“There you are, Emma.” Cormac leaned in and rested his hand on her spine in a silent greeting. Then he added, “Good morning, Aunt Nuala.”
“Good morning,” she answered in a cheerful voice. “It’s very glad we are to have you home, Cormac. How are you feeling?”
“I am well, thank you.” But Emma detected a note of caution in his words, as if it weren’t entirely true. “I’ve been wanting to speak with Cousin Lorcan,” he said. “Have you seen him?”
“Oh, my son is out and about somewhere,” Nuala answered. “He may be riding at the moment. If you go toward his house, you might see him.”
“Thank you,” Cormac answered before he turned back to Emma. “I’d like to show you the grounds of Dunmeath. Will you join me?”
“Of course.” She bid farewell to Nuala and followed him down the pathway. To her surprise, she found horses waiting for them.
“Have you ever been riding before?” he asked.
“Not since I was a little girl.” The idea was both thrilling and frightening. Cormac brought her close to the animal and let her rest her hand upon the mare’s face. The horse sniffed at her, and when she scratched her ears, the mare leaned in closer.
“She likes that a lot, does Flora,” he said. “Now that you’re acquainted, I’ll help you up.” He helped her find the stirrup and then lifted her on sidesaddle. Emma felt awkward about the position, but she rested her hands upon the mare and found her balance. She was sensitive to the movement, but Cormac kept the horses at a gentle walk.
Only after they were a short distance away did she ask, “How are you truly feeling?”
He was silent for a little while, then admitted, “It’s coming back. This morning, the sickness was like a blade in my stomach.”
“I’m sorry.” But an apology would do nothing to help. “Did you eat anything?”
“Not yet.”
Emma tried to remember what they’d eaten last night, but it had only been light fare, a supper tray sent to their room. They had shared the food, and she felt well enough.
Cormac took the reins of her horse and continued their path toward the edge of Dunmeath. The color green stretched out over the land as far as she could see, while blurry gray stone walls divided the plots for farming.
For a long time, they rode alongside one another. He brought her farther and then stopped the horses. “I hate being ill. I was enjoying our time by the sea. But I should have expected that it would come back.”
She reached out for his hand and took it. His skin felt cool, but when she reached out to touch his forehead, it seemed clammy. “We should return to the house, Cormac.”
Though she kept her voice calm, inwardly, she was frightened that his time was running out.
“Aye,” he answered. But when he gazed off into the distance, he said, “I’m sorry I brought you to Ireland, Emma. It wasn’t fair to you.”
“What do you mean?”
“I took you away from your home and family for my own selfish reasons. And if you do conceive an heir and I die, I’ll be leaving you behind for my mother to torment.” His face twisted with frustration.
“I know she doesn’t like me,” Emma agreed. “But we both want you to be well. Surely, we can find common ground somehow.”
He released her hand. “Promise me something, Emma.”
“What is it?” She didn’t like the grim tone of his voice.
“I don’t want you to stay and watch me die,” he said quietly. “I never wanted that.” His voice sounded as if he were in pain. “If the worst happens, I want you to go back to England—even if somehow there’s a child. It’s not right that I asked you to stay here.”
She’d never heard such bleakness in Cormac’s tone, and it bothered her deeply. And whether the cause was the pain of his illness or the fact that she was not yet with child, she couldn’t simply stand aside and let him give up. He needed her to fight for him, even if he didn’t know it. She had no intention of leaving him to die in such pain.
A pang caught her heart, and she straightened. “We’ve only been here one day, and I am going nowhere, Cormac.” When he didn’t speak, she continued. “You bought my hand in marriage in the auction, and I won’t let you give it back.”
He leaned in to kiss her, and she met his lips softly, savoring his touch. With a heavy sigh, he cupped the back of her nape. “You are a stubborn wife,a chroí.”
“I am. We’re going to see new doctors and find the reason for your illness.”
And even if he didn’t believe she could ever be his countess, she would find a way. Even if it took months of counting steps in the hallways in the middle of the night, or if she had to hire someone to read to her—somehow, she would make a place for herself here, for his sake.
