It was a strange array and when she sat up, there was only the light of the furnace to illuminate the room.
“How long did I sleep?” she asked.
“A few hours. I suppose you needed it.” He reached out for the platter of food and brought it to her. “Would you like some bread?”
Laren blinked for a moment but took the slice from him. When she saw the food he offered, she realized he’d brought nothing with a strong odor, no foods to turn her stomach. Only a selection of cheese, bread, oat cakes and dried cherries.
“You remembered.” She took the cherries with a smile and another surge of unexpected emotions passed through her at his thoughtfulness. She’d eaten their entire store of dried cherries when she’d been pregnant with Adaira, for it was a craving she couldn’t seem to satisfy.
“I’ve already eaten,” he added. “I know you don’t like meat during this time.”
The piece of bread whetted her appetite and after her stomach grew settled, she tried more of the food.
“Are you feeling better?”
She was, and once she began eating, it seemed that she couldn’t get enough. The cherries were the perfect blend of tart and sweet, and she found herself devouring them by the handful.
When she had sated her hunger, she drew her knees up beneath her skirts and looked up at Alex. There was amusement in his eyes and she raised an eyebrow. “What?”
“I was almost afraid to put my hand near the food for fear you’d eat it, too.”
She flashed a smile. “Never come between a pregnant woman and her food.”
He sat beside her, dropping his hand around her back. The warmth of his arm was comforting, and she found herself leaning against him. “I remember how we went walking around the loch when you were pregnant with David. You brought bits of food to eat along the way.”
The knife of memory sliced through her, but she understood what he was trying to do. The pain of losing David would never go away. But there were a few good memories left to hold on to.
“You laughed at me,” she said. “You’ve never known that sort of hunger before. It consumes you.”
She reached out and laced her hand with his. His palm was warm, his fingers touching hers with gentleness. “He was a handsome bairn, wasn’t he?”
“I always wondered if he would have had your eyes or mine. All our children had blue eyes when they were born.”
He wiped a tear away from her cheek, and she struggled to find a smile. “He’ll always have a piece of my heart. Even in Heaven.”
“He took a piece of mine as well,” Alex admitted. He brought her fingers to his chest where she could feel his heart beating. His mood grew dim, and he admitted, “We’re leaving in the morning to find the MacLachors. Bram will come with me, but Callum, Ross and the rest of the men will stay behind to guard Glen Arrin. Now that the walls are finished, you should be safe enough.”
“What if they attack?” Her fears gathered up into a tight ball within her stomach.
“If anything happens, send Callum to us. We’ll come back as fast as we can ride.”
She held on to him, wishing he wouldn’t leave. “I need you to come back to me.” Especially if the pregnancy went badly. “If the worst happens . . . I don’t think I can go through it again.”
Alex rested his hand upon her hip. “You’re stronger than you think, Laren. But I pray this child will be safe.” His hand moved over to her stomach again, as if he could command it to be so.
Chapter Thirteen
“Idon’twanttogo,” Mairin wept, her arms around Laren’s neck.
She gripped the young girl as though she could hold on to the last remnants of her daughter’s childhood. Though Mairin would visit from time to time, it broke her heart to see her leave. She would be so far away.
“You’ll be on an adventure,” Laren said, smiling through her tears.
“Mama, did you go off for fostering?”
Laren shook her head. “My father couldn’t send me. We were too poor and had no family that would take us. But think of what it will be like. You’ll see the places where the Norse raiders came. And you’ll have everything you need.” They had given the Sinclairs cattle and sheep, as well as a horse for Mairin.
Laren reached into a fold of her cloak and pulled out a flat disc of white-and-yellow glass that she’d shaped into a flower. “I made this for you.” She kissed her daughter again, adding, “We’ll see you in the summertime.”
