She would lay down my life, too, thought Celeste, but she didn’t say it.
“Where will you go when you bring Melisandre with you?” Lionel asked, keeping his horse beside hers. “Back to Glen Arrin?”
“Perhaps.” She believed Nairna and Laren might grant her sanctuary. And although she had wounded Dougal’s pride, she wanted a second chance.
The thought of walking away, of never seeing him again, upset her in a way she’d never expected. He’d left her behind and likely would never forgive her for what she’d done. She ought to simply let him go.
But she didn’t want to. Not like this, with him loathing the sight of her. She’d made mistakes and needed to atone for them. And more than that, if there was a child after their night together, he deserved to know about it. Pretending it hadn’t happened was a coward’s path.
He wouldn't want to see her. It was entirely possible that he'd refuse to speak with her again. Unless...
A sudden thought struck her with a jolt of hope. It was entirely too soon to tell whether a child had resulted from their stolen night together. And perhaps she could stay with Dougal, for a time, until they knew for certain. At least, long enough to gain his forgiveness and to show him that she truly did love him.
Her imagination fired up with determination. This time, she would fight for the man she wanted.
It was a fortnight before she returned to Glen Arrin with her sister. Celeste rode her husband’s Arabian stallion, Titan, while Melisandre took a tamer gelding. Titan was black with a white star on his forehead and white markings above his hooves. He was slightly larger than Dougal’s mare and was more difficult to manage. All through the journey, the animal was stubborn, trying to take her in whatever direction he wanted.
“Dougal is welcome to you,” she informed the stallion. In answer to her remark, the horse veered left and began to graze.
Melisandre smirked. “He has a mind of his own, doesn’t he?”
Celeste dismounted and seized Titan’s reins, guiding him away from the grass and forcing him back onto the path. “Not for long. Once Dougal gets him, he’ll make him behave.”
Though she spoke as if it were nothing, inwardly she was nervous. The last time she’d seen Dougal, he’d been furious with her. He might not believe anything she said.
“And he...wants you back, even after all that’s happened?” Her sister was well aware of her feelings toward Dougal. There were days when Melisandre seemed much wiser than a girl of three and ten.
“We made our peace,” was all she could say. But with each mile they drew closer, her pulse quickened with fear.
Melisandre looked doubtful. “What if the MacKinlochs refuse to let us stay? Where will we go?”
“They won’t turn us away,” she assured her. “But even if they did, we could always appeal to the Baron of Locharr.”
Celeste refused to consider failure. Dougal would be angry, but she would not let him go a second time. The true question was whether he would set aside his pride and forgive her.
They continued riding until they reached the gates. Once they arrived, Lord Eiloch’s men departed, leaving them to stand there alone.
To the guards, Celeste said, “I’ve brought a gift for Dougal MacKinloch.” They recognized her from the earlier visit and allowed her to enter. But once she and Melisandre were past the gates, she sensed a chill in the atmosphere. There were stares in her direction but no smiles.
“They don’t seem happy to see us,” Melisandre whispered.
Celeste dismounted and led the stallion forward. There were people tending sheep and others milling about. Though she greeted a few of them, none answered her.
At the bottom of the stairs leading into the castle stood Nairna. The woman’s face was grave, her green eyes wary. Celeste suspected Dougal had told his family the very worst about her.
“I came to uphold my part of the agreement,” she said to Nairna, holding out the horse. “I promised Dougal this stallion.”
“He does not wish to see you,” the woman answered.
She knew. Somehow Nairna had guessed what had happened between them. But Celeste hadn’t journeyed this far to give up.
“Is he here?” she asked gently. “There is something he needs to know. I must speak with him.”
“He is, but I will honor his wishes. You’ve brought the horse, and you can go back to Eiloch.” Nairna’s words were like frost, and her warning was clear: Hurt a MacKinloch man, and there is no place for you here.
But they could not return to Eiloch. She had given up everything to come here, and there was no turning back. Celeste closed her hand over Melisandre’s and regarded Nairna. “I don’t know what he told you, but if I could just see him . . . “
“He knows you are here. If he wants to see you, he will.” Nairna took the reins of the horse. “I’ll bring the stallion to him.”
