Honora strode away from his dwelling without a farewell. Right now she wanted to work off her irritation. She crossed his land, minding her step through the cow pasture. Hot tears swelled up in her eyes, for Ewan's ambitions were blinding him to the truth.
She didn't want a kingdom. The fear of failure haunted her, knowing that she'd let the people of Ceredys down. She didn't want to be responsible for dozens of families, and whether they had enough food to last through the winter.
But Ewan did.
A heaviness rose up in her throat. She'd never known how important this was to him. She couldn't give him the kingdom he wanted; her dower lands were controlled by John. But neither did she want Ewan to waste years of his life, in search of gold he might never have.
Honora sank down in the grass and rested her forehead on her knees. No matter what he'd promised, she refused to stay behind in Erin while he went to fight her battles.
This was about more than vengeance or redemption. It was about proving to herself that she could fight her greatest enemy and win. That she could swallow her fears and become a true warrior.
She shielded her eyes from the morning sun and stared out at Laochre. The stronghold was filled with countless soldiers, Irishmen who walked with the quiet confidence of fighters.
And not a single one of them knew her secret. She'd hidden herself for so long, denying her abilities. Was it any wonder that Ewan could not see her as an equal, when she hid behind the shadows of her father's disapproval?
She stood, taking a deep breath. It was time to change that.
Chapter Eighteen
AsHonorapassedthehomes of the MacEgan tribe members, she was startled to see children gathering herbs, tying fresh sage, St. John’s Wort, and lavender into bundles. But what startled her most was the abundance of firewood.
“It’s for the fires,” Connor remarked, as he approached from behind her. “The ashes and embers will guard against bad luck. And all will jump across the coals for protection.”
“A dangerous custom.” She eyed the large pile of wood, thinking that it was impossible for anyone to leap over such a fire without catching their clothing ablaze.
“It is. And the children love it most of all.” A noticeable wince crossed his face. “My boys in particular.”
“Do you burn all of the herbs?”
“Not all. Some are twisted into bundles for luck. I usually give my wife Aileen a bundle of lavender. The problem is, she keeps grinding it up to make medicines.”
Even so, he walked over to one of the baskets of lavender and gave her a small handful. “Twist this into a bundle and make a wish. Then toss it into the fires tonight.”
Honora accepted the fragrant herbs, and began twisting the strands into a knot. There was so much to wish for, she hardly knew where to begin.
They walked alongside one another, and Connor suddenly tensed at the sight of a young maiden standing with a group of girls. Her long dark hair was twined with ribbons and flowers.
“Is something wrong?” Honora asked.
Connor looked murderous. “She’s too young for this.”
“Who?”
“My daughter, Rhiannon.” He crossed his arms across his chest, and it was then that Honora noticed the young men watching the girls. Connor looked as though he wanted to cut their throats and leave them out to bleed.
“Too young for what?”
A savage look glittered in his eyes. “Too young to be thinking of kissing a lad. Or worse, taking a lover. She’s only thirteen, for the love of Danu.” His left hand went to his sword hilt, and it was then that Honora noticed the scars.
Connor saw the direction of her gaze. “Don’t worry. If any of them dares to lay a hand on my daughter, I can use my sword well enough.”
Honora spied similar scarring upon his right palm. That one looked even more injured, the fingers twisted into an unnatural shape. “What happened to you?”
He sobered. “I was punished for a crime I did not commit. But thanks be, Aileen saved my hands. And my life.” He held his hands up for her inspection. “If it weren’t for her, I might have lost them.”
“Do they hurt?” She couldn’t imagine such a life, being unable to fully use her hands.
“No. They’re not as pretty as my face, but they can do what’s needed.” Connor winked, and his teasing nature set her at ease once more. “Now if you’ll excuse me, there are some lads I need to kill.”
