expression as he shook his head roughly.
“Mateo will know I’m here. They’ll call and tell him. I don’t want him showing up and finding you alone. That’s all. Like I said, he doesn’t know that you’re Sylvie’s roommate, and I want to keep it that way.” Skepticism dried my mouth, and Theo’s frown morphed into a scowl as prickles raced up and down my spine. “What?”
“What if he does show up? Theo, I can’t afford to be in debt to that asshole over a couple hours in a real bed and a nice massage. Please.” I didn’t recognize the keening tone in my voice, and my palms clammed up as I took a step back. “This is a bad idea, okay. I can’t do this.”
“We’ll just rent a room. I just thought it’d be easier since Mateo already has one, and it’s got complimentary features.” Sure, the more I hung around Theo, the easier it was to figure him out, but it was also becoming startlingly apparent that he was stubborn as all Hell. Pursing my lips thinly at that alternative, I started to shake my head, but Theo’s scowl only darkened. “Consider it a gift— no repayment or expectation.”
“Theo, I . . . ”I know you’re trying to be nice, but this is making me sick and uncomfortable.The words balanced on the tip of my tongue, but I could see it in his tight features that he was starting to burn his fuse and get frustrated. Something had to cave, and I didn’twantit to be me, but . . . “I guess that’s okay.”
His eyes brightened in a mix of surprise and satisfaction, and he squeezed my hand before leading me up the stairs. My feet tingled in my ratty sneakers as I stepped very lightly, and I glanced back to make sure I wasn’t tracking in dirt. The front doors of the mansion opened when we reached the top landing, and the fine hairs on the back of my neck stood up.
Opulence was a good word to describe this place— it was absolutely dripping in creature comforts and expense. There were old-timey elevators with personally closing doors opposite the reception desk, and a huge, grand staircase. It was like being on the Titanic.Man, I wish Leonardo DiCaprio was here.
“Welcome back, Mister Jackson.” Even the receptionist was beautiful in a model kind of way, and she flashed us both a smile with red-painted lips. Her high cheekbones cradled eyes that sparkled, but I guess she had something to be happy about. Even if she hated her job for whatever reason, I was sure she got paid in potato sacks instead of envelopes. “How can I be of service today?”
