They passed by a table of food, and Trahern reached for a loaf of bread. She, in turn, chose a flask of wine. Hunger gnawed at her stomach, and he found a place for them beside one of the fires. After tearing the loaf in half, he handed her the bread. She tasted it and then took a sip of wine from the flask, passing it to him.
His fingers brushed against hers when he took the flask, and her heartbeat quickened. In the firelight, his hair was a dark color, still cut close to his scalp. Gray eyes watched over her, and the rest of the world seemed to slip away.
“You look like an ancient god, wearing that,” she teased, pointing toward his mask.
His mouth didn’t smile, but he removed the mask and set it aside. “I’m not a god, Morren. Just a man.”
A man she’d turned away. A soft shiver of regret flowed over her skin at the memory. Trahern had shown her that a man’s touch didn’t have to be degrading or painful. It could be something beautiful.
All around them, she saw men and women together. Trahern’s eyes faltered upon the handfasted couple. Though he said nothing, she sensed something in his gaze. Was it envy?
Confusion tangled up her thoughts, for she saw that her refusal had indeed bothered him. She’d struck down his pride, believing that he’d wanted only to use her in the arranged marriage.
But perhaps that wasn’t it at all. In his gray eyes, she saw the loneliness of his life. He’d been a traveler, moving from place to place while his brothers had their own homes and families. Now, he’d lost the only stability he had, without the MacEgan name to call his own.
She ached for his loss, and in that moment, she realized how much she cared about him. Just as he made her feel safe, she wanted to offer him the comfort of her own embrace.
His marriage proposal had been awkward and clumsy. But she sensed that he would have honored the vows spoken, treating her like a cherished bride. Though it might be an arrangement at first, perhaps it could become something more.
Did she want that? To fall asleep with his arms around her and awaken beside him each morning? The very thought opened up a longing deep within her. She wondered if it was even possible, to push away the darkness of her past and learn what it meant to feel desire.
It was growing late, and she ate the remainder of her food, realizing that most of the men and women had retired for the night. She was about to ask Trahern to walk back to the castle with her, when she suddenly heard a noise.
Frowning, she listened, trying to identify what it was. There was a rhythmic, panting sound, coupled with a female moan. A man grunted, and she recognized what she was hearing.
A flash of panic came over her, and Trahern saw it. Images poured through her, and she set down her bread, clenching her knees to her chest.
Just get up and leave, she told herself.You don’t have to listen.And yet, her feet wouldn’t move.
Trahern took her hand, saying, “He’s not hurting her, Morren. Don’t be afraid.”
Throaty moans came from the couple, and she threw herself into Trahern’s arms, trying to block out the sound. More harsh memories battered at her, threatening to drown her. But through it all, he held her.
He’d become her stronghold, her shelter from the darkness. In his arms, she had what she needed most—a man who understood her pain.
She knelt on the ground with her arms around his neck. Trahern murmured words of reassurance, his wide palms smoothing down her spine. Like a healing touch, she warmed to it.
And in that moment, she realized she needed him, this strong man who had lost so much. In spite of everything, he’d always been there for her. Could she do less for him?
His eyes were intensely focused upon her, as though no one else existed. She brought his arms to her waist, reaching up to his shoulders. Behind him came the satisfied moans of the lovers, and after a time, their voices fell into silence.
Her mind drifted back to the handfasted couple she’d seen earlier. A year and a day wasn’t so very long to ask. It was enough time to learn whether the arrangement could become a lasting union. Her one hesitation was the prospect of the marriage bed.
“Are you all right?” he asked, releasing her from his embrace.
She nodded, taking a breath. Best to speak her mind and be honest with him about the thoughts troubling her. “Trahern, if I were to agree to your marriage proposal, I don’t want you to despise me.” Her cheeks warmed with embarrassment. “I can’t be . . . like most women.” When her gaze shifted toward the direction of the lovers, he seemed to understand her meaning.
“Do you trust me?” he prompted.
“Yes.”
“Then know that I would never hurt you or despise you. No matter what happens.”
She lifted her face until her mouth was a breath away from his. So badly, she wanted to believe it. And though it went against her instincts, she found herself saying, “I’ll marry you, Trahern. Until after we’ve settled the matter of theLochlannach.”
He nodded, but there was no sense of anticipation or joy in his face. She hid her disappointment, wishing there was the hope of something more.
Thefollowingafternoon,Trahernfound himself pacing. He hadn’t seen Morren, not since she’d voiced her desire to handfast. Though he’d behaved as though it were nothing of importance, that wasn’t true at all. When she’d agreed to marry him, he’d felt a sense of relief. Not simply because he would gain Patrick’s support, but also for his own reasons. He wanted to be close to Morren, even if it would only be for a short time.
